My friend says she trusts me because I will give her advice on what to do with her relationship problems instead of telling her what to do like everyone else. She's trying to get over an ex and claims to love him so much even though he hurts her emotionally everytime they get together, but she can't find anyone new to care about. She just took him back again. I know she's making a mistake and she's not listening to anyone. Should I tell her what is probably best for her and risk how our relationship is, or just let her find out for herself the hard way?
2006-06-12 20:26:54 · 14 answers · asked by whatsanubian37 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Oh, and they have one kid together. So I think that's the only reason she's taking him back.
2006-06-12 20:57:07 · update #1
no cause if she can do that then the friendship is really nothing and not a relationship, trust is the number one deal for any realationship, especially a friendship!
2006-06-12 20:28:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could relate more with your friends demise than your situation. She didnt heed your advice, the first time..what makes you think that she will hear you out with your wisdom this time?!
I know because I have been through the same exact thing with my current boyfriend.Its hard to keep up with a relationship with everyone against you. But, its a lot harder to know that your friends do not support you with it That happened to me. Let me tell you, I really feel lonely and abandoned. I know you love your friend that you dont want her to feel that from you, right?. You must respect the decision of your friend to take him in again. Despite the odds, just accept that he is her happiness. Just be there for her when, (or if) when the relationship fails.
For one, I know she is mature enough to know what she is doing.Let her think for herself....if that is is the way for her to learn through life. It maybe the hardest way, but let her learn and earn it with her own choice.
2006-06-12 20:40:50 · answer #2 · answered by LateBloomer25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best friend should be a good mirror. If you've given your friend good advice in the past, she'll likely take in this information also. She may not like it, she may hate it, but if its the truth and it needs to be said, having it come from a trusted friend is tons better than it being proven by a worthless ex.
2006-06-12 20:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Grisheen . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds very familiar. In high school my closest friend always had ups and downs with her bf. Every time I'd say "Well, maybe you need a break" they'd break up and she'd be ticked at me!! And here I was thinking I was being a good friend.
I know you are trying to do the same, but you need to let her learn this lesson on her own. Listen to her, without judgement, without comment and let her be.
2006-06-12 20:31:50 · answer #4 · answered by jerkygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definitely talk to her...that's why your her mate. There's no real secrets between friend and in the long run she's gonna appreciate that you did talk to her. Honesty go's a long way. Just chose your words wisely not to hurt her, but don't beet around the bush to much. Initially she might be upset..but I don't think she would have asked for your advice if she wasn't ready to hear it. You owe it to her as a friend to speak up and help her in a situation where love is making her to blind do see.
2006-06-12 20:38:09 · answer #5 · answered by #3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you really care for her, you will stop thinking in a selfish way(losing her friendship) and you will tell her in a supportive way what you really think. You can always advice her to leave that man in a sweet way and promise to be there for her. If she's SOOO blind she cant see straight you have a duty as a friend to be a bit diplomatic but tell her the trutrh as well.
2006-06-12 20:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by metafrastria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that telling her the truth about how you feel should hurt your friendship with her. If she doesn't want to take your advice on the situation then, tell her that you don't want her to tell you about everytime she goes back with him and he plays her, because it is emotionally draining for you.
2006-06-12 20:33:50 · answer #7 · answered by Shay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your 100% that he is just a bad seed to her, if your a truly friend you would tell her the truth, just as her told you that u will give her advice, maybe she trust you cuz you never truly say the whole truth on every situation she is just listening what she wants to hear.
dont forget to pick your best answer :) whoever you pick gets 10 points :)
2006-06-12 20:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by america_2008_2008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they really are a good friend, then it shouldnt have come to the stage where she may get hurt emotioanlly. However good friends are hard to come by, so I guess it's your decision whether you want to hurt her or remain her friend.
2006-06-12 20:33:10 · answer #9 · answered by Leah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just listen like you always have and let her make her own mistakes. this way she cant blame you for anything. no one can tell her what to do. just be the shoulder for her to cry on.
2006-06-12 20:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋