My "ex" cheated on me repeatedly and I kept taking her back. should i drop her?

Question

Does that make me an idiot? she had some serious problems in her childhood (abuse, neglect, etc) so I always thought that her issues with me were related to that. I guess i kept trying to "save" her and hope that one day she would quit cheating. she even had other full blown relationships. she told me that she has a personality disorder, and i believe it because sometimes she would do things that were totally not her(like eat food she hated, talk in a different accent, refer to herself by a dif. name)
i really love her but i dont want to be cheated on all the time either.

thanks, you guys are all helpful. i know it seems like a "duh" kind of answer, but like that one person said when you are in love its hard to see the obvious. i guess i just needed a bunch of strangers to help me see it. thanks again for all your words.

Answer 1

do you need a house to fall on you

Answer 2

Your not an idiot, but your self esteem must be very low. Just because you love her doesn't mean you should allow her to hurt you and cheat on you. She may have a personality disorder in which case she should seek help, but that isn't your problem. She may just be the kind of person who can never totally commit. Its time to let her go and put your life back together. Maybe when she can see that you are moving on she'll decide to get help and things will work out at a later time. For now you need to be good to yourself for a change.

Answer 3

sounds like she does really good at pulling the wool over your eyes. trust just cause she throws on an accent doesn't make her a different person. If she has had issues growing up that will affect her relationships then she needs to talk to someone and get help on working threw them. Without doing that she will never get past her issues she has she won't just grow out of it and you can make her do it. And if she is having full blown relationships then she knows good and well what she is doing. People with multiple personalities don't just have different lives that they live at give in moments, their personalities are intertwine. So don't let her fool you anymore, if you really feel she is mentally ill get her help and makes sure she really gets help. And go to a session with her see what the doctors say, she might be fine just a really good actor.

Answer 4

Look once a cheat always a cheat and if she keeps doing it then she's not sorry I wouldn't call you an idiot just a man in love but you can't keep putting your self through you have to make some decisions is this how you want to live your life and also consider you don't cheat so why settle for it. It's women like that that give honest women a bad name here it is most women wish their guys were faithful and she has one and doesn't know what to do with it. Think of your sanity first OK.

Answer 5

Why do you keep taking her back ? This does not make you an idiot it just means that you are gullible and loving and forgiving. She needs to get help for her personality disorder and maybe even be on medication as well. She may very well have a split personalitly as well and this may be ther reason she has done all these crazy things that seem weird. If you love her stick by her but also get her the help that she needs and if she needs medication make sure she is on it. I see that she is your ex but you can still be friends with her and try to help her.

Answer 6

I hope you also considered that the abuse neglect etc may have left her with problems that only she can work through? She needs counseling to help her find out why she acts out in this way. Talking in a different accent and calling herself by different names sounds like a real mental illness. I would encourage her to be admitted for evaluation at a psyche facility.
You need to focus on finding your self esteem so you can know what you truly want in life. No one deserves to have to live with a cheater.

Answer 7

You cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved. It is sad what happend in her childhood, but she is an adult now and needs to take responsibility for her actions. She cheats because she has an emptiness inside her and is hoping to fill it. No one can fill it but her. Until she figures that out, she is always going to cheat. Save yourself a lot of heartache and move on.

Answer 8

WAKE UP, DUDE!!! You are being used and played. You can learn to love yourself more than your cheating girlfriend. Try finding someone who really deserves your love and affection and tell this one to hit the road. She will never change and you can't trust her. You want to live your life with someone like that? Do you deserve that? You can do alot better. She's simply using you when she's between boyfriends. Send her packing for good!

Answer 9

Even though she was abused doesn't mean you have to feel sorry for her! My boyfriend cheated on me three times I just dropped him in a flash as soon as I found out, if sh cheated on you i would drop her. Trust me I don't even know you but I would say you could do a whole lot better!

Answer 10

Let me guess, they wrote a song about you, "Cathy's Clown", right? You certainly do stand up to her!
If she is hurting you, perhaps you should set it down and DO NOT start a new relationship until you have grown a spine....helps us walk upright with head held high. Try it , the weather is fine up here.

Answer 11

Unfortunately, the answer is - quit her..
She is like a bad habit to your. By taking her back, you encourage her to keep doing it. She needs to learn that there are consequences when she hurts people’s feelings.
I have a boyfriend who had depression, but I never let him blame everything on his condition. Our relationship is much better that way.