How do i learn to trust my partner again after his affair any advise from people that have had experience ?
2006-06-13 00:01:22 · 19 answers · asked by dizzymooo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have more then my share of experience in this. At the moment my husband and I are going a dna test were he had an affair on me. All I can say on the matter is to take a moment allow and really think about what you want. If you really love that person then take your time and talk things out. Do not get mad and fight about the affair but ask them why they went looking some where else. It will help if you really want to work things out. The other thing is that you have to forgive them but you don't have to forget about it. The hardest thing to do is not to throw it in there face. All that does is makes them mad. If you truly love him them take one day at a time but both of you have to want it just not you.
2006-06-13 13:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by bluedophin005 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You either can or you can't. Unfortunately only time will tell if you can let go of what he has done. Trust can be re-earned but once someone has breeched that trust you always know in the back of your mind that they are capable, and that's what is hard to get over. Trust is a fragile thing after an affair.....for always. Sorry.
2006-06-13 13:46:22 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to forgive someone completely for being unfaithful and hurting you. But if you constantly harp on about it, can't get it out of your head and bring it up in every argument then you will be hurting yourself as well as driving your partner away. Allow yourself some time together and try to find out what was wrong in your relationship that made him wander, then try to put that right. The thing is that you have to be able to trust him, not just for the sake of your relationship, but for the sake of your sanity. It may be corny to say that to be truly happy you have to love like you'll never get hurt, but it's true.
2006-06-13 14:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm really sorry you went through such a horrible experience,and yes i know how it feels,
in my opinion it's the hardest thing to trust someone again after they have cheated on you,
you can love them more than anything in the world but there is always gonna be that nagging doubt,always eating away at you.
you're always wondering where they are,who they are with,what they are doing.
i never took my ex back after he cheated,i just couldn't do it,he had destroyed my trust and i knew that every time we argued i would just throw it all back in his face,you are a brave girl for sticking with him,but just remember this,
if he loved you,i mean truly loved you he would never disrespect you like that,ask yourself if you deserve better and if you think you do then move on,you will get over him and find love again.
i was with my ex for 12 years so imagine how hard it was for me,i stayed single for 2 years after,i'm now engaged to someone else and have a 17 month old daughter.
i hope you make the right desicion,good luck.
there is a saying that i just love-
NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS
THE ONE WHO IS
WILL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.
2006-06-13 07:11:49 · answer #4 · answered by Bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust when once broken,it takes time 2 regain..
Trust God,trust yourself,think abt the wonderful moments,that u have spent with your partner,take time and evrything 'll get all right once again.
2006-06-13 07:09:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand that some people cant get over an affair. It is perfectly normal. If you have tried and cant seem to let it go, my advice is to leave and find someone who can treat you like you should be!
2006-06-13 07:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need time. Your partner has to realise that he has done wrong and that it may take a few years for you to trust him fully again.
2006-06-15 11:55:44 · answer #7 · answered by suzanne m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truelly love your partner and want to make it work and want to trust them, then give them the benifet of the doubt! However just be more aware! And if at any time you have doubt then ask your partner about it! your parner should be willing to help ease your doubt if their honest!
2006-06-13 07:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by kimmycool2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust yourself. Dont give him a reason not to trust .You will regret it in the long run.
2006-06-13 07:30:54 · answer #9 · answered by schrice s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am myself trying to learn again, just don't make any quick decisions, work on your relationship TOGETHER.
2006-06-13 07:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by kma195 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋