How should we deal with pre-pubescent children that display evident homosexual behavior?

Question

Many homosexuals and non-homosexuals alike agree that the majority of homosexuals are born gay, and discover these as children or adolescents. Should we encourage young gay children, in the hope that they will build strong self esteem that will help them get over social pressures as teenagers and adults? Or should we discourage their behavior in the hope that they will adapt to society and their peers? Or should we leave it alone and wait until they are sexually active?

Answer 1

Leave them alone and just love them. Build their self esteem, yes, but allow them to choose their own sexual orientation when they're ready to do so. The problem isn't with the children. It's with the adults and society who think that those same little ones are a problem.

Answer 2

Number one -- there is no such thing as evident homosexual behavior in a prepubescent child. There are behaviors that some people, including obviously you -- view as GENDER INAPPROPRIATE. That is NOT the same thing as homosexual. Homosexuals are often totally gender appropriate. I played with GI Joes and fought wars as a little boy, and was (and still am) an avid sci-fi/fantasy person and Dungeons and Dragons player as a teen. I was also out at 14. My lover would never be guessed by anyone. Neither would several of our gay friends. So the fact that the boy is gentle and effeminate does NOT make him gay.

That said.

I think all children should be encouraged to be themselves, to believe in themselves, and to love one another. If people stopped finding different excuses to teach their children to hate, under the guise of teaching them what's "right and wrong" then racism, sexism and homophobia would all fade away in a generation, and the world WOULD be a better place.

Leave them alone, and encourage them to believe in and care for themselves and care about others.

That alone will benefit everyone.

Regards,

Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org

Answer 3

My partner and I lead boring lives, we like to watch documentaries. One such documentary profiled a family -- mother divorced and remarried, biological father still in the child's life. Well this little fella, I believe was about 6 or 7 years old, already designing fashions, I don't even know a 7 year old girl who can put on a surong (probably misspelled it). They did try to flood him with sports and other "manly" things. They decided it would probably do more damage to try and "change" his behavior. They are allowing him to lead his life and having conversations with him about his sexuality. And he is one cute 7 year old drag queen. He said the kids at school ask him questions and sometimes he answers them and sometimes he doesn't -- I guess it depends on the question. Although the parents live in a geographical area that is very "religious", the 3 of them have decided to leave him alone.

I believe the best thing any parent can do is assist the child in having a positve self image of him or herself. When we try to make the child in the image of other children, we are not teaching the child to be themselves, however to behave like other children - aka -- identity. I wouldn't want my child to pattern themselves after their peers -- self identification is more important then "adapting" to what society thinks a person should be. I always ask people "what are the first to letters in society -- S-O" . So what if someone is differente from what society thinks --that's the problem.

Society thought Native Americans were savages
Society thought Africans where only fit to be slaves and couldn't learn to read or write or comprehend what it is to vote.
Society thought that African-American football players could not quaterback or coach in the NFL
Society thinks that GLBT couples would not be successful adoptive parents.

What does society know? Not much, just that they believe that all of society should think like them

Answer 4

if you are under the impression that people are born homosexual, then i would say you should allow them to explore their emerging sexuality. neither encourage nor discourage them. essentially treat them as you would any heterosexual child. i am a gay 21 year old and that is what my parents did for me. honestly i feel like i am extremely lucky. many of my gay friends have horrible relationships with their parents because they had no support when they displayed any behavior other than the heterosexual norm while they were growing up.

Answer 5

How can a prepubescent child exhibit homosexual behaviour? But if you believe your child is exhibiting such behavior, then do not condemn the child.

Children will experiment until they find what is right for them.

Be accepting. My parents were accepting of my heterosexuality, and understood while I experimented. I know its easier to accept the "norm", but what is the norm anymore?

Children have enough suffering ahead of them, especially when they hit puberty, and if you want your children to be able to come to you with any issue, you must accept.

Think about when you were growing up and try to do what you would have wanted done for you!

Answer 6

We would be best served by raising these childrenn the same way all childre should ideally be raised in a loving, caring, stable environment and not encourage them to act straight or gay, but let the children discover an appropriate gender identity of their own.

Answer 7

I don’t believe that sexual behavior should be encouraged at young ages. However, it is important that children know about sex, and the consequences. Who they have sex with, whether it be male/female should really be up to the person.

The key is to ensure that the child understand that the parents are there for them, and will love them no matter what. It’s important to keep and open dialogue so that if they are in fact gay that the parents can be there for them.

Answer 8

WE do not have to either encourage or discourage anything. We need to provide an atmosphere that is non-judgmental to all kids, not just gays or straights...all. There is no point in discouraging any sexuality, it cannot be changed. It is the constant bigotry that is the problem. Do gay kids, or adults, really bother anyone??? not that I have noticed.

Answer 9

i dont know if peolpe are born gay ....but i dont think encouraging people to be gay is a good thing either , i think the best way to deal with this is to create an environment that offers support and tolerance , so if they turn out to be gay they will know they are accepted and supported. people shouldnt be pushed to be homosexuals or heterosexuals, they will decide on their own when the time is right for them

Answer 10

Let them have an identity. Explain the same things that you would teach any child, teach them to love and respect people, all people. Teach them that there are many different people in this world, teach them to stand up for whats wright, and not to bash someone because they have a different belief, we can not change who we are nor who our children will grow up to be, we can only love them, protect them, teach them...and hope they take all of that with them into the adult world.