If you love the man, nothing anyone here says is going to make the slightest difference...Babydoll, I don't know your jailbird, so I can't make any comment about whether or not he'd be worth waiting for, but I can tell you this, with absolute certainty: Loving an inmate is a VERY HARD ROAD....it's about slogging through endless paperwork, it's trying to keep up with rules that seem to change every week, it's waiting for incredibly expensive collect phone calls that might or might not come and when he doesn't call, praying with all your heart that the phones in the day room are just either too busy or broken and that he's not hurt or on lockdown, it's becoming obsessive about checking your mail and the heartsick feeling that comes over you when the letter you want so badly isn't there,it's about getting writers cramp and spending $20 a week on stamps and stationary, it's about dealing with either keeping it secret or dealing with disapproval of the relationship everywhere you turn and mostly it means living in a future you can't be sure of and that really does take a toll.
If I had a choice, I wouldn't do it, but I've loved the guy for over 20 years and I can't quit now...and I'm almost 40, so it's not as if I'm spending my youth dealing with the Dept.of Corrections...think carefully, Sweetie, it is a hard, hard thing to do and no guarantees.
2006-06-17 04:35:52
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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You don't say anything about why he's in prison, what relationship you had before he was incarcerated, what your friends or family think of him, why you love him, or what evidence you may have to believe he'll make a good husband.
So my advice is don't trust your heart, but wait and see. Don't make the decision to marry him until he is out and in a good job. Don't make the decision not to marry him until you have weighed the pros and cons (good and bad signs) and are convinced that he is not the right one to make those serious life-changing vows to at the wedding altar.
Most likely, you are too young and inexperienced to make this sort of decision on your own so definitely seek advice from older women, preferably mothers still married to their first husbands. And don't give in to pressure from him, his friends, your friends, etc.
In time, you will discover just what sort of person your "first love" really is, and if he is not a good man, you don't want to find that out after you marry him.
2006-06-13 07:15:26
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answer #2
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answered by im_a_fun_nut 4
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Take my advice and wait. I'm in the same situation with my first love. I've been with my fiance for 10 years now and we are not married yet. He is only asking you to marry him now, because he wants to make sure that you are completely committed to him while he's locked-up. When all and all when he gets out...he will have cold feet. Don't let him pressure you into getting married while he's locked-up. Just let him know that you do want to marry him, but not until he gets out....you deserve a beautiful wedding. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, but just as long as your wearing a wedding dress and your dad or whomever is walking you down that aisle. Believe me....if he loves you...he will wait.
2006-06-13 07:12:58
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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doesn't look like he is in much position to be marrying anyone but i think you know the answer to this question already. no you should not. assuming he is getting out at some point do you really want to go through life with someone who will have problems getting work because of his record as well as have someone who did whatever he did being an example for your kids? the fact that you said first love leads me to believe there have been others since him and that you weren't together when he did whatever he did. he is probably just wanting someone to latch on to because he is confined. all he has in there is time and he is probably just wanting someone "to be there" for him. it happens all the time. convicts write to people and promise them the world just to have something to do and feel like they aren't alone. find yourself someone who is there for you physically and mentally. don't get wrapped up in some con's web. leave your past where it needs to be............in the past.
2006-06-13 07:11:24
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answer #4
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answered by amyclay350 3
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This decesion is totally up to you follow your heart in what u think u want to do. Can u wait for him to get out? If so I would do it. I know someone that has done that and now her husband out of jail and there relationship is good.
2006-06-13 07:09:34
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answer #5
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answered by Queen P 2
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You can't be serious!? Hello, the guy is in prison!!! Not a cool dude to be hooking up with!!
Go find someone else!!!
Aloha!
2006-06-13 07:13:31
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answer #6
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answered by gabriel_demus 4
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Go ahead and marry him and regret it for the rest of your life.
Why on earth would anyone want to be with someone that you can't even be with?????
If you want to ruin your life, go for it.
2006-06-13 07:29:16
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answer #7
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answered by Simply Lovely 6
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RUN, your going to do what you want but somethings to think about. Why is he there, will he do it again, will he go back again? If this is his first time MAYBE give him a chance, if not RUN, FAR, FAR AWAY.
2006-06-13 07:13:31
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answer #8
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answered by Juice99_02 1
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If it's a question already then can you imagine when it's a question later?? Prision?? Come on, think about it, prision??
2006-06-13 09:21:36
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answer #9
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answered by joanna 2
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I say go for it!
Life with him sure looks promising!
2006-06-13 07:12:05
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answer #10
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answered by maxine553 2
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