Lately, I have been feeling like everytime I get close to one of my best friends, I get this nerve or feeling that I need to push them away otherwise I will be worrying that I will get hurt. I have had a bit of a bad past (but I won't go into details) and I think that it is the reason why I am so scared to get close whenever my friends and I get in a fight. Can any of you help me fix this?
2006-06-12 14:48:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You need to face your feelings of abandonment. I would guess that you were hurt by someone that you put your trust in. It is hard to deal with it, I know. There is no easy answer. Everyone is different and true friends still are friends even if they fight. You are pushing people away before they get the chance to do it to you. It is your defense mechanism aginst being hurt again. Pick the one person you feel the closest to and make them your best friend. When you feel comfortable with them then open up to another person. Take your time and you can learn to trust again. You will probably get hurt again at some point in the future, it is part of being alive, but it is how you handle it that will make you a stronger person.
2006-06-12 15:01:27 · answer #1 · answered by harryt62 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is not un normal, specially if you have "a bad past". You just have to chose a good friend who you can trust more than others and try to get a bit closer... and do not get scare... my husband is like that, when ever he gets a bit close to some one he back off and tell me that " oh I am getting to close to this person" and if that person is a good person I would say that it is OK and he must not worry... and I tell you the same thing...
and also go for a consulting is good.
but just tell your self that being close to a good friend is good... and nothing is going to happened if you think + then + things will happened
good luck
2006-06-12 21:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat your friends well. Let them talk when they need to. Try not to be clingy and overly needy. Try a new hobby, sport or pastime and ask your friend if they want to learn with you.
Remember that your friend will do and say things which reflect how they think and feel. It's less about you than you may think. Be a friend for your friend and help them with what they are dealing with.
God Bless You, ;-)
2006-06-12 22:39:39 · answer #3 · answered by Deena 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better trust your self first...come to think of it...that person would have been allowing himself get close toyou if they dont trust you..better not to worry much cause it may lead to something...life is full of unexplainanble things...they can hurt us, but definitely a lesson will be learned from them..if you will continue leaning on your past experiences and acquiring it to your present...what a waste?!you're only wasting your emotions and time thinking of the things that should be preventable...
go on gurl!!!...love and get hurt...get hurt and learn...learn and love again...it's a cycle..and don't dare stop until you find sum1 that will go on to the cycle with you!
2006-06-12 22:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by angelsiege11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to change your perspective of it....or talk to your close friend about it....she may be able to help....i understand how u feel...i pushed ppl away too....it ended up hurting my friend....but she kept acting the same and kept asking me if i was okay....at the end i gave up....coz i felt so bad that i did that to her even though she didn't do anything wrong....don't get into that situation...
2006-06-12 22:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by blue_bee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally know how you feel
I'm the same way
and it's kinda hard sometimes but you need to ask yourself if you really trust this person or not
go with your instinct
i know that sounds inda cheesy but it works
2006-06-12 21:54:20 · answer #6 · answered by DaveyHavokIsTheSex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Details are needed in this kind of problem
2006-06-12 21:52:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anthony4Christ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something you have to work through and learn how to trust people again.
2006-06-12 21:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by rachellynn200 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Madame, i could help if you emailed me. You could personally explain some of you past and i could tell you the psycology behind it.
2006-06-12 21:52:51 · answer #9 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i too used to have that problem....what i did was i just buried the fealing deep down and trusted them....after a while you will forget about the fealing and it will be gone.
2006-06-12 22:04:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋