I have been married for 13 years now and have never been able to make her happy. I have tried to give her everything she wants, but it does not work. She seems happy when she is with friends and family, but not with me. I have brought it up a few times, but she becomes defeinsive and I do not know what to do. We have two wonderful kids that we enjoy being around and that makes it tough, if it were not for them, I would have moved on by now. I do look for happiness in other places through work and other realtionships and that helps out a lot. Any suggestions?
2006-06-13 02:37:09 · 13 answers · asked by Jon B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take the kids to gramdmas or ???
Make her dinner, (choose her favorite that you can bake in the oven) when she comes home have candles burning all over the house (the bathroom too), her favorite music playing, tub of water waiting with chilled wine & glasses, a vase with a single rose and a card that expresses how you feel about her...start off slow, give her light kisses as you finish preparing dinner & pop it in the oven...take the initiative, take her hand...take a bath together & drink the wine, soap each other, kiss her passionately, touch and taste her body, pleasure her...make love all over the house.
Next renedezvou....tell her you have a surprise for her....take her outdoors in a secluded area...don't forget your blanket...
As you spend more special adventures together and regain sexual excitement, both of you will look forward to spending more time together with passion and romance.
Remember to smile.
2006-06-13 03:12:41 · answer #1 · answered by sadie_oyes 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey there - sounds like you need some marriage counseling.
Trust me, I "was" your wife for many years. Too many kids too fast, feeling trapped in my situation when I wanted to run off and be free, feeling that my husband was dragging me down ... all those feelings built up over 5 years and by the time we finally did go to counseling together things were pretty bad.
I thought the situation was hopeless, unsalvageable, a complete train wreck. That I just didn't love him any more. But I was wrong. The counseling helped us discover what had been wrong - and we both worked together to reinvest in each other and the relationship ... first for the kids, then we were surprised to discover we still really wanted to be together.
Do you think your wife would go? It took us a year of weekly therapy, but now things are much better. Not perfect, but no marriage is.
Just do yourself a favor, and don't go looking for happiness through other relationships with women. It might be tempting, but it won't make you feel better for long.
Good luck... sounds like you really love here, and that's half the battle.
2006-06-13 10:21:14 · answer #2 · answered by katielevitt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you cant "make" someone happy either they are happy with you or there not. If you have Never been able to make her happy then you need to ask yourself what am I getting out of this marriage..If the communication is dead and cant be revived and you really have no clue of why your wife is unhappy then its not you its her. If someone is unhappy with you then its their own individual reasons and the only thing you can do is to think about your options. Staying in a marriage just for the kids doesn't help anybody because you are unhappy and your subconsciously not giving your kids the best father they could have. Think about your life and how long you want to continue living like this.....
2006-06-13 10:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by summer_dante 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like u have tryed alot to make her happy. glad u r trying.
there must b some thing wrong with her life in other areas either in her chiled hood or in the prestent that she is trying to deal with, and u trying to talk to her and figure out how to relate w/ her and how to help her is a great idea but u need to b able to have her open up and tell u what is going on or how u can help her feel loved more. what things does she like to do? where does she like to go? if u do things with her as much as u can then mabey she will talkto u more openly bc she knows that u r interested in her life and in her happyness. spening time w/ her is a great way to show her that she is important. if she wants a little time to her self then let her, dont push her to tell u. she will talk to u when she is ready. try it
2006-06-13 10:02:32 · answer #4 · answered by basketballchic575 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your wife depressed and down about things? Why is she so unhappy and down? Does she have low self esteem about herself and the marriage. I feel that you need to strive to understand her and help her to get past this and maybe even marriage counseling with her. I hope you are not being unfaitful and cheating on her. If you have this could be alot of the reason she is so unhappy and sad if you have hurt her heart. I would like to talk with both of you if i could. There has to be a reason why she is so unhappy. Try romancing her and doing things with her that she likes to do. Spoil her rotten and treat her like a queen. Talk to her too and see where she is coming from .
2006-06-13 10:58:36 · answer #5 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the children with elderly people and go for a tour (only you two). Remember your marriage days. Once again become younger. Go back to 13 years. Spend like this once or twice a year.
2006-06-13 10:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by K N Swamy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you been to counselling? perhaps a counsellor can draw her out as to why she behave that way. Was it always like this from day one? Is this a mariage of convenience ? or a ticket meal for her ? Material things does not constitue love. Don't stay in a loveless relationship for the sake of the kids.It's not healthy , the kids might not understand but they can feel the relationship between the two of you.
2006-06-13 09:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by sstooc2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all,dear,NEVER try to give her whatever she wants.Be reasonable and i believe that you've spoilt her a bit.Besides she's not as unhappy as you think she is with you.Does she take care of your kids properly?Laundry?Household work?She's happy.That's why she's still there for you.The problem is not with her,but with you,dear.NEVER compare yourself with others,and remember that you are her spouse and the same old soup!Have confidence in yourself,when she's with friends happily chatting away,why don't you call up your own too?Do you have friends?Keep yourself busy and don't keep checking on her feelings as long as your den is well kept and neglect this issue for a week and see.Trust me..Act smart.She'll love you even more!
2006-06-13 09:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by mary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I was going to say talk to her and try to be her best friend but as a girl, we like to work for our man's attention every now and then. "Nice guys finish last". Even though every girl will tell you she wants the nice guy, she's more attracted to the a hole everytime. Maybe if you try acting distant or differently she will be intrigued and start respecting you more and feel like you are keeping her on her toes. I know it sounds stupid, but hey, it's worth a shot for at least 3 days, try it. Everyone likes a little mystery right.
2006-06-13 09:56:05 · answer #9 · answered by Jersey Style 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is happy with you, Judging on my own problems, My husband is always saying why am I not happy? It drives me nuts. Giving her what she always want isn't the answer either. Just being their for her and holding her when she is depress is the biggest thing. Try and make one day just for her. Not on her b-day/v-day. Just spend time and enjoy her.
2006-06-13 10:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by LA LA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋