my wife is with me right now, and she is asking this question. we had problems with out marriage and its all me i know that, i think about sex alot. the questions shes asking is " how do i trust my husband again?" my wife found a txt message a sent to another girl on my cell fone. she was pissed off but i told her we just txt on instant message. we went to marriage therapist. 2 months passed and we are doing good. she forgives me cause she loves me. i love her too. she just doesnt trusts me and she wants to again, but she doesnt know how.
2006-06-13 04:34:05 · 13 answers · asked by STRYKE_POINTE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my wife is with me right now, and she is asking this question. we had problems with out marriage and its all me i know that, i think about sex alot. the questions shes asking is " how do i trust my husband again?" my wife found a txt message a sent to another girl on my cell fone. she was pissed off but i told her we just txt on instant message. we went to marriage therapist. 2 months passed and we are doing good. she forgives me cause she loves me. i love her too. she just doesnt trusts me and she wants to again, but she doesnt know how. ****what advice would you give me. and what advice would u give her.****
2006-06-13 04:50:54 · update #1
I am going through that very thing right now . My husband ran up a cell phone bill by more than $300 to a secret female friend . His reasoning was "i wouldn't understand" I am the most liberal minded person in the world and he has many female friends. this went way too far. They spoke at all hours of the day and night just NOT when I was around. It never became an intimate contact type of thing however it may as well have been. My trust was betrayed and I found out by accident. It would still be happening today had I not done so. He gets angry when I bring it up but she was taking my place. WE have been married for 13 years and together for 17. I go to work and come home and devote my life to my family and Him. I am semi-attractive ,keep myself in great shape so it's nothing like that. I don't get what i did to mislead him ---actually I didn't. He had nothing to do with me for a long time and I told him about it over and over and continue to do so. My line of communication has remained open he has just been the stubborn *** that looks out for only himself it is the selfish way of the man. My advice is to be less selfish and treat a wife like a lady with the respect and dignity that she deserves and she will give back ten fold.
2006-06-13 10:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by chris B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only time can build up trust between two people. You violated that trust bond you previously had and now she may be insecure and doubting herself for what you did. For her she has to realize what makes her happy, if she truly forgives you then she can do nothing but start over and start from scratch to gain that trust back. You have to be honest with yourself and her about everything becuz she is your better half and vice versa you should do for her before yourself and she do the same for you without asking. Make her feel special at all times no matter what.
2006-06-13 04:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by "Red" 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard and if she ever trusts you again it will take her a long time to get to that point. I was in the same situation with my husband and it happened about 2 1/2 years ago and I can't say that I fully trust him. Once the trust is lost it is very hard to get it back, and your wife may NEVER trust you again.
2006-06-13 04:45:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It says whatever about their character once they regularly lied to the character that they're closest to. Marriage is rough adequate however when one individual is always lying, it's so so much worse. I feel you might have got to look at the whole picture right here to make this choice. I'd have the opportunity to get this individual some legitimate aid so the marriage might stay collectively. There's a rationale for all of the lies and also you have to explore that. I would now not stop so effortlessly just becasue of lying.
2016-08-08 22:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust is voilated it's so hard to get it back. See we women give our all and when we get screwedwe hurt Imean really hurt. I went throughsomething like that with my fiance' and there are still some trust issues that I go through but day by day it gets better. See most women already have trust issues and don't even know it something from our childhood or our past and when we give our trust it's sacred and when it's violated it takes a while to get it back. You have to go through the process of earning it back as you earned it from the begining,
I mean if your woman is worth it see it wasn't her who lost your trust but you lost her and you have to earn it back! So it takes time, paitence and consistancy, most of all honesty!
2006-06-13 05:00:12 · answer #5 · answered by Danette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once I have been screwed over I NEVER trust the other person again. That is just because I have found as soon as you start trusting them again they turn right around and ***** you over again. I do not believe in 2ed, 3rd, 4th, so on chances. Once trust is gone with me, it is gone for good. Just because I "get along" with someone doesn't mean that I trust them or that I am "over" what they have done.
2006-06-20 11:47:33 · answer #6 · answered by ^v^ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will take YEARS of you showing her you are trustworthy. My husband lied extensively to me for many years, never cheated or anything like that, but lied. I do not trust him now, and will never trust him -- but he hasn't done anything to rebuild my trust. YOU will have to work at earning her trust again. Or, hire an attorney now and get the divorce over with.
2006-06-13 04:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will tell u that she won't have that trust in u probably ever again cause once u recieve a message she knows u cheated on her and even though u went through theraphy it nevers is the same again after u cheated on her.
2006-06-15 10:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by momofthesouth2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I JUST DEALT WITH THIS WITH MY HUSBAND AND THAT DAM TEXT MESSAGING THING TOO. HIS WAS A NAKED PICTURE OF CHICK SO I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.....YOU CAN TRUST HIM AGAIN. IT WILL HAPPEN. DONT TRY PUTTING A TIME LIMIT ON IT. TRY NOT TO DRIVE YOUR SELF NUTS EVERYTIME HIS PHONE RINGS. JUST PUT IT OUT OF YOUR MIND. AND YOU DEAR HUSBAND, ITS GONNA TAKE TIME. DONT RUN TO THE BATHROOM WHEN YOUR PHONE RINGS EVEN IF ITS YOUR MOMMA. YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR WIFES MIND AT EASE. YOU NEED TO QUIT THE SEX CRAP WITH OTHER GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT. YALL READ SOME OF MY PAST ANSWERS MAYBE IT WILL HELP. YA'LL JUST DONT GIVE UP ON EACH OTHER. SCOTT AND I WORKED IT OUT. YALL CAN TOO.
2006-06-13 04:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by chevy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you earn it back, be honest in everything you do, check in, sacrafice going out with the guys. do whatever it takes. you have to suffer the consequences for your actions. you do whatever she asks, with out giving any lip about it. suck it up. and continue to go to counseling. she will be hurt and angry with you for awhile. start going to church, the only way this can work is if GOD is the foundation in your own lives and the marriage. A family that prays together stays together. (its true)
2006-06-13 04:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋