After a very long marridge of over 35 years, a couple divorces.The man remarries.Twenty years later his first wife dies.Is it proper for him to go to the wake.His / their children are in their 50s,some realatives still have anamosity, lots of tension ,whats proper, ? whats correct ?
2006-06-13 07:31:29 · 9 answers · asked by phoenix32137 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would say if they had children together then yes out of respect for their children he should go. If the other people can't understand that he's there to show respect and support to his childrens mother then they need a life, not to mention still holding resentment after 20 years? they really need to get over it already, but for the children i believe he should go and pay his respects, other people should be able to set aside their petty (not to mention irrelevant now) grievances at a time like this.
2006-06-13 07:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go and pay your respects, you should. Just try to be considerate of the other family memebers involved. If there is a showing, try to go early in the day, when not as many people will be there. Whatever you decide to do, don't get drawn into verbal skirmishes with anyone. Show your respect and don't stay. If possible, have one of your children go with you. After all it was their Mother and you are their Father, there is a connection there. Remember also, everyone's emotions will be a little raw right now, don't let them upset you by anything they may say or do.
2006-06-13 14:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by mopargrapeape 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of reaction are the relatives going to have? If he knows that this is going to cause a scene, then it's not respectful of her life and their relationship to go. It might be better for him to have a private wake with his children to support them without causing problems with her other relatives. But whatever decision he makes is appropriate. It is his relationship and that with his children and her that he is celebrating. What I wouldn't personally see as proper would be for his second wife to go with him.
2006-06-13 14:48:03 · answer #3 · answered by siri_reina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be very respectful to show up. You have children together and you were married for a long time so you obviously loved each other. I would go and to hell with who doesn't like it. She deserves to have you there, and you need to prove that a divorce doesn't undo the love you once shared.
2006-06-13 14:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by goddess17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cared about the woman i dont see a problem with him going to support his children. To hell what the other side of the family thinks about it. That is the mother of his children and he should be able to go pay his respects.
2006-06-13 14:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by bree30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had a relationship with this person, of course he should go to the wake. No matter what happened , you should always pay your respect to a deceased love one. Don't let family members stop you from paying your respects.
2006-06-13 14:40:04 · answer #6 · answered by froze1115809 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The woman was still his children's mother. He should go and be there for his children, but be there discreetly unless they want more.
2006-06-13 14:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by teamkimme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should go she was part of his life and the mother of his children, when my mother - in - laws ex dies she went to his funeral to say good bye they didn't talk for years and both were remarried she did it more for her kids than anything and you should to
2006-06-13 14:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the man should do what he feels is right. if it will make things worse among his family, then no. if he feels it's right, then he should go and politely explain this position to everyone.
2006-06-13 14:34:44 · answer #9 · answered by thetoothfairyiscreepy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋