We married 16-years ago after dating for two years. We married sooner than we planned because we were pregnant. The marriage started off badly because I still dearly loved a woman whom I had dated for eight years prior to my marriage. I resented my wife for getting pregnant - which was my immaturity. During the marriage we had financial problems and we had horrific fights - name calling, threats of divorce, intimidation tactics, etc. But we managed to do some fun things together and we had a great sex life. But things contiuned to sour. Then we both started to have extra-marital affairs. And then we started to withdraw emotionally. We tried to work it out but we decided to split up. I still care for her and she does for me but we caused so much pain in each others lives over the years. Now we took vows that said for better or worst, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part. We had all of the aforementioned. When does a couple quit?
2006-06-12 18:15:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When the marriage gets to a point and there is no possible way or sign for reconcilliation and the couple has did all they can to try and help and work on the marriage and there is ABSOLUTELY no hope then that is the only time a couple should quite and the Bible is very clear on the reasons for divorce which are adultery and fornication and if the unbelieving spouse wants out of the marriage. I personally also feel that a person should divorce in extreme abuse cases. You both need counseling and help and have you done any of this yet if i may ask? http://www.marriagetoday.org is a great website and so is http://www.marriagebuilders.com I am here to help in any way that i can and I will be praying for you and your marriage! To me it is worth at least trying to save this marriage!
2006-06-12 23:12:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give each other some space for awhile --- then forgive each others shortcomings and let go of the resentment of her getting pregnant --- you are also responsible for not doing your own birth control --it takes two to make a baby and two people are equally responsible for birth control---- you wanted the good time and probably thought she will be on the pill --- wrong thinking --- and that seems to be the one thing that has really hurt this marriage ---- wrong thinking! You stated the sex was great but you held her responsible for getting pregnant - and this thinking has made your lives miserable--- get rid of that thought --- it's had way too much power in your lives already --- set your mind upon correcting your thoughts of past events. Your marriage sounds salvageable - take all that past garbage and bury it --- do this by writing down all that bad stuff --- and then burn that paper up --- it's over the past can't be changed but you two sure can have a bright new future and re-bond day by day....get some marriage counseling too!
2006-06-12 18:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.... I never been married, so my advice may be pointless to you. But, all marriages have problems, and as bad as your relationship sounds, there are couples who gone through worse but still managed to be together. I guess what I'm trying to say is a couple should end the marriage when they no longer love each other and don't want to try to work it out. You may still care for her, but if you don't love her anymore to try to work it out and vice versa, then maybe getting a divorce is the best thing to do. Hope this helps.
2006-06-12 18:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by hpotter4ever2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you can care for someone and not be married to them. It sounds like you guys have a lot of water under the bridge and you two were pretty toxic to each other. I think if you guys were going to get back together you would both have to want it and definetely do the counseling thing. It is ok to get divorced and still be friends, it would be great for your kids to not be around all the fighting Im sure.
2006-06-12 18:22:38 · answer #4 · answered by derbygurl18 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple quits when both of them stop trying. If you both aren't willing to communicate and work together to make your marriage better - to make a marriage you both love and cherish - then thats it. A marriage takes 2 people in order to work.
If you want to make it work it sounds like you could both really benefit from some marriage counseling.
2006-06-12 18:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now....you broke your vows a lon time ago when you cheated on each other. be friends go your seperate ways let your children know that you love them but that the two of you can't live together anymore. stop wasting time , go out and live your lives happy just make sure you keep your children involved in both your lives.
2006-06-12 18:20:12 · answer #6 · answered by silly girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two should give up. You were still in love with someone else when you got married, and i guarantee you've thought about that constantly over the years. If your hearts not in it, it's time to give up. I think you both need to find someone else.
2006-06-12 22:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by smurfette_au2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When 2 people are no longer friends and dont like to be seen in public with each other
2006-06-12 18:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by heauser1965 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the "THE END" has come up on the screen long time ago what you see are just the name of the people who helped making this life and not such important people at that the lights are up just get up and leave
2006-06-12 18:26:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you both started having extra-marital affairs, that was the end
2006-06-12 18:21:51 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋