If you are married for 12 years and you find some old love letters and cards from your wifes old boy freind?

Question

and only 1 card from you, should you throw them out without bringing it up? Why would she still have them around after 12 years and 2 kids?

Answer 1

you really shouldn't worry about that... women save that kind of crap.... it doesnt mean that we still love that person....its just sentimental value.... beleive itor not your wife had a life before you, and those are just her memories.... you cant take that away from her, and i dont know why you would want to, everything before you met brought her to you and you to her.... yea she might have some old love letters, but shes been married to you for 12 years, not the guy who wrote them.... he is of no threat to you

Answer 2

Well, you should be honest about reading the letters. Tell her you found them and that you didn't mean to be sneaky but curiosity got the best of you. If you don't tell her, you might end up having feelings of resentment. You shouldn't worry about her holding on to the letters though. We do that. She is married to you and obviously you two can make it work after 12 years and 2 kids. Don't throw them away, you will be destroying her personal property and that would hurt your relationship. All in all, just be honest with her.

Answer 3

After 12 years & 2 kids, I can understand being hurt by finding these things. However, throwing them out w/o talking about them doesn't give her a chance to tell you why she kept them. I know I don't know the circumstances, but it's very possible that she forgot she had them. Try to talk to her, but do it in such a way that shows how HURT/DISAPPOINTED you are that only 1 of yours was kept, rather than in anger/jealousy. She is with you now, so find comfort in that. If you talk to her, I'm sure you'll find an acceptable reason for her having them. The reason may even be silly, such as she forgot, but give her the chance to explain.

Answer 4

Hang on - she's kept these few mementos of an old love in a box somewhere? And you are the real live human being she chose to love for the rest of her life, spend every day with, make a home and have babies with, and whose wedding ring she wears? What's wrong with you? Can't see a good thing when you have it? And you're considering throwing them out without even talking to her about your feelings? I think your lack of faith is a bigger problem than a bunch of old letters.

Answer 5

My husband had the same issue but with a picture, one picture of a ex to his hundreds of pictures. He felt that he should just get rid of it without saying anything. When I found out I was very upset. First because he was sneaking around and also because it was the only pic I had of this person and he is a friend of ours. My husband had nothing to worry about it was just a pic and we have been married for almost 7years and live in a different state than my ex. I would just leave it alone because she is apparently in love with you and not her ex or she would be married to him for 12 years and not you. Instead go tell her you love her!

Answer 6

You should talk to her about them. Maybe she completely forgot about them, or maybe she has some other reason to keep them around. It is better to talk about them and then you know. If you just throw them away and never discuss them than it leaves your mind to wondering what they were there for.

And when you talk about them, make sure you do it in an open way... don't just throw them on the ground in front of her and start yelling or anything awful like that. If you do, you won't be able to have any kind of meaningful conversation. (sorry to say this if it is completely not your style to be this way, because I don't know at all to know).

Answer 7

No, they are her personal property and they remind her of good memories from a part of her life before you entered it. Her life before is not a threat to you or the children. Why would you throw them out????? Do you not have confidence in your life with her now???? I still have the cards and flowers pressed in my book from high school and the memories remind me of a special time in my life that have nothing to do with my current life. Why don't you just throw out everything, declare yourself the winner and divorce her for having feelings and a life before you came on the scene.

Answer 8

I'm assuming the old boyfriend was from before she married you. Relax. It's in the past. She married you after all. He may have meant something special to her at one time but apparently you're the one who got her heart.

Answer 9

NO dont throw them out!!!! It doesnt mean anything. Ppl have memories that's al this is likely. Girls are very sentimental, they love remembering everthing good or bad. Obviously she loved YOU cuz she married and had 2 kids with you. Quite being so jealous, KKKK????

Answer 10

Don't throw them out! Women are sentimental, and obviously this person meant a lot to her at one time. He is not a threat to you. Are your memories a threat to your wife? You could do a lot of damage to your relationship by destroying her memories.

Answer 11

letters are like songs, they bring back memories or good times. you should not worry about it. especially since we (women) love to keep EVERYTHING..lol.

Maybe your letters and card are stashed away in another pile, you dont know that.

YOu should not trow away her stuff. Its hers, and you have no right to trow it away. Respect her things. And dont worry about what it might mean, cause it does not mean anything. I keep all my old letters too.