Im in school and I really want to come out to my family and friends but most of the people in my community are homophobic. I really want to come out but at the same time i really do not want to lose my friends. I also want a boyfriend, so if you are in the Charlotte, NC area let me know!
2006-06-12 18:15:45 · 26 answers · asked by gaycowboy6904 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
There's a completely free, completely confidential hotline that you can call that can help you come out. You can speak with an adult or with a young person like yourself.
http://www.glnh.org/index2.html
Their website also has links to organizations in your area.
All of the following links have really great resources for coming out. Don't just click the top one... click all of them and read all of the brochures, etc.
http://www.pflag.org/Getting_Support-Coming_Out.coming_out.0.html
http://www.outproud.org/brochure_coming_out.html
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out
And if the friends you have are really your friends, they'll be your friends even if they know you're gay or bi. Real friends like you no matter what.
Good luck!
2006-06-12 18:28:04 · answer #1 · answered by chicks_dig_unix 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well gaycowboy, you have a few hard years ahead of you, your only a schoolboy as yet so don't be too keen to come out yet, you need to plan how your going to announce you coming out and that's not easy,what are your parents like will they still except you and if they don't where you gonna live, you could be going down the path of utter despair, If I was you I would wait until I finished school/education, if your going on to college or uni do it then but tell your parents first, then select which of your friends you will tell, once you tell a couple of your friends then pretty soon all the others will know, remember no matter what there are a lot of hateful homophobic out there, some of your current friends will turn on you but that's not so important as they were never your real friends in the first place. all I can add without chatting to you face to face is good luck hope you make it.
2006-06-13 03:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can come out of the closet at any time. FIRST, you need to create or find a support system. This could be soley friends, or a combination of friends and family who you "know" support you and your freedom. This might mean the loss of a few good friends who you "thought" were friends, but you need time to develop good friendships with people you know are gay, or atleast liberated in some way who can help you locally cope.
You will also need a place to go to socialize. Coming out and then having no place to go can be oppressive, so find places you can be free.
Lastly, take your time coming out. Find your own speed and tell people who can keep secrets and people you trust. Start communicating your thoughts to yourself first, journal how you feel and read it back to yourself out loud.
Write a letter to yourself explaining how you feel and why you want to come out. Ask yourself if you are ready. When you can accomplish all these things, then you are ready to begin your coming out process, because it is a process.
2006-06-13 20:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by PJ M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you are in the south, Charlotte is a big city, highly populated with a diverse group of people. I can see that your screen name is GayCowboy, I watched Brokeback Mountain a couple of times myself. Please just make sure that you are 100% gay. If you are then it should not be all that hard for you to come out. So what if you lose a few friends...You might gain a few as well.
2006-06-13 02:22:31 · answer #4 · answered by Shay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I don't think there is any easy answer for 'coming out.' I think you are taking the right first steps - finding safe "spaces" where you can discuss the issue with others who face or have faced the same problem. I think all the other answers have covered the subject, but have you tried the gay youth chat at gay.com or planetout.com or the gay youth group on yahoo? I think you might find people there who are going through the same experience. Finally, you mentioned you are in Charlotte N.C., have you tried your local GLBT center? here is their site:http://www.gaycharlotte.com/ check them out and see if they have a gay youth social group, even if you do not find your bf, you can still find some friends. good luck.
2006-06-13 06:33:21 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your mouth shut and your actions to your self until you are ready to be on your own! You do not need a bunch of rednecks chasing you down. And I don't care what you think, even your Best Friends will tell someone, who will tell.....and the whole school will know it soon enough (about 10 minutes after you tell your friend. ) This is info you do not need to share with anyone, your family included. There is plenty of time after you have moved to a big city. Hand in there and know that you have lots of friends waiting for you .
2006-06-13 01:23:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, NC cannot be as homophobic as Hawaii. There are small towns and stuff that would make your business the whole towns business. I feel that if they are really your friends, they will accept you for who you are. Also family may be disapointed, but they will get over it. Just be open and honest, then you can relax and be yourself. Good luck!
2006-06-13 04:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by got_mulan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 16, in high-school, and also in the process of fully coming out. One thing I can tell you is you should maybe start small. Think if there's anyone who you could trust knowing you're gay and could try to help you through it. I was very lucky when I found a teacher who I could talk to. He was the first person I told I was gay, and he listened to me as I eplained my fears of what other people would think and do once they found out. He helped me through what seemed like HELL. And after telling him, just one person, I was gay, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. Yes, waiting until you're out of school, move out, and then tell everyone that you're gay is an option, but remember that it is not the only one. The problem with most people and homophobia is that they don't understand, but trust me, there are a great many people who will try. If you're straight, it's easy to talk about gay people, and makes jokes about them, simply because you don't understand the life of being gay. Your parents may seem homophobic, but things change when you come out. Having a gay child could force them to cahnge their outlook. But I do agree with being cautious. There are people out there who will act very negatively about being gay, your parents included. Just keep reminding yourself that they are the ones with the problem, not you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck.
2006-06-13 03:05:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ynot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well buddy..you have to do it only when your ready, and willing to take the after shocks of it. Expect people to be in shock...many will say they knew..but expect people to not know how to take it. And if you loose any friends over it...than you dont' need them...because a friend will except you for who ever you are. They like you now...your still gay, the only difference is they will know that but your still the same guy. And if you loose any family over it...well they are the ones that have the problem..not you. Its scary and can be rough...but you will feel alot better after you do it. Good luck bro
2006-06-13 02:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by fatednightwolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what people say or think, because they are to worried about what you think of them. Live your life to the hilt and love to the core. If you feel happy being gay, then get some counseling and make an adult decision, instead of just lusting for a boyfriend. No matter what they say after you come out, keep your self respect and happiness in tack. You are the only one who has to live with your decision.
2006-06-13 01:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by dollarbill2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋