My husband is the greatest, we have a really nice relationship. We have been married for 6 years and I am ready to have a baby, but he is not. He is scared he will loose me, loose what we have. Is there any book that would help my husband out with this issue? I mean he wants to have kids eventually, but not now. I can not wait though, I have been waiting a long time.
2006-06-13 03:48:27 · 11 answers · asked by my name is what? 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
No one is ever ready for a baby, it just happens, or it's planned by the wife and husband, but let me tell you this, I got married in jan of 1998, I found out I was pregnant by August of that year, not only was a pregnant I was 3 months pregnant, and I had our first daughter the following year (1999) in april, we did not have a lot of time alone together, but when our daughter was born, it changed everything, but not for the worse, for the better, we had never been so happy, and we still are and we have two girls, and they are 7 and 4 and nothing gets any better than bringing more people into the family to share the love my husband and I have for one another than with our children. Your husband needs to understand that not only is your biological clock ticking his is as well, as men get older, sperm because useless, and unfertle. And, the longer he makes you wait, the harder it's going to be for you both to have a baby.
2006-06-13 03:58:12 · answer #1 · answered by farside76 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hey there is a site called fatherville.com this may help him. Most men have the very same phobeia as he does. In most cases the baby will take you away from him. The baby will be the center of all your attention. For men that is hard to accept. BUt they are also a joy to have. Trying to reassure him will be a lie from the beginning. I have four and the first one took all my time and my husband was put on the back burner. He went to bed many nights without me. And often I was to tired after handling the baby to have us time. But, you learn and grow with time. After the first one we knew how to work things so we were able to have the us time we needed. He has to know that even though baby takes presidence, he is still at the top of your list and that you and he together can spread yourselves equally between baby and each other.
2006-06-13 11:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by lashenica j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll want to wait. You may regret it later on if you don't wait until you are BOTH ready. Don't pressure him.
I completely agree with getting more information for your husband but the fact is he is kinda right...baby will become the 1st priority and he will lose you, a little. Also, everything will change so what you have now, the life, the love everything will change with it. Wait until he can accept that and understand it as a GOOD thing, not a bad thing.
2006-06-13 10:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This concept of "loosing you" for the simple fact that you take the next (logical) step in a marriage is baffling.
You don't have baby issues, or "ready" issues, or book issues, you have marriage issues. Talk to somebody about trust issues, intimacy, divorce and whatever else he's thinking. It's not his problem, it's YOUR marriage problem. Handle it like a team.
2006-06-13 10:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by MK6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him if you dont have a baby soon he will lose you....you cant wait forever to have children and if you've been married for 6 years and dont have any then i would say the two of you have had more than enough time to play. dont pressure him into it but reassure him that he wont lose you when you have a baby....tell him it will help the two of you become closer in a different way you never could before.
2006-06-13 10:53:09 · answer #5 · answered by gaigesmommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that could work is being around children. Maybe take him to a clinic or a children's wing of a hospital! Many men just don't realize how great children are. I don't know if a book would help that situation.
2006-06-13 10:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by gonnabeateacher2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to explain to him that the longer he waits he will loose anyway. if he thinks he will loose because of a child being born. then he is really going to loose you by continously putting this off.
2006-06-13 10:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by KIRA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read Created to be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.
2006-06-13 10:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by nyotauhuru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to a birthing class. he may just be fearing change, and actually getting involved with a group of "soon to be parents" may take the fear out of it a bit for him (it also may plant that seed of enthusiasm, by feeling left out)..You don't have to be pregnant to attend if you pay, you go.
2006-06-13 10:57:15 · answer #9 · answered by micki_g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel about it tell him you are ready and you know he is too. make him feel relaxed about it. it will come together
2006-06-13 10:53:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋