why is being a submissive wife such a bad thing anymore?

Question

I have to admit that i wait on my husband hand and foot. i cook all his meals,iron his uniform, do his laundry, i clean up after him, i get him something to drink or eat when he is watching tv, if we are at a cookout or something like that then i make his plate so he doesnt have to stop what he is doing, he never has to do anything at home. the problem i run into is my friends seem to think that i am nuts and need a wake up call. what exactly is wrong with pampering your husband and meeting all of his needs. He has the final say in every decision around my house and what he says goes. when did it become a bad thing to "serve" your husband. is there anyone else out there who shares the same views as me???

Answer 1

I like to serve my husband but NOT because he tells me too. It is great feel so needed but I would never consider myself submissive... why would you even describe your self that way? The reason why people look down on submissive wives is becasue no one deserves to be bossed around and treated like a slave, so when you see someone doing that you have to wonder what the hell is wrong wit them? Do nice things for your man becasue you love him..not becasue he makes you!

Answer 2

I did not read the other answers but from me to you there is nothing wrong with doing what you are doing so long as it pleases you. The popular opinion is the opposite by your fellow women that have sought to be independent and do for themselves. You did not mention the things he does for you and those are the private cute little things that they gave up when all wives liberated themselves and had to be the backbone of whatever. The man and woman have done the things that you and your hubby do for a long time through our history. It worked very well and whether it was equal or not it worked. Most women were happy and most men were happy. The ones that were unhappy set out to change things for everyone not taking into consideration that most might be happy where they are. If you look on the faces of the women that are "liberated" and now they have no husbands to push them around, but look at them and you see something missing. They wanted the mans role so badly or to change it they lost the woman's role or how it was supposed to be. They need to face it there are two genders and there is nothing we can do about that. The more waves they make the more they separate and drive distance between the two. That is a lot to tell you God bless you for realizing what makes you happy and not following the rest of the world. I believe that you and your husband have a very special thing. Protect it and live it as it does not matter anyone else's opinion. I hope you guys a long and prosperous marriage. Good for you.

Answer 3

You & Dr. Laura .. haha .. j/k !

I read her book though "The proper care and feeding of your husband " ( or something like that ) and it really opened my mind to the whole husband/wife role.

I think in some ways you're right .. the woman does play a major role in the household as far as cooking, cleanning, child barer ... etc ... but now a days women are looking to "serve" themselves.

By being independent - wanting their own things in life to enjoy. Not everyone needs a man in their life !

I think it's a little more "old fashion" these days for the woman to "serve" their husbands. I know a few ladies that love doing things for their husbands - and as long as their husbands are happy then they're happy.

Nothing wrong with it .. just the way you choose to live your life. I'm sure lots of guys would love a wife like that .. !

Answer 4

there is nothing wrong with being submissive to your husband. In fact the bible does say that wives should submit to your husbands. Remember the bible was talking about christian people. If God is the head of your husband then it is not a problem to be submissive to him. If on the other hand your husband treats you less than a human being then it is a problem. I am divorced, but I have always said that I do not mind pampering my husband as long as I see that he works hard and he treats me right. If your husband does right by you, if he loves the Lord, if you are still your own person and not lost in his shadow, if your husband loves you with all his heart and you can see it, then continue to pamper him. Don't listen to your friends. Usually they are just jealous that they are not in a similar relationship. In the bible the women took care of all the household needs and the man took care of the outside. God bless.

Answer 5

It is not a bad thing if you are o.k. with it. I just wonder whether you have any other of your own interests -- aside from him -- to focus your attention on. Personally, my life is quite filled with my own activities, interests, people, to be at my husband's beck and call 24/7. I do believe, however, that some women simply do not have any other interests aside from being a wife and mother, and find total fulfillment in those roles. I personally -- though wanting to be a good wife and mother -- have other interests which preclude my being satisfied solely with the "waiting on the hubby hand and foot" role. A couple questions: Do you work outside the home? Have a career? A hobby? Other friends? If not, don't you want to?

Answer 6

um, no. You are his equal, not his slave, and should be treated as such. Do you not get sick of waiting on him hand and foot? Would you not like your own life? And I am sorry, but he is more than capable of fixing his own plate! Does he pamper you and cater to every one of your needs? I doubt it.... Yes, there is a certain satisfaction in seeing your partner enjoy somethng you have done (for example, if you cook him a nice meal, or iron his clothes for the next morning), but you do not need to do it 24/7 for him! He hasnt got a wife, he has a mother (with bonuses)... And as for him having the final decision, and what he says goes- speak up for yourself woman! Grow a bloody backbone! Sayng all that, as long as you are happy, then who are we to say how you should live your life?

Answer 7

Im with you girlfrend.I do those things also.But my husbend doesnt lord it over me,he treats me the same way.If every one would treat eachother with the same curtesy and put eachother first,what a better wourld this would be.My husbend goes to work all day busts his butt to provide for us.It was our desision for me to stay at home and take care of our home and be there for our children,so i love to wait on him,iron his cloths,bring him a cup of coffee.If i dont do this for him now and then he doesnt bulk at me or miss treat me.I want the best for him and he me.I also here it from others that disagree with our treatment of eachother,i guess maybe theyed like to see us mistreat each other like they do their spouses.If youd mind,ill guess that you also serve The Lord,and either military or police.Its callled love and respect most people dont know what that is or how to live it so you go girl!
As far as i can tell us women started the equile rights movement,took it much to far now the word submissive is a dirty word.Being submisive doesnt mean alouwing others to mistreat us,Thats another thing altogether.HUsbeds are the head of the house,there has to be a boss in all estableshments.We make desitions together but he has the say.There is order to things.People are rebellious in all areas of life and this is one of them.We want to be our own gods.Answer to no one.That way we can be free to do what we want without punishment or feeling wrong or bad.Oh what tangled webs we weave for our selves.

Answer 8

Does he do nice things for you, and "meet all of your needs"? What if you disagree with a decision he's made? Don't you think that you deserve a say in your life?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make your husband happy, as long as it's reciprocated. Your friends are worried that you're being taken advantage of. You are his wife and his partner, not his servant. If you're truly happy with your marriage, then I guess there isn't a problem. I just don't personally hold the same philosophy.

Answer 9

I agree 100% although I can't find a man that feels that way. Women who honor their traditional roles have the best lives. I don't see anything to admire about a woman who spends all her time at work and little time with her children and husband (if she even bothered to marry and have kids as most likely she has chosen to be "in a relationship" rather than marriage. But hey guys love that, free sex and no committment. These career women never spend time taking care of their homes, families, and husbands, heck they focus all their energy on their careers.. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing but the modern woman has messed it up for everyone because she had to find herself. All she has found is endless relationships, worrying about her biological clock because she waited till 45 to have children, and all her time is spent meeting her employers needs. Don't worry about what anyone says, I would rather wait on my husband (If I ever find one ) than be a slave to my employer everyday.

Answer 10

peronally that isn't me and I could to it. I have alot of males friends and none of them want a female lie that and some ay that when women are like that you tend to do things they normally would casue they feel that they can get away with it. But not all me are like an d I am sure dome men want that. So to each its own if it works for you two and you are both happy. I might not agree but I can't judge, Question is is who waits on you hand and foot, becasue there is a level of equallty that should be there.Also, is this hey way you wants you daughters and to be and wat you want your sons to look for? If so as long as he treats you like gold and platnium and you two relationship is on point that, go head sister.