me and my hub lived with my inlaw for a year to help us "get on our feet" i was pregnant at the time, and she was making us pay $900 a month for rent. and every time i asked my hub to do something with me, all a sudden she needed him to do something for her. i invited her to 2 family dinners at my aunts house, she said she would go and then didn't. we lived with her for three months after my son was born and she followed me wround the house like a lost puppie, understanding it's her first grandkid give me a break. now that we've moved out, she thinks that we have to take our son to her house whenever she wants to see him. and only comes to ours when i;m not there. my hub gave her a carseat we didn't need, do i have the right to tell her she needs to ASK me before she takes my son anywere or should i trust my hub to do it?
2006-06-12 11:27:40 · 11 answers · asked by prettyinpink 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should remind your husband of his marriage vow. "...And the man shall leave his MOTHER and father and CLEAVE to his wife." This essentially states that the umbillical cord is now cut and he is to graft himself to his wife. Thus, "...the two shall be made one" and would be compliant with "...The man loves his wife as he loves his own body" You or him owe her nothing. She owes you nothing and obviously shows it. Tell him to choose who he is going to be his wife...then he needs to be unified in the desicions. Or you can live like that forever. Your choice hunny.
2006-06-12 11:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
sit her down and talk nicely and calmly, and also ask her to do the same so you can get this problem solved, nicely and swiftly..
but before you do, sit down and write down your thoughts like you would do if you were doing a school report, make your outline, and then refine it, then once you have what you need and it looks and sounds good, use this as a guide to talk to her..if she comments on you using it, just say you are trying to be kind, and to the point, without going off subject..smile a lot..
and no matter what..do not raise your voice even if she does,
and if she gets out of hand, just smile and saw, well we can continue this at another time...and let her go and then bring it up again until she GIVES in ..after all it is your family not hers..
good luck
2006-06-12 18:35:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I think your husband needs to understand that when you get married you leave your family to start a new one. I know it is hard, but you and your husband need to make it clear to his mother that your child is yours not hers. She had her chance raising a child and now you two need to be able to enjoy those experiences for yourself. You should let her take the child maybe once a week for the evening or every other week so she does get a chance to enjoy her grandchild and you and your husband can still enjoy each other, but make sure everyone sticks to the schedule. I hope it works out.
2006-06-12 18:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by pigglee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes on both accounts...the child is yours, and you have every right to tell her that she needs to as. As far as your husband, he is the child's father, and you should be able to trust him in everything you two do. If you can't trust your husband, than he shouldn't be your husband. You two need mutual trust. I hope that wasn't too harsh. Good luck.
2006-06-13 11:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by David P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a very common question.. But do not worry about it.. I know it is little bit annoying for you.. But she is your mominlow... You can ask her to come soon cause you are worried about your son.. she might give you answer like" Don't worry about it honey.. I am with him" ... But if you will ask her everytime then she will understand the situation...
2006-06-12 18:35:35 · answer #5 · answered by The Time 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to know where your baby's at regardless of who he's with. If u trust your husband enough to know what he is doing, then it should be ok. Other than than one of you should know who the baby is with and where.
2006-06-12 18:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You Hat your mother in law? Take care of your problems, then ask re your muther in law.
2006-06-12 18:32:38 · answer #7 · answered by toolshopjohnny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an offical memebr of the "I hate my mother-in-law" club.
Have your husband control his mom.
Good luck
2006-06-12 18:41:58 · answer #8 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she should as you..she raised her kids now it's your turn to raise your own kids..If you make mistakes along the way they are yours to make and you will learn from them..
2006-06-12 18:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be a bit of a pushover because that's his mother, so you better tell her.
2006-06-12 18:31:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋