we've been together forever (8 years) and have a 3 three old little girl. The last 6 to 8 months of our relationship has been BS. i mean, we get into fights over nothing, and sometimes eevn in front of my baby girl. i love him, but i feel im not in love with him.. Ive told him over and over, but he says that I just sayning that because im MAD and that if i were to leave him, he'd make my life a living hell. Im a little scared of what hes capible of doing. on top of everything, I feel like im used to him. and im not the type to cheat onhim,,,,,any ideas on how to break up with a PSYCHO??
2006-06-13 06:17:06 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Brandy....
First of all.....you are subjecting your little girl to a hostile environment (the arguing). This is no good....you're little one will never forget this. Second of all, you have to do what's best for you as far as "throwing in the towel" and saying "ENOUGH!!".
If this guy threatens you.....go to court and seek a "restraining order" against the guy. This guy sounds like he's threatening you....and if so, go to your local police if this gets worse. Do not subject yourself to Mental/ Physical Abuse.
Please B safe --
Joe.
PS-- I cannot believe that there are men like this in this world.....makes me very sad and angry. Brandy, please pray for this guy...he's not well at all.
2006-06-13 06:25:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sincero 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, I find your question about rating you and go to your myspace and you say that you are solely with this guy and then BAM - you want to break up.
Today must be my BRUT day! LOL.
Try counseling, but that usually does not work.
Then make arrangements to leave. Go to parents, a girlfriends or find yourself an inexpensive efficiency to live in.
Then tell him, if he does not change - he will change b/c you will leave him. If he does not change, then leave.
Other tips:
First off, get rid of your marijauna myspace and anything that makes you look like a bad mother. Stop using it too. It lasts in your system for 30 - 40 days.
Tthink about your finances.
Speak to an attorney about getting custody/child support, many will give a free consultation. Just ask. Get a female one, you are just too damn good looking for a male attorney. Trust me on this, I am a male attorney.
Then, California has a court process to prevent stalking/harassment. Take advantage of it if he becomes a problem. Talk to his parents or siblings if you can to intervene.
As far as cheating - what will this solve? Unless, the guy is loaded and is willing to finance this break up, I would not recommend it.
Later on, stay away from guys that do not have children. Only a guy with kids will really be able to understand you and be a partner with you. The other guys will just want to f you.
I know because I was all of those guys, the lawyer, the boyfriend - no kids, a husband, a boyfriend with kids, etc. (except the psycho one - LOL).
Good luck.
2006-06-13 06:30:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend that when you do it... you know that you are totally and completely prepared and READY to do it. Even though he's a b/f and not a husband, I know that he is probably hard to leave as it sounds like he is threatening you and your physical safety. I also think you should know, that if you are breaking up with a PSYCHO then there is no going back to him because it is much worse when you do go back. He will be ten times worse then.
You first of all need to have the finances and the support to do it. Save money if you can. Do you know any friends or relatives who live in another state away who would be willing to put you up for about 3 weeks to help you get out and find a job and a place to live and get back on your feet?... There are plenty of jobs out there, just a matter of you stashing away a bit of cash for those three to four weeks, and driving off, getting out and doing it. And be strong!!
Next is that you may need an attorney advice if you can afford it, or go to a local woman's center for legal advice on how to work out the custody issues and a possible restraining order if you need one later. Many things to think about but first off, if you are being physically abused, keep a set of keys and copies of your documentation and some money (or a credit card) in your car hidden. Was the best thing I ever did and I'm happy to say I'm alive!! If you need more help, call the Domestic Violence Crisis Line while he is out, they can help give you more advice if you need it.
2006-06-13 06:35:11 · answer #3 · answered by Windsurfergirlinphx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly the best adivice I can give you is get out why you can. Situations like that can only go down hill from there. In the end situations like that always end violently and sometimes deadly. I've seen too many scenarios that are just like your case in which the couple are always arguing and sometimes over petty situations. I want you to get your stuff and get out while hes not there. Go somewhere where he'll never think you would be cause I promise you he will try to find and it wont be a good ending. So go to a friends house he dont know about. Dont go the obvious, your parents, brothers or sisters, or a bestfriend hide from him.
2006-06-13 06:31:04 · answer #4 · answered by bdjones_78 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar problem. What you have to do is sit down and talk to him calmly, never get upset or raise your voice, because it only gets worse. If he lives with you then let him know he needs to come and get his stuff and get out. Don't ever let him know that you are scared because they feed on that. If trouble comes out of the situation then don't be scared to pick up the phone and get him an escort (police). It's no reason you should live unhappy because a man don't want you to leave him. You have to do what's best for you and your daughter. I have to sons and I hate for them to be without there father but if I'm not happy they are not happy and the only way to keep them happy is for me to be happy, so he had to go. He said the same thing "I'm going to make your life a living hell" it didn't scare me then and it don't scare me now. He try to do what he call making my life a living hell but in the end he lose. So do what makes your heart happy. Live for you and not no one else, and take care of your daughter.
2006-06-13 06:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by sexy321love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep yourself and your daughter safe. Tell him straight off that you're sick with the way he's acting and that you're leaving him. If he threatens you again or tries to hurt you, leave the house with your daughter and use the neighbor's phone to call the police. You shouldn't stick around if your scared of him; it's not only you that you need to watch out for, it's for your daughter's sake too.
2006-06-13 06:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Macey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just leave. You don't know if he will make your life a living hell if you leave him. Maybe he thinks you don't have the guts to go, but inside you do.
If you continue to stay with him you will be unhappy and that is something you do not want.
It is important for you to be happy and for your girl to be happy too.
2006-06-13 06:25:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
911
2006-06-13 06:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by Imustknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way to break up with him is to act alittle wired around him.or just pick one of your best guyfriends and then say that he is your new boyfriend.
2006-06-13 11:45:46 · answer #9 · answered by pinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋