When Father's Day threatens to be meaningless...?

Question

My dad died when I was 11, and I don't think I ever gave him a Father's Day card. His dad died when I was around 14, and my mother's dad died way before I was born. So Father's Day was essentially meaningless, although once in a while I bought a Father's Day card and displayed it on the piano. Then my sisters started having kids and my brothers-in-law were the recipients. But now all the couples are separated: two are involved with the kids, one isn't, and none are that close to me. My uncles are dead, and my cousins aren't close enough to me for a card. Once or twice I gave one to my brother, though he isn't a father. Last year I found an e-card that reminded me of my Dad, and sent it to my siblings.

So: 1) What might I do this year for a more meaningful Father's Day?
2) Who out there has the same dilemma I do, and wants to share his/her story?

Answer 1

I am blessed to still have my father but I can empathize with your situation, and I have an idea that could bless you and some other needy folks. There are many dads in hospitals and nursing homes that have lost their daughters, and would welcome contact from anyone on that day. There's probably nothing nicer you could do with your energy and time than arrange to show up at a nursing home with a generic card and some time on your hands, and offer to chat with someone who'd like to be wished a happy Father's Day. They would love to share about their children, and to listen about your day. It could be a celebration of those who've touched your lives and moved on.

Blessings for a *Happy Father's Day,"
~Tia~
Live from the big, purple brain
http://advision.webevents.yahoo.com/asktheplanet/brain.html

Answer 2

First of all, I am sorry about your loss. Additionally, like any holiday, it is what you make of it. Because society dictates that there will be a holiday on a given day at a given time, that does not necessarily mean that you too need to celebrate it. One of my dear friends was never a father. On that weekend, usually his brithday weekend, he goes to Vegas to celebrate with his friends. When people wish him "Happy Father's Day," he just politely says, "thank you." If he is in a pissy mood, he will wish them a happy father's day as well. This gets particularly confusing when it is women in customer service that are wished a happy fathers day. In summary, make it what you want it to be. Try not to trivialize it. There are no "Father's Day Police" that go around monitoring how or if people celebrate this day.

Answer 3

My dad died several years ago and I often daydream about having an opportunity to be with him on father's day or just send him a card. I envy people with dads on that special day...)(

Answer 4

I think u should go and visit his grave and maybe write your father letters that you think you would've told him if he was still alive. I have a friend whose father died when she was young and her mother encouraged her to write him a letter or card on fathers day every year about what took place in her life at those moments. when she was done she buried it in different places he used to take her believing that he would somehow read it. it gave her alot of closure and she does not dwell on his life but celebrates it in a way. its not too late to start.

Answer 5

vist your father's grave , gave him flowers and a card and have a long conversation with him, tell him how your life turn out. ps both of my parterent were killed when i was 12, i try to vist there grave every couople of years even though i live in a diffrent state.

Answer 6

If you really want to make someones day,Go to your local nursing home and visit an old man without any company. I don't know it it will make you feel better, but I bet it would him.

Answer 7

Do something special for yourself. That's all a dad no longer around should want.