I am 21... I went out with girls..... My voice is different then others, most of my friends are girls, and I just don't know.. I try SO hard to be straight and I don't think it was biological ... but it just that I like a mens body.. I know there are plenty of girls out there who I could get it easily but im scared if my penis wont you knw....
I fantasize guys a lot.... I try to fantasize girls, but it doesn't work. When I mastrubate I think about this guy .And I tried girls, but it took longer.....
How can I be straight? I don't think it's biological. How can I ask girls out? How can i changed my life?
I want kids when I grow up. I want to have one night stands off the wall. HELP ME!..
and one time, i went to this club and you knw d lap dance thing... i really like the girl very much but my penis doesnt resopnse or something... that really ****!... please help me.....
2006-06-12 23:17:01 · 11 answers · asked by joshua 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
don't fight it. just be yourself and don't try to label it as "gay" or "straight". you don't HAVE to be either, just be true to yourself - that's the only way you'll be truly happy with your relationships.
keep in mind that when being true to yourself and finding inner happiness, you will also come across ppl who don't understand and you'll have to deal with those ppl as they come, but remember; this is your life and you should do what brings you peace.
2006-06-13 02:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by water_loves_fire 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I went through that at a younger age than 21, but it was similar. I knew that I was gay, though. I tried to date girls and I tried to fantasize about women when I was a teenager. Of course, it never worked. I finally gave up and accepted that I was gay. There is a difference between knowing you are gay and accepting it.
It sounds like you are gay. You cannot change or cause sexual orientation. It is what it is. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but it would be wrong for you to get into a committed relationship with a girl when you are having these feelings. It wouldn't be fair to her.
2006-06-13 00:59:29 · answer #2 · answered by huhwhat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had conflicted emotions too and remained a virgin until my early 20s. It sounds like we both went through something similar. what i finally had to do to keep from going crazy is what it sounds to me what you might have to do which was simply saying the words "i'm gay", and accepting it. There is nothing wrong with you, you are the same person you have always been except now you can be true to yourself. There is no way to become "ungay". Psychologists have examined programs that are supposed to teach people how to not be gay and have found that these programs actually really hurt people. you are who you are regardless of whether or not you wanted to be that way, and sometimes it sucks, but mostly it doesn't. You're not alone. A lot of us out there had trouble adjusting at first. I have a link to PFLAG's website, their an organization that helps support gay people with "coming out" issues.
http://www.pflag.org/
ps my id on yahoo messenger is sooziebeaker if you ever need to talk.
2006-06-12 23:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by sooziebeaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Joshua,
Hey kid. *hug* I don't think I heard from your heart there at all. I think I heard from your penis and from your brain. I think your heart was absent.
Let me go through a couple of things.
Number one: Lots of gay men get along very well with females. Your feeling comfortable with them -- that's pretty normal for gay men. You feel so sexual spark however -- that's pretty normal for gay men.
You cannot mandate your sexuality, that's a fallacy. You can learn to lie to yourself and to others. You can hide, but you can't change what you feel. You could marry a woman and live a miserable life -- and trust me, it would be miserable -- I've seen this combo before -- if you really want to.
Or, you could deal with your feelings, stop hiding from them. Once you stop fighting, your emotions will start to match your sexual desires. I've seen it before. Underneath they do now, I would bet you have had crushes on boys, even if you have disguised them to yourself as something else. Emotions are easier to suppress than physical reactions however, so you know that you want boys.
You say you want kids. You can have kids -- its easy enough in a dozen ways, and if you can't have them here, you can go to Europe and have them. Soon enough (from what I've been reading in cellular technology) it will be possible to combine two mens' sperm and make a baby -- by converting one sperm to an egg -- its already a known technique, but its only being done experimentally at the moment. Males can also carry, and that technology has been approved in this country for heterosexual couples where the woman can't carry. Europe is less controlling on that aspect as well.
Be who you are. Love yourself, there is nothing wrong with you, as you are. You are wasting your life. 21? I'd had a 6 year relationship at that point, which only ended because we both went to college. You've wasted those years agonizing over who you will LET YOURSELF be -- and you know it. Stop the agonizing, what your penis wants is what is natural to you -- accept yourself and F**K the family members or religious "leaders" who have taught you to hate who you are.
Email me if you need to talk.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-06-13 03:39:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the others have said, accept that you are gay. I went through the same thing you are feeling. You can continue to admire women for their beauty and your female friends for their sincerity. Most gay men do that. But follow your erotic impulses toward men. Be discerning and find male friends or lovers whom you can respect and who respect you. That way you will find peace when lonely and joy when with someone else.
2006-06-13 02:43:55 · answer #5 · answered by fall2005buseng 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should accept what you are. You can't "become" straight and even if you could, you shouldn't. There is nothing wrong with you, this is who you are and people will love you for that. As for the kids, you can always adopt. Think positive and don't change.
2006-06-12 23:40:27 · answer #6 · answered by Natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a gay; just accept your self as you are and enjoy dancing with girls. You may give another and another attempt with girls; one day it may work with you; I think it will, what what will not change or hard to change is your feeling twards guys this will remain, but you need to control it while you attempt with girls, so finally you will end up as bi
2006-06-12 23:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by zainbi6boy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.....It sounds to me like you are having an identity issue. Think about your life and how miserable you will be if you try to live a life being a person that you're not. This is what I did. Now I'm glad that I'm bisexual.....^_^
2006-06-13 00:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by T. Emopire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be gay - stay away from the bologna pony - thank you and have an intoxicated day.
2006-06-13 00:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are gay, most gays have girls as best friends, but if you are sexually atracted to men... then you are gay
2006-06-13 12:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋