How do I deal with a potential sister in law that hates me dating her brother?

Question

The soon to be sister in law introduced me to her brother and we have been datinge ever since. After we started dating she did a 180 on us and now hates us and tell us that we have ruined her life. We have tried talking to her, including her in events, and she is rude to everyone and specifically targets me as the evil doer. Any suggestions on how to deal with someone who makes family events miserable? We are talking about marriage and I fear what she will do once she finds this out.

Answer 1

I am in a similiar situation.

My someday soon-to-be sister inlaw is very irritating to me. She is Very judgemental, opinionated and I wouldnt be surprised if she hates the idea of us someday getting married. So, needless to say, I really understand your situation. Now what to do... I will give you the best advice I can, even though I havent yet solved my own situation.
First of All ~ Always remain focused on your man and on your relationship with him. He is the one you are with.
At family Events ~ Try finding someone else that you can hang out with and/or relate to. Or, spend extra time in the Kitchen helping with food preps or other busy work. Be Helpful. If she is mean to you then she will look like a real loser. You will look great cooking, helping etc.
Hope these tips help. Best wishes to you. Be yourself I am sure that is good enough. OH & don't worry too much, most of what we worry about never actually Happens!!!

Answer 2

Ok I can relate to this SO well.. My first boyfriend had an overly clingy way-too-close-to-him sister. She hated me from Day 1 because I took her precious brother away from her. It seems you have made quite an effort to include her and be friendly with her. Don't stop doing that, no matter how hard it is because she won't be able to say you never did anything for her. You should have someone talk to her if you don't think she'll listen to you. She needs to know that this is your life and your relationship and it is very immature and juvenile to act that way at events. Be sure your boyfriend is included in this as well.

Answer 3

If you and him are truly serious about starting a life together then your best bet is ignore her. If she chooses to act like this consider it her loss. Stop putting so much effort into her. She will feed on this and continue her behavior just to aggravate you. Stop inviting her to things and just stop talking to her all together. I know this sounds harsh, but it may make her stop and think that if she continues acting like a brat then she is going to alienate her brother and lose out on what could be a great friendship with you. She will more than likely come around. Just don't let her think that her behavior is affecting you at all. Some people thrive on conflict for some reason and she may just be one of those people. If you make her think she is not bothering you she will probably stop and target someone else. For the sake of your relationship just let her and this scenario go. I realize that is easier said than done, but just try to ignore her.

Answer 4

She liked you better when you weren't so happy. She's a miserable person. And you know the saying: Misery loves company. Don't let her bring you down.
She's also probably a little jealous of your relationship. No matter how many things you invite her to, she'll always be the odd one out. She's just a little immature.
About you two ruining her life: She's just being a drama queen. We are all responsible for our own happiness and the turns our lives take. Don't let her make you feel bad about her inability to be happy. Good luck.

Answer 5

Have your boyfriend/fiancee' talk to her. I had the same problem a while back when my own brother got engaged, but I wasn't as spiteful. I was just upset. You're the intruder in her life and she is taking it out of proportion. Maybe she had a good relationship with her brother or bad before you came and maybe she feels neglected or that you're making it worse. The only thing you can do is have him strap her to a chair and make her talk about it without you anywhere in the vicinity. Sorry this is happening to you. Best of luck.

Answer 6

well shes got emotional issues maybe shes really sick and wants her brother for herself but thats a low chance so im sorry but maybe shes like those mothers that dont want their sons to marry ANYONE, my cousin has the same problem because her husband is really close to his sister (who is emotionally unstable-drinking problem) and she doesnt like the idea thats he's being taken away so it could be the case. But if she's got issues you should just ignore her because if she thinks nobody cares she'll eventually stop. So dont acknowledge the problem and i know its a little cliche but **** the haters. He loves YOU he's marrying YOU and she doesnt like it oh well it will blow over eventually

Answer 7

Tell her that you would really love have a good relationship with her. But, if she cannot be more pleasant, you are going to have to avoid doing things with her.

Or, don't bother to tell her. Avoid her, and ignore her. She will get the message. Do not let her ruin things for you and the guy you love.

And, don't worry....if your relationship is strong, and what it needs to be.....she cannot harm you.

Sorry for your misfortune. I hate meddling in-laws.

Answer 8

Who cares what your boyfriend's sister thinks. If his parents like you, then that is all that matters.

Let her be. She has the problem, not you.

Marry her brother, make babies and live happily ever after. She'll get over it, or never go to family functions again.

Answer 9

I have a sister in law like that. She always thought I was a gold digger. (Trying to get the "family" money) The only thing that shut her up was building a beautiful new home for my hubby and I using MY trust fund...LOL That shut her the f*ck up!

Answer 10

hopefully things get better cuz girlfriend let me tell you........... i do have a sister in law that introduced me to her brother and we became the best of best friends and she hates that!!! and honestly i think she drove us apart from each other from being in a relationship!! and girl it sucks cuz he is my best friend and i do have these feelings that i don't know what to do with and just get it out cuz you will end up hating her if you don't!!!! TRUST ME!!!