Do you think it's ok to fool around with other ppl before engagement/marriage?

Question

I want to experiment etc., before saying yes when/if my boyfriend proposes. He has said that I can be with other girls, but he has to watch. I haven't admitted that I'd even be w/a girl, and he has always said that if I cheat he'd rather it be w/a girl. Can I do this and not feel too quilty w/out him knowing? Would he be opposed to the idea if I said I want to do things but not w/him around to watch?

Oooh, thanks Dom. Some additional info would be that I would only try it out once, and I'll either get extremely grossed out or enjoy it. If I do enjoy it I would tell him about it and see if he'd still want to be w/me and possibly ask him to join sometime, but he can not f her. Is that a bad idea?

There isn't really a reason for him in his defense as to why he'd let me do it if he watched. I have told him about a guy friend I had wanted me to have a 3some w/him and that may have provoked some thought. Or maybe he's just saying it bc it's what all guys are built to think. Before I ended up looking at porn he was obsessed w/watching lesbians, I don't know if that adds to it.

Answer 1

Sick!

Answer 2

Well, you should first consider your relationship. Would you be the same if you knew that it was OK to see other people? That kind of ruins the idea of a 'relationship'. "He has said that I can be with other girls, but he has to watch. I haven't admitted that I'd even be w/a girl, and he has always said that if I cheat he'd rather it be w/a girl." No offense to him or anything, but it kind of makes him seem like a pervert. Ignore this comment if there is any fair reason for this. If you start doing things behind his back, then soon enough, you'll start acting as if you are single, and that's never a good thing when you are in a relationship. If you need any more help, just put in some additional info, and I'll add stuff to this answer.

Additional info stuff:

Trying it out once could be a possible solution, but don't waste it on some half drunk person in a cheesy bar/pub. Also keep in mind that you don't want a relationship with this person, as you could hurt their feelings by sleeping with them then just leaving them.

As for the second paragraph, guys *do* tend to only think about that... Something to do with their hormones...

If he was obsessed with watching such things, the whole idea of letting you fool around with girls might just be for his own entertainment purposes... He might be the nicest guy in the world, but don't let him use you if you feel uncomfortable about it.

Answer 3

Well if your wanting to experiment now then you really dont need to be in a relationship at all. And no I dont think you should do it behind his back, of course he will be mad about it. He is just wantin to see you do it not just let u get away with it. And yea he may say it's ok to cheat if its with another girl of course most guys would say that. But I dont think he really means it. There will be a big trust issue later. If your not ready to settle down then dont live like it. If you can't do things together there is no point and doing them alone. Have you thought of what if he wanted to experiment as well ?? How would u feel if he wanted to sleep around with other ppl? Would you feel the same way, maybe it's time you thought about that before actually going through with it. Maybe it's just something ur curious about but never have to actually do. That's y there are things called fantasies

Answer 4

I think that it is a little strange that you want to marry someone but sleep with other people. You are in a relationship and I think you should be faithful. The fact that your partner will let you sleep with a girl if he gets to watch is not normal unless you both have an open relationship and It should not matter if you sleep with a girl or guy sex is sex and cheating is cheating.

Answer 5

I don't comprehend the "I have to watch" aspect.

There is an honestly factor here. He doesn;t mind the cheat as long as he can watch. If he can't watch, you are being devious.

Personally, the whole thing seems a bit twisted. This is not going ot be a good relationship and I feel that you should leave him completely.

Answer 6

You want to "experiment"?
Sounds to me like 1. You are questioning your sexuality
2. If you Love your boyfriend,WHY would
you want to be with someone else?
3.If you desire other girls,you don't need to be with him.
4.If HE Really Loved YOU,he wouldn't want to "share"
you with anyone!
5.How do you know he will ever propose to you,anyway?
6. Say,you DO experiment,and you like it better than with him,where does that leave him?
7.If he was to "watch",IF you married him later,
don't think for a moment,he wouldn't remind you of it,when you get in a argument!
8.LAST, but not least--You AREN'T ready to commit to
anyone!

Answer 7

Honestly, I don't think you're ready to get married. Marriage is a commitment between 2 people, not 3, not 4! It certainly doesn't sound like you're ready for that. Stay single and until you feel that you can be with your boyfriend ONLY, don't say "yes".

Answer 8

No, fooling around before engagement may put you in trouble later. Experience comes always after marriage, God gave you imagination to use...after marriage , think of ways and new means of satisfaction for both of you, this will give you great power to exercise perfectly.

Answer 9

if you seriously want to be with someone else then dump the b/f

If you seriuously want to be with the b/f, forget the cheating

The most important aspect of any relationship is trust. If you can't fully trust each other, split up

Answer 10

It sounds like you're just gonna live out one of his fantasies. Are you SURE you wanna wind up with this guy? Think about it.

Answer 11

Yes I do...

I think you need to EXPERIENCE the "diversities" of life, before settling on a SINGLE SOURCE of fulfillment.

If you don't, you'll always wonder what you missed.