I'm a gay man - HIV negative. I went on a blind date with a HIV positive man who refused to sleep with me because he only enjoyed unsafe sex with guys he had no chance of passing the virus on to.
I felt dejected. Was I discriminated against? I suggested I wear a condom to ease his concern about infecting me but said I had no idea how he felt since I was HIV free.....what a martyr, I thought....
2006-06-13 01:45:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It sounds as if this guy isn't right for you. If he doesn't like you enough to have protected sex with you..then you should be grateful and move on. Be glad you don't know how he feels.
2006-06-13 01:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the man you went on a date with and have a great deal of respect for him.
Dates are not all about sex. Holding hands, sharing a chocolate orgasm (its a wonderful dessert I had in Boston), skipping down streets together, going to nice places, shopping, going to a movie -- all those things can be part of a date -- sex does not need to be part of every good time.
I do not think you were discriminated against, I think you were protected; and I hope that once you think about it you will realize that. HIV is a horrible thing and NO ONE should be infected if it can be avoided.
Again, I think his behavior was absolutely spot-on.
I am also HIV- by the way, and monogamous -- not because of HIV, just because we are very happy together after all these years.
Good luck.
Reyn
2006-06-13 10:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its OK to date HIV+ men , Most of them are caring resposible people who would do anything to keep you from getting the virus . The guy you met is a little diffrent , I'm not so sure I would have wanted to sleep with him . He is going around have bareback sex with other HIV+ men , hasen't he heard that you can catch more than one strain of the virus , and if you do the medications that are available may not be able to contain both strains at the same time .
2006-06-13 17:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow - you got some pretty rough answers already from some very insensitive ppl! sorry those jerks found you...
but seriously, if you're on the first date and already discussing deal breakers when it comes to sex, sounds like maybe that's the main thing he was interested in and you're better off, sweetie. i don't know you or anything, but i bet you'd be happier with someone who's at least willing to compromise.
and congrats on being HIV negative! i know this is a terrible virus that touches every social class in the world. good luck on your journey for "mr right"! mmmmmmmmmuah!
2006-06-13 08:57:40 · answer #4 · answered by water_loves_fire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This gut is to be comended for his concern...and education of the possiblity of the hiv being transmitted, and you should not feel rejected at all. At least he was honest and upfront with you...didn't jerk you around or anything like that. Very mature and responsible. But you should still date him if you really like each other that much....you can have a great non sexual realtionship.
2006-06-19 13:29:20 · answer #5 · answered by toe_roper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, yes you were, but this guy is seriously endangering himself and his partners. Even if you are HIV+ sleeping with another HIV+ person can increase his viral load and run the risk of contracting another mutation/variation of HIV.
You're well shod of him. But it does suck to have someone turn you down like that.
2006-06-15 04:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by Margarette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why the hell do you want to risk your life, are you really serious about beeing refused, the guy with the hiv did you a favour, most usually hide that they have the virus, say thankyou instead of feeling rejected
2006-06-13 09:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by cluelesskat maria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you were not discriminated against. He sounds like he was doing you a favor, he didn't want to risk infecting you. Sorry you felt bad, but you'll find someone who is a better match for you.
2006-06-13 08:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by AreolaDC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was overreacting but I can see his point. If I were HIV I don't think I could live with myself if I were responsible for passing the virus on.
2006-06-13 09:48:00 · answer #9 · answered by eddie9551 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this culture, we discriminate against each other for all sorts of silly reasons that have no logical basis. You seem to have come across one of the few exceptions to this rule.
How guilty would this guy feel if you got sick? How much of an idiot would you be, if you got sick?
2006-06-13 11:15:03 · answer #10 · answered by lcraesharbor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋