I HAVE 3 CHILDREN AND STABLE JOB AND NEW HOME, RELATIONSHIP WITH WIFE IS OK, BUT OLD AND STALE AFTER 19 YEARS , SHOULD I TAKE A CHANCE WITH THIS OTHER WOMAN I CARE AND LOVE?
2006-06-13 01:20:07 · 21 answers · asked by great_houdini_007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nobody will be able to tell you. Perhaps your feeling for the new woman are mainly, because your wife is not interesting any more...?
Try to speak with your wife about your feelings - and consider all consequences yourself.
Be aware, that most divorced to not end up with the partner that actually made them break the marriage.
2006-06-13 01:25:19 · answer #1 · answered by swissnick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO
Here's Why:
You will never find another woman in the world who has shared some of the amazing moments you and your wife have shared over the last 19 years of marriage - no other woman who will understand all of your little idiosyncracies, share all your inside jokes, know what all your looks mean, and love the children, memories, and experiences that you have loved. Your wife has been with you through nineteen years, showing that she cares for you more than anyone in the world. And you wouldn't have stayed so long if you didn't really feel the same way. So get the best of both worlds - You don't want to leave the love and dedication of your wife, but you want something new. So start something new with your wife - take a second honeymoon, renew your vows, go on an adventure with her. The girl you married is still inside her and she probably misses you as much as you miss her. You want a new romance? Start one with the love of your life.
2006-06-13 01:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by fruitnroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at first I would say to stay with your wife since that would seem like the right thing to say BUT I can kind of understand your point also. If that is how you truly feel and you can honestly say that you LOVE this new woman then I say go for it. And once again I did say LOVE the new woman and not just lust, or the excitement of being with a different woman. What's going to happen when she is not fresh meat anymore and you get tired of her. Something to think about. Plus your wife has been there through the good and the bad times you need to find out if this new woman is going to be there just as much if not more like your wife will. Just take some time to check things out before you leave your wife and kids like that. Good Luck...
2006-06-13 01:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have strong doubts that you even have an understanding of what love is to have gotten yourself into a situation where you'd ask this question. In on of Paul's letters to the Corinthians he describes love. It says love is patient, kind, not self seeking and more. If you truely loved you'd not be self seeking.some kind of pleasure that no doubt you once felt for your wife. You let routine set in and now want a new physical hit from someone else. Ever look at long married couples that are still deeply in love after having been together 40 or 50 years. You'll find they've gone through similar challenges and temptation but chose to work through things and build their communication. Chose to solve their problems. In showing patience and kindness towards one another love grows and expands. What you feel for this other woman can't have had the time to grow into love. You've found only an attraction and probably lust. The statistics are against you and often end up just a repeat pattern of the past unless somehow you mature.
2006-06-13 01:36:47 · answer #4 · answered by Reflective Frank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda selfish of you, don't you think? You have 3 kids, who I'm sure adore you, a committed wife who probably feels the staleness too, but doesn't let it affect her love for you, and a pretty good home. Why on earth would you jeopardise all this for something so trivial as another women? I mean, you have it all and you are actually contemplating this move? Come on, think about.
Why don't you try to spruce up the relationship and re-establish what was once there, before giving up so quickly? I think you are going through a mid life crisis and this is how you validate yourself with this dilemma in your life.
Don't be a fool. Don't be selfish to those who love you unconditionally. In the end it doesn't matter what comments are added to this question because you have to decide on your own. I just hope that you consider all things before deciding on what the next move is.
Sorry if I sounded critical but from what you stated, the answer is so obvious.
All the best.
2006-06-13 01:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by v_stroke_28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 18 years of marriage, my husband cheated on me. We also have 3 children and I found out through them about the affair, the other woman's daughter was telling kids at school about it. So, I think you need to be honest with your wife, because one way or another she will find out, and it's best it comes from you and not your children. My husband and I are still together, it's been almost 2 years since the affair happened. I still sometimes have a hard time with it, and I do run into this other woman at times. The thing about this other woman, she's done this alot, and all with married men, I guess she can't find one for herself who is single. One thing you need to think about is, if this other woman is sleeping with you and knows your married, what is going to stop her from doing the same to you, if you leave your wife of 19 years and your children. If she's doing it with you, there is a big possibility she'll do it with someone else also.
2006-06-13 03:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, calling your wife "old and stale" makes you an @ss. I had to get that out of the way. Second, when you married your wife 19 years age you vowed in front of not only God but your family and friends and hers to forsake all others and be with her until death. You divorce her and you're a liar as well as an @ss. Way to go! Just remember, if she's your first wife, in the eyes of God she will always be your wife and therefore every time you have sex with your floozy, you'll be committing adultery as far as God's concerned. Gee, you sound like a great guy. I feel so sorry for your poor wife.
2006-06-13 01:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is old and stale ? you or your wife
changing wifes after 19 years ?
same will happen with the other woman
No dont do it
If you do it , you will properly fall in love with your wife again as you will get loads of emotions during your split , you will suffer like a dog and feel guilty like hell , think about your children !!!
Book a Holiday you and your wife alone somewhere you never have done before ! Do it , do the right thing !
2006-06-13 01:29:13 · answer #8 · answered by belladonna_in_town 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think it is fair to to divorce your "devoted" wife of 19 years so that you can enjoy the love of another woman.Think what it would do to your children and your wife. I think that you are tired of your wife, therefore you made way to a new love.
Couldn't you have at least tried to make things in your marriage more interesting? If so do that because this is a big step you are taking and it could mean losing the trust and love of your children.
Don't make a hasty decision.
2006-06-13 01:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by Hope2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to get mixed answers for this question. It really boils down to:
- should you spend the rest of your life with a person that you no longer love for the sake of your family?? does your wife deserve this!!!
- Or should you be honest about your feelings and the fact that you are not content with your current relationship and life in general.
If you want my advise, go for it. You can just spend the rest of your life in misery and it is not fair for your wife as well. If you are worried about your kids, i am sure they are not going to love what you are going to do, but that is life.
2006-06-13 01:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by fozio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋