Im almost 20 should my parets decide what goes on n my life?

Question

I WILL BE 20 IN A MONTH AND 2 WEEKS AND I REALLY DONT HAVE A SAY SO N WHAT GOES ON N MY LIFE. I JUST GRADUATED FROM A COMMUNITY COLLEGE AND I AM WITH SOMEONE MY MOTHER DOESNT LIKE .SHE IS REALLY VERY NEGATIVE. MY BF IS LOOKING FOR AN APT ALREADY AND WE R BOTH TIRED OF THE SNEAKY SITUATION. I HADNT SEEN HIM SINCE APRIL. THEY CONTROL EVERYTHING FROM THE SCHOOL I WOULD LIKE TO ATTEND. AM I WRONG IF I JUST LEAVE AND MY BF AND I GET A PLACE OR SHOULD I STAY PUT AT HOME?

Answer 1

move out as soon as you can

Answer 2

Hi! I agree that the "apron strings" from your mom should be loosened at your age.I will say,as a side note that age does not neccesarily mean maturity.
I honestly don't think you should continue with your relationship and potential plans in moving in together a secret.A lie makes a lie,makes a lie and then you're caught in not remembering which lie/secret you told & things gets blown up in your face.
Just talk to her. ALWAYS start out any conversation with a positive statement/comment before the "bomb(s)"! lol!
Maybe say something to the effect that you love her and respect her thoughts & opinions.That you hate any tension between the 2 of you.
That you love your boyfriend (I'm hoping a healthy relationship), you've completed school ( CONGRATS!),shown responsibility in other ways.That you & he were thinking of moving in together.I hope you both have jobs.That you, at your age don't NEED her approval,you're an adult but you would like to have her consent.
She sounds as if she'd just worried about "her baby" =)
Remind her that to live and learn,you have to have triumphs & mistakes to learn from.This may be a mistake ,but you want to try your own risks for a change.
I hope this helps&I apologize for going on.
Wish You The Best!

Answer 3

Babe, the best advise I can give you is do what you think is right. You are old enough at this point to figure out what you want and what you need. That's all that matters. But a word of caution, it seems that you love your parents still and respect there input, because you would not have posted this question if you didn't. They are your parents and weather you like it or not they can be right.

Maybe you should ask your mother her reasons why she hates your boyfriend. If they are not solid reasons then your decision to move out and get an apartment with your boyfriend is a good one.

Just don't forget that the decision is always and will always be yours!

Answer 4

If you still live at home with your parents then yes they do have some say over your life. Your parents are going to be bossy and basically not treat you like an adult until you move out of their house and get a place of your own and prove to them that you are an adult. Whether you move in with your bf or not is your decision but I would definately get out of your parents house. It's time to be an adult.

Answer 5

You have to grow up sometime. Does your mom have a good reason for not liking him, or is he just not good enough for her baby? Living with someone isn't easy, you may be better off (if financially able) to get a place of your own for awhile. If you are living with him, your mom may never come see you, if you have a place of your own it will show responsibility. And in a place of your own, you say who is there and when. Also, you haven't been able to see very much of him, the shine may come off while you two are living together. Good luck

Answer 6

LOOK i wouldnt move in with him. BUT do move on your own.Do respect your parents morals. I did and i am doing ok.HONOR your father and mother that your days be long. OR SPEND more time a way from home. THE LIBRARY IS GREAT.--------- I GO TO A FAST FOOD place i buy a coke and i read 4 a couple of hours. a way from every one.

Answer 7

well you are under your parents roof, and therefore they have a say it what happens in your life. let them know how you feel, and be mature about it, dont throw a tantrum and say you are running away and moving out..because that is exactly what you are doing running away...and that is only going to show how much you havent grown up.

Prove to them that you are an adult....and then you will get the respect that you feel you deserve. tell them what your plans about your future, what your options are...feed it to them...get the relationship that you've always wanted....may take time but it would be worth it in the end.

or you could run away...and prob ruin your relationship with your parents forever..it's up to you really..

Answer 8

in moslem their parents should let go their kid to decide what to goin to do when their kid was 17 years old. That`s very importand for their sociality life when they have own life such as marriage.
But one thing that kids must never forget it, that they should not forget their parent. The parent that give their live from baby till now (almost 20) think about it. What u can do for them.

Answer 9

Do as you like, but consider this: If the relationship with your bf suddenly goes south, do you plan on weasiling your way back into your parent's household. If so, then use diplomacy when parting company, because you may need them later.

Answer 10

By 20 years old, I think it is absolutely time to start your own life. Your parents love you very much im sure, but they cant run your life forever. Do what you feel is right, they will back you in the long run.

Answer 11

I don't think run away its the best answer, cuz u gonna lost ur family, and r u sure about this guy? or u wanna move with him just bcuz ur mom doesnt let u be with him? think about it,cuz its a big step in ur life, im almost 20 too. and i totally understand u...