What can a parent do to slow down a bright child so that they use the intelligence they have.?

Question

Wow, I really didn't expect much in terms of responses. I can see where a litle more detail might be of value here. My son is 9 years and just missed honor roll for the first time. His teacher has pointed out, on more than one occasion, that he rushes through everything. For example, he does poorly on open book tests/quizzes because he doesn't take the time to find the "whole answer' that is normally required.in such situations. Another example, is how he never double checks his math. He has demonstrated his knowledge and understanding all to well, but he rushes through the tests and doesn't double check his work. I hate to use the term "hyper", mainly because I don't want to give him an excuse, but he is a little bit hyper. I truly believe his problem can be controlled without medications; however, we just need to slow him down a bit.

Answer 1

Hi Bill,
My son was exactly as you describe. He's 22, now, and a successful chemical engineer. I'll "second" everything Fortunato wrote. The problem is with the lack of challenge in your son's classroom, not with your son. My son first experienced challenging math work in 9th grade, and since this was a new experience, it took some getting used to and his grades took a dip for awhile. But he turned himself around and finally had reason to see why working through homework problems was important. If your school system isn't going to change, there isn't much you can do at this point. Except I heartily endorse the suggestion of music education. I can honestly tell you that learning how to play the trombone was my son's best form of MATH enrichment he could get before high school. Besides learning how to work hard in SOMETHING, music is a logical language like math. I'm sure it kept my son's brain from shriveling up all those years.

Don't treat your son as though he needs EXTRA math practice. It's really, really difficult to find appropriate math enrichment for young kids. They mostly just need to progress ahead at their own rate of learning, but few schools let them do that. Offer your son some math and logic puzzle books and see if he takes to those.

Feel free to contact me. Good luck.

Answer 2

J.M.H.O. but from what you wrote it sounds like maybe your child has troubles focusing on one thing at a time? If that is the case, it could be that while your child is absolutely brilliant he/she might suffer from some sort of A.D.D. as most genius types do. Only a doctor could tell you if that is the case, and how to treat it. But only YOU can decide what is best for your child. PLUS you must also take into account the age of the child. If you are dealing with a toddler, then a certain amount of "wildness" is to be expected. If however you are dealing with a 9+ year old child then there may be work to be done.
Personally, I would say that if you honestly feel the need to slow your child down, then maybe it is time to look into some non--traditional approaches to calming a child rather than using prescription medications. Work with the childs diet, keep track of what they eat and how it makes them behave. There are some excellent books out there about food allergies that can trigger A.D.D. like symptoms. Also, make certain to establish a routine with your child and stick to it as best you can. Eventually your child will learn when it is play time and when it is time to work. Reading aloud to your children can also serve as a calming method. And finally, if they are having trouble in public school, consider homeschooling. School settings are put together to stimulate children with bright colors, a plethora of pictures and way too many distractions from other children. If you homeschool your child, he/she will already be in a comfortable setting that will naturally calm them. Homeschooling does however require a large amount of dedication, preparation, and sacrifice of time and money, so don't just jump into it without assessing your ability. Good luck and stay strong!

Answer 3

Many people have said to "not slow down" a bright child.

I agree with that. The main problem I see with bright children is that they are often NOT challenged, so when they finally bump into something they can't understand immediately or have to practice or struggle with before being able to understand it, they quit in frustration and never bother.

This is the probably the most common reason a smart child will end up not being successful in life -- because they have not learned the value of or the ability to be disciplined.

It's easy for a bright child to not be disciplined enough to persevere through things that a child with more average intelligence can achieve simply because he is used to working for whatever he gets.

So find things that challenge your kid. Give them chores that involve perserverence, yet allow some innovation so they don't get completely bored.

Practicing an instrument is another great activity, because it forces the kid to work on a steady basis to achieve a certain level of expertise.

Giving a kid a pet or some other form of responsibility outside the realm of raw intelligence also helps temper your child.

While you want to provide ample opportunity for your child to soak up things quickly as per her ability permits, you also want to provide ample opportunity for the child to be forced to work at something -- so that you can provide appropriate work strategies, as well as the experience that not everything worthwhile comes easily even if you're very intelligent.

Answer 4

A habit I have encouraged in my own children is for them to redo all incorrect answers on all of their work. They think of it as part of the learning process, not as a punishment or chore. Not that they don't complain, but they know the idea behind it is for them to write down the correct answer so it has another chance to find a home in their brain!

I liked "Fightinginertia's" answer. In addition to the homework hour s/he recommended I'd add a consequence for work done poorly.

From time to time my children get into a habit of not double checking their work, or being just plain sloppy. (Don't we all?) When they do, I give them an extra worksheet to complete in the appropriate subject area. It's a consequence they'd rather avoid, so after a couple days of this they begin to see the value of getting it right the first time around. I never do this if they're truly having trouble with a concept. This is only for needlessly sloppy/incorrect work. If they have trouble they get extra help.

I think this is a little of what it's like in the working world. If you do a job poorly or not as well as your boss knows you are able to, the boss will require you to fix your mistakes or do the whole project over.

One caveat: My kids are all working at a level that is challenging for them. If your son isn't challenged, you can still teach him to do a good job on his work. But if he's bored with the material he's being given and you can't afford to send him to some accelerated learning program, you can at least give him interesting things to do at home. My kids love working with their hands. You'd be amazed how much math is used in some of their projects.

You might look into public charter schools in your area. My children attend one that offers a non-traditional 5 day school program, a 2 day school/3 day homeschool program, a 3 day/2 day and 5 day homeschool program. Each program is tailored to the student's needs. There are many families that moved their academically accelerated children out of traditional classrooms so that they could work at their level. Perhaps there is something similar in your area.

Answer 5

Teach him that process (checking spelling, math and reading all the choices) is as important as products (the finished quiz). Since there's no prize for finishing first, encourage him to do more things slowly.

His teacher may also want to consider giving him more complex math problems so as soon as he's done (and checked) the regular ones, the harder ones will take him more time and/or (s)he'll have time to work with your son while the other students finish.

Lastly, encourage your child into games like Stratego and Risk or computer games like Age of Empires that require long term planning, strategy and processes rather than immediate product.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

I went through this myself as a child. I know that for the child, it is frustrating being in classes where he/she is the smartest and fastest in the classroom. The child feels as though he/she must wait for everyone else to finish; this leads to boredom, which leads to unproductivity. As a parent, you can provide constant stimuli for the child so that he/she does not become bored. For very young children, you can use word games and mathematics problems. For adolescents, a parent can provide extra reading assignments and a subsequent verbal report on the readings. These activities should help to reduce some of the down time that the child has becuase of his/her extra speed in cognition. However, if the parent has access to a magnet school, this would provide the child with the environment needed to flourish.

Answer 7

NOTHING...do not slow them down!! How old is the child? Allow them to explore at their pace. If you slow them down you may BORE THEM! One thing you can do, if old enough, is provide some serious challeges that take a lot of time to find the answer/solution to! Get them books that are harder to read and require them to read it as you read it so you can both talk about the book! Interact with them. If this is a young child, do not slow them down because you are tired or do not want to try to keep up to keep them from getting hurt. Let them take a few bumps and bruises. My daughter is a fast learner and likes to be on the move. It keeps me on my toes very often. I am able to tie her up with challenges though by constantly asking her questions that i know she either knows the answer to or she can relate the answer to something else. She is 21 months old and knows a great deal more than I did i am sure. Not to mention most people ask us if she is 3! Intelligence is something that needs to be nurtured as well as allowed to grow naturally. Do a lot of research on brain based learning and how art and music can help as well. Get him/her involved in a program or summer camps. Don't so him/her down......get more involved...challenge him/her more....and enjoy watching both the victories and the defeats!

Answer 8

A parent should not try to slow down their child's intelligence, because then the child will start to get lazy. Try to teach the child right from wrong while he or she is learning something. "Knowledge is power," so says Francis Bacon. I would also try to get the child to do something creative (taking an art class, piano class, etc.), that way he'll use both the left and right side of his brain. Creativity helps the child express himself in a positive way rather than a negative way.

Answer 9

The intelligence that a child might have may not be used because of the tasks that they are being asked to perform. A child or anyone else that is intelligent would much prefer to work on something that challenges their mind rather than something can can be done easily. Give them a task that forces them to think harder about how to solve problems. Not only will this allow them to develop their skills, but it will improve them as well.

Answer 10

With very few and almost tragic exceptions, after 20 year teaching I've found that normal kids are not "hyper". They seem that way in the presence of a "slow" teacher. Move him to a more challenging environment.