My friend will not hold a steady job, instead he cleans SOMETIMES and sponges off of his friends and family. He doesn't see it this way, however. He justifies it all in his mind. I am losing all respect for him but I don't want to. How do I help him?
2006-06-13 05:36:56 · 14 answers · asked by LotsOfQuestions 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Being a real friend sometimes means telling them the truths they don't want to hear.
Tell it like it is, but make sure you have your facts correct and that he knows you're doing it because you care.
Some people won't change and you can't make them.
2006-06-13 05:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by parsonsel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to really tell him. It's really up to the people that are allowing him to take advantage of them to stop letting it happen. If it really bothers you that much, then take a look at how much you really want to be friends with that person. If it's something you can deal with, then you need to just accept that this is how he is, but don't let yourself get taken advantage of.
But. I agree with you. That person should get off his behind and get a job, an apartment, and a life of his own.
2006-06-13 12:42:40 · answer #2 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really is a great guy, sit down and talk to him in a non-threatening way and tell him exactly how you feel. He does need a steady job, and he needs to contribute more if he is to continue living at home.
2006-06-13 12:42:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jack Nicholson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get the point across, until he SEES it the way you do. So put your effort in explaining to him, what he is doing. Take pen and paper and a calculator and do the math and show him, how is is sponing off others - once he sees that - then you can go about showing him, why that is not the right thing to do.....
2006-06-13 12:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by retard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him,"Hey--What would you do if your MOM wasn't around anymore?"....."If I really am your FRIEND--I'll tell you the TRUTH!"...If he continues BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE--He is NOT worth your time!!!...He is very spoiled and in for a rude awakening down the road...You can't live your life at the expense of others...And shame on his Mom for not saying NO. She basically has made him into a "social vegetable"...Again,if he respects you,he'll listen...If not,he is using YOU,too....snoopy
2006-06-13 12:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by snoopyyoukingcaptain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's really your friend you need to leave it alone. It's his Moms' place if he's sponging off her. When shes had enuf she'll tell him. You don't keep friends by humiliating them when you don't have to. If he's sponging off you too, just say no
2006-06-13 12:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by Alice G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to do my ex bf was doing that to me at first he cleaned all the time and dinner would be made then it stopped when he left my house was a mess i was so pissed i had wished i told him to get off his a$$ sooner and do for me instead of me doing for him.. GOOD RIDDANCE..
2006-06-13 12:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by mmmgirl62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he needs to get off his lazy butt and get a job, a REAL job and be independent. No woman wants a bum!
2006-06-13 12:40:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the truth - tell him he is being lazy and needs to grow up and live in the real world. do not ever loan him money buy him lunch or drive him anywhere unless he pays his own way - he is a moocher and he will not learn if you continue to enable him!!!
2006-06-13 12:41:16 · answer #9 · answered by Shopaholic Chick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Live and let live. His unemployment only hurts him and his mom, and it is frankly none of your business. If you lose respect for him, so what? Perhaps he's not deserving.
2006-06-13 12:40:31 · answer #10 · answered by answer gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋