We never married, have a 7 yo boy together. When we fuss about the child, I end up questioning my own thoughts. He has neglected him in the past and had visitation modified per my request. I work full time as a professional, have the child full time, encourage visitation with his dad, me present. His dad has no friends, I have many. We had a fuss in the school lot months ago because he was late to pick the child up so the school called me to come and pick him up, I was upset and stated in the parking lot that when he was not drinking he was having withdrawal and when he was drinking he was drunk and needed to decide on the alcohol or his child. Well we were at an outing and my son told him that I don't let him call his dad because he was drunk in front of an older boy.not so. Now he's blaming me saying that I have caused irrrevok. damage to his relationship with his child. I admit saying this and know my son repeated it to him. Now I feel like I should be in the DOG HOUSE. ANY HELP
2006-06-12 16:15:09 · 9 answers · asked by lanakay s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Stop rationalizing his behavior. You clinically fit the description of an enabler. You need to go to AA for families. There is no such thing as a functional addict. No matter what paycheck they bring home, they are always disfunctional.
2006-06-12 16:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by legal&sane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A Functional alcholic ,is disfunctional when it come to any kind of relationship,as much as we'd like to help them we can't until they want to help them selves.Your child will grow to see for himself and you don't have to be the bad guy.Keep the negativity to your self even tho you know whats to come and just be supportive to your son and make sure he dont fall into the same pattern. children are lead by example, you sound like you leading a good one. He's young and dont understand now but he will and respect you for it later.
2006-06-12 23:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by angelw/brkwingcrookedhalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. I was married to a drunk for 17 years, until he left us. I was lucky in that he moved 2000 miles away. but the kids always suffer. I have never gotten over my parents divorce in 1959.
America, we don't need another divorce!!
2006-06-12 23:22:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen that guy is an ***. he drinks, doesnt take care of the kid, and is irresponsible. it would be differnt if he drank and realized he wouldnt be a suitable dad but he made the comitment. you are doing nothing wrong. every child should spend time with their father. i didnt rele get to and im dissappointed that me and my dad dont ahve a good relationship. keep doing what your doing and dont blame yourself
2006-06-12 23:18:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your doing the right thing. Hes a child and does not understand the situation. Your the parent, he'll get over it.
2006-06-12 23:19:54 · answer #5 · answered by Mz.H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An alcoholic does not have the capacity to rationalize until they stop drinking....end of story.
2006-06-12 23:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Amy P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to argue with him when he's been drinking. Just pick up your son, and talk to him later. Good luck.
2006-06-12 23:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't rationalize anything to an alcoholic, functioning or not. and you should not allow him to manipulate you into feeling bad or guilty for doing what you think is right either. that's just my opinion though.
2006-06-12 23:18:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u cant
2006-06-12 23:17:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋