What should a person do if they decide they don't want a relationship with their family anymore?

Question

I am talking about relatives, not spouses and their own children.

Answer 1

I probably wouldn't tell them in person but if it's because you don't like thier attitude or they way they talk to you then write them a nice letter or email saying that if they don't change then you would no longer like to be in contact with them until they change their attitude or whatever it is you want them to change

Answer 2

In my experience, it is certain behavior(s) of the offending person that is the problem. As it is very difficult to totally avoid relatives(thanks to weddings, funerals, birthday parties, Christmas, etc), it is best to learn to Set Boundries.

Boundry Setting

Basically, condition the other person must meet to communicate or have a relationship with you.

:" If, Then" boundries. This is where the relative know the consiquences for their actions. Ex. "IF you get drunk at my house again, THEN you will be asked to leave and not invited back." Or, IF you two (like a couple) break out in a fight in front of me with foul language, THEN I will leave, even during Thanksgiving dinner". The key is that you set the conditions, and if they cross the line, you MUST STICK WITH THE CONSEQUENCES.

next is "framing" the interaction with the relative. By "framing", I mean letting people know what you WILL and WILL NOT discuss. Ex, "I would like to talk to you how you are doing, and avoid hearing you opinion (badmouth) my brother." Or "I am unwilling to talk about the problems with your abusive boyfriend, so how are other aspects of your life doing?'

Remember, you might need to repeat the condition up to 3 times, as some people are very persistant in wanting to use people to feed their issues. Usually the most people will try to "suck you in" is 3 times. This is the broken record method. Just say "I hear/see/feel what you are saying, and (repeat your boundry)

Boundries come from a place of self respect for yourself, and when you do them, you are saying "I respect/love myself that I people will interact with me as I choose"

Answer 3

Stop talking to them..
Don't take thier calls. Change your number. When you move don't give them the address. Do not contact them yourself for any reason.
Of course this means not asking for anything either, but if you want to be left alone, thats what you have to do.
If you are living at home you might want to start by leaving!

Answer 4

Just stop contacting them. When they contact you, don't answer the phone or their email. Eventually they will get the hint and give up.

Answer 5

Move away, preferably to a different country