i have a 16 year old daughter who whrn she dont get her own way swears at me hit me kicks me and punches me the yeling started when she was 15 and hiting started 1 month ago ive called the cops on her but never pressed charghes my family and friands tell me to press charges and say its tough love but i beleive them but dont know how to be that mean to her even though she is mean to me i love her if i reaqly loved her would i be listening to my family or my heart i need help can someone give me advice
2006-06-13 01:20:32 · 12 answers · asked by mell14716 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
call the cops- press charges! Tough love is the only way. It may seem a little harsh in the short term, but in the future she'll be grateful that you had the courage to do that and turn her into a mature, reasonable, tolerant and caring adult.
2006-06-13 01:24:05 · answer #1 · answered by Sitting Still 4 · 6⤊ 2⤋
No you are not a bad mother - rather you have a bad daughter.
I would say discipline may be required and give her the ultimate to behave or she will have to move out. If you let your daughter get away with such behaviour she only thinks she can keep on repeating it. You have a responsibility to yourself too in this.
You are not a punch bag just because you are her mother and really this has got way out of hand and if calling the police and pressing charges is something that needs to be done then do it.
Stop being a silly softy on this, you can still love her even if it means you give her some long overdue discipline. But this spoilt brat's behaviour is well out of order to the extreme!
2006-06-13 08:41:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not a bad mother....but there are some alternative theories on how to better this home situation. First, stop referring to yourself as a bad mother. Everytime you say this, or type it for that matter, it is one step closer to a self-fulfilling prophecy...meaning that the more you say something, the more true it becomes to someone. So more guilt for mom! Second, have a serious sit down pow wow with your daughter. I understand this could be a near-impossible feat, but its important at every age to have family time, ideally at dinner time where everyone can literally lay it all out on the table. Explain to her the concept of mutual respect...the two-way street conversation may be old, but its old for a reason: because it works! If these attempts just go in one ear and out the other, there are some resources near your to help you through this matter...you might want to look at www.eckerd.org. My brother attended this camp and came back a completely different individual and I'm so thankful for that. There are also some people in your community also that may be able to help....just look under Juvenile Services in your phone book and talk to someone...they just might have the answer you're looking for. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope things get better at home for you. :)
2006-06-13 08:32:39 · answer #3 · answered by KiWi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never come across this kind of problem before, my mum is everything for me...
Find out the roots why she act that way, talk to her slowly and listen. If she don't to listen then maybe you should ask professional help....
Always acknowledge her improvement in her behaviour and tell her that you love her instead being critics and comparing her with somebody else in the family. Aware that not every member in family have same needs, habit etc...
Identify her needs, listen and walk with her in same drum beat...
Its might takes time but that what mum do patient...
So good luck
2006-06-13 08:37:48 · answer #4 · answered by itsme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to press charges on her. She is abusing you!
What happened? Didn't you discipline your kid when she was a young child?
If you did a good job at it, she would have grown to respect you!
It always comes back to parenting when a child turns out bad!!!
You most likely did not do a good job at it!
2006-06-13 08:26:44 · answer #5 · answered by NightAngel101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't judge you on your parenting skills, but these signs/actions were apparent years ago. Because you weren't assertive/authoritative then, you are paying for it now. Being that she is a young adult, I would sit her down and lay down the law, or give her an alternative that both of you may not like (i.e., get out!).
2006-06-13 08:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by DS2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually that is your daughter you had her and sometimes it's not good to take advice from someone who have not been through the situation,do you attend church if so try counseling with your pastor, if you do not try praying and asking God which direction you need to go with this, continue to treat her with kindness, you know the old saying kill'em with kindness, people seem to can't stand that action,and also do not stress yourself out, she is 16 now and what she does she is going to be accountable for it not you. yeah i know she's your daughter but hey that's life you had to learn why is she so different
2006-06-13 08:30:27 · answer #7 · answered by lisa r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave birth to her, and brought her into this world. You loved her, nurtured her, fed her , changed her diaper, and provided for her for 16 years, and then she is going to HIT you!!! No I DO NOT THINK SO!!! Do what is necessary to get her some help, but do not let her abuse you any more. Have her locked up if necessary, yes! Good Luck!!
2006-06-13 08:27:47 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever hear the saying 'Cruel to be Kind'?
It works.
I do agree with a previous poster though, there's not enough information to advise adequately.
Good luck.
2006-06-13 08:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by googlywotsit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are'nt a bad mother your just making sure in the future she doesn't get into trouble. If you dont stop her now you never know how bad shes gonna get. do something about domestic violence is really bad PRESS CHARGES!!
2006-06-13 08:24:41 · answer #10 · answered by Sprite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋