Last night a gay couple invited me over to their place after meeting them at gay bar and they just wanted to have sex with me, I was uncomfortable with everything they did that I had to push myself out the door. They told me sorry for the situation. I do not want to meet up with them ever again. Why did they invite me over just to have sex? Am I a loser in not joining in with them? The guy told me that I was the first guy not to kiss him goodbye - should I have kissed the guy goodbye? I am confused about everything right now. I cannot find a boyfriend and any relationship that I have ends up a week later saying "I don't think a relationship would work out between us", or It never "clicked". Why can't I find a boyfriend? Am I too not gay educated or something? Is something wrong with me? Is gay relationships all about sex? I am starting to wish I was asexual so I wouldn't have to worry about any dating ****.
2006-06-12 14:56:14 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hey sweetie...don't let some gay cowboys break your back because they wanted a 3 some and you were not interested...if he wanted a kiss...he should have kissed his boyfriend. You did the right thing if you felt uncomfortable, they would have tossed you to the curb once they got the sex...play it safe, your morals are better than that and you flew the coop, good luck my friend!!!
PS do you know anything about Canon 20D digital cameras???
2006-06-12 21:14:33 · answer #1 · answered by joy ride 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up just learn to screen your invitations , some gay relationships are open relationships where each person is allowed to see other people and have sex outside the relationship . There are also relationships where the couple will meet someone at a gay bar and invite them over for a threesome , where they couple both have sex with the third . Then there is the monogamous relationship where they are only with each other and no one shares . I have been in a monogamous relationship for 15 yrs. and I have never cheated on my partner . If you meet someone you like and start dating you will know on the first date if you click or not . Let your date do a lot of the talking and you do a lot of the listening , if he is a liar or a jerk you will soon find out just by letting him talk . Never sleep with anyone on the first date make them wait for it , if they stick around you will know they like you for you . And no you shouldn't have slept with those jerks nor should you kiss them good night . They were just trying to take advantage of your youth they knew that you were naive . There are some nice gay men out there just watch out who you associate with . Take everything they say with a grain of salt .You will be fine just always assume that everyone you meet is trying to get in your pants and let them prove you wrong .
2006-06-13 01:13:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are doing just fine. Being gay is not all about sex. Sometimes it is very hard to find a Boyfriend. Sometimes when you aren't looking you find one. Experience is only gained by you. You didn't have to kiss the guy goodbye. He was just h.orny or something. Maybe he thought you were coming on to him in some way. Don't worry about that. Just more Gay Experience.
I am 26 years old and I have been in and out of relationships. I haven't figured it out yet. Even though I thought I knew everything there was. There is always something new to learn. Just hold your own, keep your head up high and never never lower your standards. Not for anyone.
Good luck to you. I know you'll do well. God Bless.
2006-06-19 12:43:57 · answer #3 · answered by Boy Wonder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now I'm confused. If you're gay, what did you expect to find at a gay bar- if not what were you doing there? Did they not explain why they wanted to take you home? Did you push yourself out the door after the sex? I think you're worried more about meeting them than they are about you. Just a misunderstanding which they probably shrugged off and already forgot. If you want a boyfriend try online, get acquainted, have things in common and then meet in person like straight couples do. Found the woman of my dreams that way.
2006-06-12 22:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by da maestro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're perfectly normal. Some guys (gay or straight) or simply driven only by sex. You obviously aren't. Myself, I consider it a faulty relationship if a third person has to be introduced for the couple to be happy. And while it is possible to find someone decent at a bar, it isn't likely. Online dating services aren't bad. I met my first serious boyfriend that way. We broke up after 8 months, but he was a good boyfriend overall (for the first 5 months, anyway). Sometimes they just fall into your lap. My boyfriend now is like that. After my last breakup, he just randomly showed up with one of my friends one day...and we fell for each other on sight.
I've been through a couple crazy boyfriends, too. My first was like your case. We dated for about a week, and then he decided he didn't feel anything for me, really. A few months later he decided he was madly in love with me and wanted to try again. A week later he didn't want to spend any time with me. It can be rough. The right guy is out there, though. Lots of them are.
2006-06-12 22:44:16 · answer #5 · answered by sailordelta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let one bad experience ruin everything for you! You will have a lot of ups and downs, im impressed that you actually want a "relationship" because a lot of gay men ARE just into sex! My best friend is that way, he can't stand commitement, he doesn't know how to deal with it! There is nothing wrong with you! And you should always do whats in your heart, but seriously, what did you expect to find at the bar? A little tip for next time when you go to a bar, lay down your grounds when you meet someone! And ask them what they are into, maybe that will save you from the embarassment next time!
2006-06-12 22:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by munkypoo1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jonathan and I have been together almost 15 years. We have a far stabler relationship than any of the straight people that we are friends with -- and those friends would verify what I just said.
However, to be fair, I never tried to meet people at gay events or places. I had a few "ice princess" friends that I went dancing with and so forth -- but my lovers have always just come to me. I've been out since I was 14, so anyone interested knew I was gay even if they weren't out.
Jonathan and I met at the gaming table (Dungeons and Dragons) -- a year before we got together. I had no idea he was gay -- or interested.
What can I say to you. You must do what you feel is right, but no, it isn't all about sex -- though perhaps the people you are finding are.
E-mail me if you need to talk.
I hope it helped.
Regards,
Reynolds Jones
Schenectady, NY
http://www.rebuff.org
believeinyou24@yahoo.com
2006-06-12 22:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people (gay and straight alike) go to the bar to meet someone for either a one night-stand, a possible partner, or to just get drunk with other people around. so (sorry to sound rude), ya should have seen that one coming as at least a possibility. as for not being able to find a boyfriend, or at least a long term one, many people have that problem for one reason or another. basically, you have to keep trying. if you quit, you just flat out lose all together. as for being gay educated, I'm not that much educated there either, so don't feel so bad. as for all gay relationships being about sex alone, many (not all) relationships are just about sex (both hetero and homo). we aren't as different from our straight brothers and sisters of the world.
plus, you didn't have to kiss the guy on your way out. but then again, i could be a blind teacher leading a blind student on that subject.
2006-06-13 00:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by gaygoddevil 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With some gay people, it is just about sex. However, men are promiscuous by nature...not just gay men. It's just that in the gay community, they are all men. That makes the level of promiscuity much higher than other groups.
There are guys that aren't like that out there. Sometimes, it takes a while to meet someone to date and have a relationship. Relax. It's much better to take your time meeting someone than jumping into a relationship that may not make you happy.
It will all work out, I'm sure. Just keep a positive attitude and concentrate on what you require in a guy instead of what a guy requires in you.
2006-06-12 22:18:03 · answer #9 · answered by huhwhat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, you sound a lot like me, especially a me when I was just a few years younger. actually you sound like some of the my straight friends too. basically its like this you will meet lots of people you are wrong for you and only 1 or 2 that are right for you at anygiven time. because of the law of averages you are bound to meet more of the people that are worng for you than the ones that are right for you. Think of it this way most of the people that are wrong for you are actually just as confused as you, confusion is part of the human condition. Try thinking of it this way isn't better for them to tell you that they're wrong for you right away rather than you figure it out too late, not that that makes you feel better at the time. But you are not alone, and there isn't anything wrong with you, other than the fact that you're human. Gay relationships are not just about sex but if you stumble across some of the wrong ones its easy to think that. Try to look at it this way, it helped me a little, its a process of elimination, with each person that you eliminate the less people that stand between you and mr. right.
2006-06-12 23:14:25 · answer #10 · answered by sooziebeaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋