My parents have been divorced for 2-3 years now, but my mother just wont move out! My father received the house in the divorce-she got another home that is out of the country. I live on my own and visit on the weekends, my little bro n sis live at home (18 and 19 respectively). Sorry, but no one likes her. We avoid her at all costs and she spends most of her day in her room watching tv. My father sleeps on the couch-which is a disaster btw. My question is-should i get involved somehow? I would love nothing more than to get a lawyer and kick her out. She is currently violating the terms in the divorce-she was supposed to move out. My father isn't doing anything about it, and I doubt he would get a lawyer now (he represented himself) just to get her out of the house. We are all BEGGING him to kick her out (by we I mean all the children). Please give me your feedback. She's not a nice person.
2006-06-13 05:52:41 · 6 answers · asked by JLu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
haha-maybe if I tell him about the common law marriage he'll kick her out then!
As for the 'sit down and talk' answer. I guess I should've said that we've done that and my father concluded that he would get in contact with a lawer asap. He hasn't and I'm afraid he never will since he's a REALLY laid back guy(woodstock ring a bell?).
2006-06-13 06:08:28 · update #1
You need to watch out for the "common law" issue. Such as Tennesse does not acknowledge "common law." You are either married or your not!
An option most over looked is trying something like a pastoral counseling session, (or) call your local Exchange Club, YMCA, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, etc and see what, if any, programs they have to offer, (or) stop visiting your father and have your siblings boycot conversation, since he isnt listening to them anyway. If the communication in the household ceased someone would begin to pay attention. OR dont get involved. Ultimately, it isnt your relationship and someone else said it in another answer...there is a "reason." Try talking one on one with your dad and see if you can begin to understand the "whys" to what he is allowing to happen. Maybe he doesnt understand, imagine a man not understanding a woman!, that it hurts to have her there. Sometimes men get used to bickering and get numb to the pain. If you have done all that you can fathom, bow out! It is your life you are living and dont use it on worrying about someone else.
I had to use this tactic on my sister who is 2 years older than me. I needed to get her attention so I stopped talking to her. She is not 100% with the communication yet, but we do look forward to talking now. That, and we both learned something out of it.
Good luck on this one. It is especially tough when it is family. Especially good family! Pick the answer that best suites your personality. If you do something that you arent comfortable with you may make things worse. Be careful and think before you speak. There is hope. Maybe its not your dad you should be dealing with. Maybe you should be targeting you mother. Since she is more the problem here. Get a copy of the Final Divorce Decree and the Marital Dissolution Agreement, highlight the parts indicating where she is supposed to move and tape it to her door or better yet, her TV. That would deffinitely get my attention! Besides then you are using paperwork that she AGREED to.
But be careful when pushing things like "common law." Call an attorney and just ask about the laws in the state you are in. Or you can go to lexisnexis.com and look it up. Like I said that is not applicable in EVERY state!
Good luck!
2006-06-13 09:46:54 · answer #1 · answered by adarlin75 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey there is a reason why your father is not doing anything about your mother, why dont you sit with your father and all your sibling to talk about the condition, let everyone voice their opinion and their feeling, i hope all of you can reach a solution. Best of luck.
2006-06-13 06:04:20 · answer #2 · answered by BelleVie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it. If and when your father wants her out bad enough then he will do something about it. Never get involved in other people's problems.
2006-06-13 06:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's awesome that you love your dad enough to want to get involved.
Have you asked him why he won't kick her out? Maybe there is a reason??
If it's that he doesn't have the heart to do it, then maybe you should try to convince her to go AND THEN if that doesn't work, have the cops drag her butt out the door.
Good Luck!!
Aloha!
2006-06-13 05:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its his ultimate decision but if she stays its common law and they are already remarried in the eyes of the law.
2006-06-13 06:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very sad, ask your father and take appropriate action.
2006-06-13 06:10:36 · answer #6 · answered by ag_iitkgp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋