and so many of his friends and mine.i want to call it quits but cannot be able coz of the embarassment and shame.but trully i dont love him.i dont know how pple will take me and am worried to hurt my family who loves him very much.i feel like running away to another part of the world where nobody knows.i wonder what i have been doing with him for the past 5 years.he does not know this and believes i still love him. i know i will hurt him bad coz at his age he want to settle down.he have really helped with my education by paying my fees and i feel terrible if i leave him.his behaviours can tell that he is careless and does not care about my emotions he cares for his friends more than me and this leaves me feeling so unloved.so i figure if i marry him it might be terrible but he claims am the one who is nagging with petty issues. where do i run to and hide?
2006-06-13 04:58:03 · 7 answers · asked by mimi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
unfortunately, you cant just run and hide form this one..this is one situation that needs to be faced. if you dont love him, why get married? i know going through the embarrassment and shame is going to hurt, but would you rather hurt for a short time in your life (the break up) or hurt/misery for the rest of your life (go through with the marriage/divorce/kids/ further emotional abuse etc. of someone that you dont want to be with)?
in this case you have got to look out for you and your feelings first! your family and friends are not going to be with your possible hubby day and night like you will be...yeah they love him and all of that but YOU are the one who will be married to him, not them...
stand up, be strong and face the music, in the long run you will save yourself alot of heartache and grief and it will be worth it...
2006-06-13 05:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to run or hide you have not committed a crime at all! Just be open and honest with him tell him what you wrote here and as for the money he spend on you that you should pay back since your breaking up that will not be good! If you can not pay it all at once pay him in little at a time! But make sure you get that in writing cuz he can take you to little claims court keep that in mind! If after telling him the truth if he wants to give it another try i mean if he is willing to change for you than its your call again.
Over all don't feel guilty about anything tell your family first before you break the news to him. You need your families support, they should be on your side!
I hope you all the best!
2006-06-13 22:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sweetie. Don't run because it's to easy to runaway. And don't feel guility about him paying for this and that. you where in need and he stepped up to the plate. That doesn't give him the right to say HEY I did this so your being a selfish *****. Well he might say that but it's not true.
Talk to your mom if you guys have a good relationship and tell her how you feel.
Get some counselling or talk to your priest or doctor about this because you will be unhappy for the rest of your life, unloved and end up depressed and fat.
Trust me.... I am......
Honey you don't need this ok. My husband is 11 years old then me. He paid for everything. Put me through college and did is all but he was unloving and awful. I felt obligated to marry him and have kids. My family loved him I felt I had already been divorced once, I could not do this to my family.
Now
12 years later I am fat, depressed and thinking why did I ruin my life. It's too late for me love but not for you.
2006-06-13 05:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by moonspawnhotmailcom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are common for someone who has been in a long term relationship and knows the next step is walking down the isle.
Remember, marriage is NOT based solely on love! Its a mistake to think one will LOVE someone else everyday for the next 30yrs! People make this mistake all the time. That's why divorce rates are sky high.
My suggestion would be to take a vacation w/o him.
2006-06-13 05:08:11 · answer #4 · answered by El Griton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I in what you have writter,and what I, have read, all I can say is you have answered your owne questions.to marry out of obligation.would be a big mistake,which would only end up in divorse.sounds to like hes not ready yet.we all hafto have friends,and good friends understand,that when to people start a marrage,things change.but dose not mean the end of the friendship you to have with them.commutation is the most important thing to a suessfull marrage.without it there is no future good luck paul.
2006-06-13 05:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by lonely1still 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't run, and certainly do not hide. Read your question out loud to yourself. You don't love him, he doesn't treat you right, he cares more about his friends than you, and you are not happy. If you marry him you will find true misery. Walk away from this relationship. Everyone will get over it, and you can have a chance at happiness.
2006-06-13 05:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u dont love him like you usedto then u should break up with him. u cant help the way that you feel and nobody can change ur feelings. do what you think is best. lots of luck
2006-06-13 05:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋