My younger brother is frustrating me. He sleeps all the morning and after noon and gets up after the sunset. to stay awake until the next morning and so on. I cannot find a solution for that and he says that no one is responsible for his this bad behavior. I need a help to let him be a normal person like millions of persons who get up early in the morning and sleep at the mid night. I am thinking of cutting off the lights of our house to force him sleep at the mid night. He is not an addicted to any thing but he like to see the T.V. until the morning and I will be so thankful if you will help me.
2006-06-12 22:35:32 · 7 answers · asked by AshOsaki 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Our father dead last year and he did not listen to my Mom when she talked to him. He refused to go to his first semester in the university and he keeps smoking and saying no one is responsible for my life. I am a man, I have a moustache, and I do what I want to do. All of us including my Mom and my sisters are in trouble with his behaviors. He need for money, cigarettes, and for sleeping all the day. I think in hit or fight him as his elder brother but I do not want to complicate the problem.
2006-06-12 23:28:18 · update #1
He is 19 years old.
2006-06-12 23:29:11 · update #2
Ken, I think he is not hiding from people. He likes to go in the night to see his nightly friends. He said that keeping awake all the night alone is a favor for him.
2006-06-12 23:31:56 · update #3
Why don't you mind your own business? I don't get why this is your problem.
2006-06-12 22:39:57 · answer #1 · answered by Hillbillies are... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is hiding from people for some reason. At night he does not have to relate to others and can be alone. I was much the same when young but didn't watch TV because then there was no TV. Would go for long walks in the country and come home in the morning. I know it was because I didn't want to be around other children because of the teasing and torment I received from the other kids. I am a handy caped person and the young are cruel without meaning it. Think about your brother and see if there is something that others would either shun or tease about. He is hiding from people.
2006-06-13 06:19:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some of the other posters have misunderstood. From what I get out of your story, your brother does not work. Instead of finding a job or attending school, he has dropped out, sleeps all day, and spends his waking hours (in the middle of the night) watching TV, hanging out with friends, smoking, and doing a bunch of other self-indulgent things that he needs money for.
Meanwhile, there's the chance that his nocturnal behavior is keeping you up at nights or making it hard for you and your mom to get your rest.
(Is this correct?)
I think this makes it your business: Your brother has abdicated all responsibility of being an adult while still wanting the privileges thereof, and is making you and your mom take care of him while he does whatever he wants. This is not good for you, and it's not good for him.
You mentioned your father died last year. I assume your parents are still pretty young (in their 50's). Was he and your brother close? Could this destructive behavior be his way of "grieving" over your father's death?
If this isn't part of the issue and he's just taking advantage of your mother and yourself, then he either needs to find a job and start contributing to the household, or you need to kick him out so he can pick himself up by his bootstraps and start being the adult he wants to be.
It doesn't really matter whether his job is a night shift or a normal one, but it will provide him some structure and discipline in his schedule... and also motivate him to go back to school or find a better job if the one he has to take is not one he's fond of. Still, right now, he's floating, and no one (including him) seems happy about that lack of purpose and direction.
If you think there are Dad issues still creeping up (with Father's Day approaching to boot), he should find a counselor or clergy to talk to, just so he can unearth any bad emotions he's hiding from himself and then deal with them.
(The "nocturnal" thing could be a desire to just "disappear" from the view of other people, based on your dad's death; I don't know. It's worth looking into why he finds night-time a better time to live than day-time.)
I know he's your mom's little boy, so she will have a hard time giving him "tough love" of any sort. She loves him and wants to nurture him, but with your dad gone -- unless you have an uncle or some other family member he is close to -- you are the closest thing he has to a motivating force in his life. Support his drive to get a job; don't support his living off other people like a kid.
2006-06-13 09:29:19 · answer #3 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I go to work at 1:00 AM, and nothing is more frustrating than when somebody doesn't understand why I'm tired at 3:00 PM. In my opinion, as long as a person has fourteen good productive hours awake, with some work, family/friend obligations, and some unwind time than why should it matter where the sun is at in relation to your little patch of Earth?
2006-06-13 05:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by nukecat25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure it is a motivational problem and that he is simply giving up all his responsibilities? It may be that he genuinely has trouble sleeping at night. He may be depressed or be in trouble or he may genuinely be a night person, some people just are. If you suspect the first or second possibilities, have you tried addressing that problem instead of the night-owl problem?
2006-06-13 15:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by ANOVA Geek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find him a woman.
2006-06-13 05:39:10 · answer #6 · answered by Velveeta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you his guardian? Where are his parents? How old is he? You don't give enough information. Please update your question to include my questions.
2006-06-13 05:39:57 · answer #7 · answered by Evil Wordmonger, LTD LOL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋