my parents are divorced and i HATE my step dad....?

Question

my mom didn't even tell me, my brother and sister wen she married him and they were never engaged; it was just a spur of the moment thing. They lived together for 6 months before they got married. He is very mean to my brother (physically) and has tremendosly hurt me and my sister emotionally. he had turned my mother into a huge hipocrit and they cuss all the time. she was the perfect mother before she married him. what can i do to try to make things better (support groups, someone to talk to, etc.)??

Answer 1

Wow. That sounds a lot like my mother. She married my stepdad without telling me and they werent together that long either. My stepdad can be a real jerk and he seems to be real strict and uptight.
Have you tried talking to your mother about how you feel and the things that have happened? You could tell your mother "Mom, I love you and I need to talk to you about how Im feeling towards (his name here)" Let her know what you've observed and how you feel. I know that it hurts a lot because here is a divorce and you had to adjust to that and everything else in your life and then your mom does this major thing like getting married without any preparation on your part and its hurtful because its a big change in your life and you are blind sided. If you need someone to talk to you can email me Ive been through this and Im still healing from it and it was almost 5 years ago. Hang in there!
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Answer 2

First off you need to talk to your mother, alone. Don't do it when he's around. If that dosn't solve the problem then let your dad know. If that still dosn't help then talk to a school councler or social services. Also don't stand by when he's abusive. I take it your an older sibling, if he become's physicly abusive again, call the police. If you need someone to talk to go ahead and contact me from my profile. I also had a stepdad that was abusive toward me but I only had a month after my parents split to get used to him before my mom married him. Thankfully, once I let my dad know what was happening it stopped imideatly and I ended up moving in with my dad and step mom (she's another story).

Answer 3

You need to speak to someone, a counselor or teacher at school, an adult you trust, maybe aunt/uncle. You need to make sure you and your brothers/sisters get out of that abusive relationship. You don't say your age so I'm not sure if maybe Child protective services can step in. It's frustrating when mothers tolerate so much abuse to themselves and there families. Tell someone sweetie, it will be for the best.

Answer 4

Start with your mother, separate and away from him, preferably when he isnt in the house and tell her everything. If he abusive, your mother should be aware and put a stop to it. You, as her children should always come first. She is entitled to her own life but not at the expense of her children's suffering. If you dont like him, just cuz type thing, that is different. Your mother's happiness should come first and you put your feelings aside so that everyone can can along. Good luck.

Answer 5

It sounds like you have gotten some good advice from others. It is a big step for all involved and may take some time, possibly a few years for everything to settle down into a family situation. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Talk to your father. Get him to speak to a lawyer and see if you all can live with your Dad instead of your Mom. If he leaves marks on your brother, call the cops. Tell adults at your school or a friend's parents.

Answer 7

Try talking with your school counselor or the pastor or a counselor at church. There are also several ministries and churches that offer support groups and information

Answer 8

you should try and talk to your mother about this or tell a relative this is REALLLLLYurgent -not good. i HATE to sy this if he hurt your brothe physically tell police answering 'cause i Hate mine tooo

Answer 9

If he physically abuses your brother again --- go call the police!