I've been married for three years and lately I've felt a distance between my husband and I. When I tell him how I feel, he basically says that I'm thinking too much and that's it, nothing else is said. He rarely tells me he loves me unless I asked him. I don't know what to think anymore. Is he cheating on me?? He did cheat on his first wife for 6 out of 7 years they were married. Maybe I'm just assuming but we don't have sex as much as we used to either and that's only because I've lost interest. There's no romance involved and no satisfation in it for me. He just does he's thing and turns around and falls asleep. I've gained some weight so maybe that's the reason. He gets mad at me for the smallest reasons and never listens to what I have say. Is my marriage over???
2006-06-12 19:29:35 · 14 answers · asked by h5683 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take care of you first...what makes you happy...stop worrying about him and go do something nice for yourself. : )
2006-06-12 19:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by CHELLE 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, here's one single guy's perspective
Wow, I never wanna get married after hearing that. Why don't you stop worrying so much, and just be happy? If you have no interest in sex anymore, why do you blame him? What the hell is romance, anyway? Isn't it more important to be a friend/mother/partner than a love interest? What is distance? We are all alone, in a way. Sounds like you need to learn to make yourself happy, and not depend on him alone to be happy. How can he live with the pressure of knowing your happiness depends on constant affirmation? I can't believe you ask him to tell you he loves you. That's gotta be the most annoying thing in the world to hear. You don't ask people to say it. Find your own happiness and joy, and he will fall in love with you again. Don't be so clingy. Don't rely on him for a daily affirmation of your worth.
What's wrong with turning around and falling asleep afterwards?!? Isn't pillow talk just "blah blah blah," after awhile, anyway?
But thank you. You just reminded me of the downsides to some of my past relationships, and I've never been so happy to be single. Damn, women can drive a guy insane.
2006-06-13 02:46:30 · answer #2 · answered by wordnerd27x 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It takes two to tango, and if he is not willing to give an inch in the conversation- you are in a fairly powerless position -but you do not need me to tell you that - since you are living this. If there is a way you could get him to a marriage councillor that could be helpful.
Communication is the key here, but if he keeps that key in his pocket he holds all the control. That's why I say there might be a need for a mediator - someone who he would open up with. If he is alone with you he might just keep doing the guy/clam-up thing. I personally do not know how exactly how to open that sort of stubborn clam up....
Could you get him to have alcohol and get him in a cozy mood? Play the seductress? Tease him and get some information out of him?]
If you are at all like myself, you detest underhanded games, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
He sounds like he is a little underhanded himself though........
Hope things work out for you guys.
And after listening to WORDNERD I hope that guy nevers marries. That sort of selfish insensitivity would destroy a woman. Don't let goofballs get you further into a pit.
2006-06-13 02:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cheated on his first wife 6 out of 7 yrs they were married? did you know this before you married him? did he cheat on her with you? he didnt think he should be very faithful to his first wife, what makes you think he'll be more faithful to you? he seems to be a stray dog that should be put-down, not married. i'd say it was over, join a local 'curves for women' lose the few lbs you gained and find someone better!
2006-06-13 02:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by NTH IQ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you got married becoz 3 years ago you were in love. feelings can fade after time, but you can get it back. you need to sit down and talk to him. have a batch and put on something that makes you feel good, then light some candles, cook you ans him a meal and have a glass of wine, and TALK to each other. even if nothing is wrong from his point of view you need to start communicating and understanding each other or you will drift apart evenmore. good luck xx
2006-06-13 02:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only give so much and get nothing in return. I would pull away and see what happens. If you still get nothing in return then I would say it is over. I think when we as women make ourselves so available, and then get taken advantage of. Men get "comfortable" and stay in that state. It isn't easy admitting to ourselves that it is over, but if it is then move on. And take one day at a time. Good luck to you.
2006-06-18 19:51:04 · answer #6 · answered by ~Carolina Beach Girl~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you knew he cheated 6 out of 7 and you still married him? maybe you should ask him this question and start talking about how you feel..
2006-06-13 02:35:31 · answer #7 · answered by norcal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your marriage is not over until you give up and want to move on. That said, your bond and communication are on life support. Seek some counciling together and work on getting reconnected
2006-06-13 02:37:30 · answer #8 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's cheating.He lost interest.You can give yourself a chance, lose some weight and take care of yourself more.Invest more in yourself , in how you look and you'll feel better.If he doesn't react to that change, then it's better to look for someone who is.
2006-06-13 02:40:57 · answer #9 · answered by anilia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is over. You should move on. Find someone who'll appreciate you and make you happy because currently you're just wasting your life.
2006-06-13 05:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, it looks like signs he is cheating.
Sorry. Find a good lawyer.
2006-06-13 03:10:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋