I found out last night that my fiance has been inviting girls over when I'm at work or out with friends and he's been talking to everyone but me about wanting to leave. We have an 8 month old daughter but last night when I found all this out I decided the best thing to do was end the relationship. What should I do now? Is my daughter going to hate me when she grows up? I'm so scared that without him I'll never find anyone new, I don't even know where to start, what should I do next with my life?
2006-06-13 01:49:07 · 14 answers · asked by A.Marie 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What a horrible way to find out about something like this. No, your daughter won't hate you. Think about raising her in a family where she would never having the security of knowing whether or not her father was really going to be around. She and her father can still be a part of each others lives, just this way she will know where she stands. You will meet someone who will be there for you and your daughter. He will pop into your life when you least expect it. Trust me on this. This is how life works. Good luck.
2006-06-13 01:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by curious 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
#1 Your daughter definitely won't hate you. You are taking her out of a bad environment. So that is a great thing. #2. You made a ery smart decision, you need someone who is going to love and respect you not cheat and lie to you. There are tons of people out there who are in similar situations and just because you have a child doesn't mean your scarred for life and no one will want to be with you. My current boyfriend has a daughter and I thought that I would never date someone with kids however he is such an amazing man I am willing to forgo that and love his daughter with all my heart. The most important thing is your daughter. I would probably look into seeing a counselor who can help you transition your life thru this very stressful time. Be strong you made the right decision!!!
2006-06-13 01:57:32 · answer #2 · answered by J L 76 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this must really have you in a state of shock and disbelief right now. I feel really bad for you. If he does not love you however then let him leave... Good ridance. Your daughter will not hate you when she grows up trust me. You will find someone someday just give it time and dont feel that you never will. You need to slow down and breathe and find a counselor or therapist or someone to talk to and help to start healing from the pain and suffering this is causing you. Do leave him however and get out and sort things out slowly over time then go from there. If you need to talk i am here!
2006-06-13 02:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you will find someone else my best friend has twins and is in a happy relationship, my sister had her baby she was 6months when she met her now husband and she is now having her third child. your daughter won't know the difference since you ended the relationship while she is young, best thing you did though i might add you don't want her growing up thinking it is ok to have man walk all over her which is what he would do if you keep him around just for her, if you don't already have a job (which you sound like a smart girl i bet you do) then get one, change the locks so he can't "change his mind" and right now focus all your energy on your daughter and what goals you want for the both of you, get him in court and have him pay child support so your daughter is taken care of. I wish you the best, and promise from what I have seen in my life you and your daugher will be fine and you will find someone who will love both of you no matter what!
2006-06-13 01:55:21 · answer #4 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a shock.
easy first...no your daughter won't grow up to hate you if you raise her as a single mom.
yes you will find someone that loves you for who and what you are and respects your relationship enough to be trustworthy.
What to do next??
You ended the relationship...what to do next is grieve and recover...
it's sad...you're hurt.
You're going to cry alot.
You're going to be really mad alot AND you have to take care of that beautiful baby too.
if you have a friend (NOT MALE) or family member you can be with...great idea...just someone around to hand you a Kleenex....or a glass of water...
give it time....
I've never known anyone that could cry longer than 20 minutes straight.
it'll be ok -
2006-06-13 02:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl spread your wings and FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All you have to remember is "I will go to work EVERYDAY" this will give you stability and money and success. If you get into your job and taking care of your child you will not have time to be scared and you will have the money to pay your bills. Make sure you go to the state to have them take child support right out of his paycheck so that way there is no fighting over money. If you hurt too much to see him and he wants to visit with his child have a middle party where you can drop off the child and pick up the child that way you don't have to look at him. Just get up and be a mother and go to work EVERYDAY and one day you will look around and see that everything is O.K. Like I said girl spread those wings and FLY!
2006-06-13 02:19:38 · answer #6 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you feel is normal. And no, your daughter won't hate you! She's still so young that it's better for you now to separate than put it off when she's older. And believe me, there are plenty of men out there that are totally cool with dating/marrying a mom. There are loads of support groups for women just like you out there.
2006-06-13 02:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by xtragicallyxbeautifulx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, well there is always someone better to be found. Was he cheating on you? Your daughter will not hate you, she will be proud that you did the right thing, just remember the pain is only temporary. Good Luck
2006-06-13 01:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Duhh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on he aint sheit u deserve better my ex did me the same way and i was depressed for a minute then i realized he didnt deserve my tears u daughter isnt gonna hate u at all u r her mother tell her what happ when she is old enough to understand right now she is 8 months old so if u wanna leave NOW is the time
2006-06-13 01:55:25 · answer #9 · answered by omarionsgirl1983 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweeetheart if a man is going to cheat on u once he will do it again and u do not need that around u daughter i would like . no i do not think your daughter will hate u , just sit her down when she gets older enough to understand and tell her how her father was and u just want the best for her and she just might thank u for it and hate him
2006-06-13 02:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by angel h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋