Am i over-exagerating about my husband having pornos and lying about it?

Question

He had them before we got married. When we got married i asked him to get rid of them, i felt very uncomfertable. He said he would and lied about it. I would make him promise me and he would brake his promises. This went on for about a yr. He would find no problem with it but i did. Am i wrong??? Am i asking for too much??? Is he addicted???

Sometimes i would find some and i would throw them out and he would apoligize and promise never agian but then eventually i would find some again. When we first got married we would have sex alot. Atleast a good 5 times a week, sometimes 2-3 times a day. So i was pleasing him. We tried all kinds of things, diff. positions... now im 37 weeks pregnant and still at the begining of my pregnancy we would still do it, now its 1 every month ( i wish it were more).

Answer 1

Honestly, give him a break! He is probably just a normal guy. And yes, ever heard the adage, "If you can't fight 'em just join 'em"

Answer 2

Lots of these people are talking about addiction, hes a man he likes looking at naked women, ignore these people on there high horse and remember we all have little faults . Is he looking at porn because you are having sex only once a month maybye, maybye not. How is it really effecting your everyday life is he opening up the mag during dinner parties. Pregnency is stressful in many ways for the husband dont over think the problem or lack of problem. Does he love you, will he be a good father do you love him. Chances are he adores you but just has to take care of some of his baser insticts. Theres worse things to happen in marriage.

Answer 3

Guys like to get off on their own sometimes and often times imagination is not good enough. I would see a therapist together about it, but consider allowing him to keep the porn for now. Perhaps you could look at it together for ideas. I would only consider it a problem if he avoids having sex with you and then uses the porn right after. Never be intimidated by porn because those women/men aren't sleeping next to him every night. Also, most of those people do not go out in public or live next door, so there is very little chance of him running off with something like that. Be confident in yourself and good luck!

Answer 4

I feel he is addicted if he cannot get rid of them and is hiding them from you and that he is looking at them. He needs help here and so will you. My wife hates porn and was hurt by it when she was younger by a man who molested and raped her as a child and i never would hurt her like that. This is just not right. This will end up ruining your marriage and twisting his mind even more. This seems to be a BIG problem here and it will only get worse if it is not started to work on now. No you are not being unreasonable at all and you are not asking for too much!

Answer 5

Hes a man.

Men like porn.

Regardless of whether or not you are pleasing him or not he is still going to have an interest in naked women.

He could be with the worlds most beautiful woman and he would still want to look at various naked women.

I dont think hes addicted. Addicted would be if he would rather please himself while watching porn than have sex with you.

Its a natural sexual desire and you should not shame him about it because that will make him uncomfortable and cause your sexlife many many problems.

Have you ever tried watching them with him. Just a thought. You could even pick one out together.

I had this problem with my partner and it almost ruined our relationship. Lying is bad but it is also bad for you to try to change him.

My partner and I came to a compramise where he wouldnt leave it where I could see it and I didnt hassle him about it.

Answer 6

I feel some men need that visual stimulation prior to sex, or while masterbating. Like the saying goes, "You can't change a leopards spots." You knew what you were getting before you married him, to ask him to change is too much. Addiction is something that runs your life, can he hold down a job, or do extra curricular activity outside the TV set? If not, then he probably is addicted.

Answer 7

Girl u're not asking too much, some man just need to have porn in their life. Make ur self more addicting and he'll pay attention to u more then the porns, or secretly throw them away :P

Answer 8

Look...

You make the rules, together... about what GOES and what DOESN'T GO in your relationship.

I don't know any man who would watch PORN if he is being "taken care of" at home.

Real life intrudes... so.... to answer your questions directly:

YES I think you're wrong...

Yes I think you're asking too much...

All of us are addicted to sex... that's the way we're wired... Have him use YOU for a "FIX"... not the VCR or DVD.

Answer 9

Lots of men do it. I have no use for them, but my brother-in- law has been hiding them from his wife for years. She knows he has and watches them but says nothing. Doesn't seem to bother their marriage. Some people say they help their marriage. If they don't involve children I would think it would be okay. Longs as it's not an obsession. Like spending a lot of time watching them, time that is interfering with your life.

Answer 10

If you have a problem with pornography(and it sounds as if you do), then your husband should respect your wishes and dispose of his "collection". The fact that he has lied to you indicates that he may be addicted. Talk to him about his need for porn to find out his reasons for keeping them.

Good luck!

Answer 11

it is just porno it really isn't a big deal at least he isn't out there with actual girls he is in the comfort of his own home, why don't you watch them with him? They have some with pregnant woman as well maybe you guys can come up with some comfortable positions to try out while you are pregnant