We've been together for 15 yrs.-he makes less and dosn't think there is anything wrong in spending his check on gambling, ciggs., & beer. Usually his $ is spent in a couple of days, no contribution for household bills, then wants to spend what I have left after I pay bills, groceries, etc. & he thinks that it is my duty to take care of him because he works hard.(sometimes 15 hrs. a wk.-sometimes 40) He blows it anyway.
2006-06-12 11:20:52 · 14 answers · asked by mrs.toad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've put up with this crap for 15 years? Are you CRAZY??? He should definitely be paying for 1/2 the bills, or at least trying to contribute as much as he can. What kind of man feels satisfied only working 15 hours a week? Doesn't sound like much of a man to me. You'd be better off on your own!
2006-06-12 11:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by thersa33 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is what my sister did, when her husband was being a jerk like that and she made more money than him too. First they have seperate accounts. They sat down and figured up the bills. She told him he had to give her X amount of money towards the bills, and then the rest was to do as he pleased. But she made it clear that when he blew his money that was his tough luck. That he was going to pull his weight and not be a money sucking dirtbag (which he is but that's a whole nother story). She pays the majority of the bills, but he still has to contribute. It's still working out, and she doesn't cave when he blows his money.
He's an adult, but it's obvious that he needs to be treated like a child since he's acting like one. If he doesn't like the way that it's going, tell him to consider it is rent and if he doesn't like it he knows where the door is.
2006-06-12 11:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by SmilingG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't work 40 hours a week and if he blows away all of his money, then don't support him unless he contributes something himself. He sounds like a real loser. You shouldn't have to take care of a grown person. Talk to him about it or go to counseling. Usually, with married couples, incomes of each person should go into the same bank account and be shared. However, if he is irresponsible with his money, you shouldn't reinforce that by supporting him. You shouldn't let him waste your money as well.
2006-06-12 11:24:11 · answer #3 · answered by King Yellow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to take charged of the bills and checkbook and finances here. Make sure you buy food and pay bills first and he needs counseling for his gambling problem. Check out http://www.crown.org and talk with them there about this... It is called money matters and maybe then can give you help and guidence in this area. You may also want to leave him if he continues to do this as well!
2006-06-12 15:46:45 · answer #4 · answered by Fast Steve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This goes to show what happens when people believe marriage should be 50-50. Marriage should be 100-100 because if people cannot give it their all, it's not going to work. In this case, you're doing all the giving and he's doing all the taking. If this were to be rated, he would receive a big fat Zero.
2006-06-12 11:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you married yourself a winner. And for 15 years you have put up with this behavior.
You did this to yourself and should have never let it start in the first place.
My marriage is 50/50, all the way around, even though he makes twice as much money than me. We have lots together.
2006-06-12 11:28:02 · answer #6 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly like I used to do. I thought it was all right, until my wife left me. I was lucky I got help and got my act together and we are back together. I give her my money and she looks after the finances because she is better at it. Hope you can work things out. Good Luck.
2006-06-12 11:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not 50/50 then. You have to have everything 50/50 not just the left overs. If he does that then you are intitle to the same amount. Obviously, that wouldn't work so I would just kick his *** and make him staighten up.
2006-06-12 11:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by Ready2Go 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No that definitley isn't okay, you should tell him that he needs to start contributing to the bills or you guys should get seperate bank accounts because you are getting the short end of that deal. If he wont compromise then you should leave him!
2006-06-12 11:23:23 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He need to help.. You married a man when you said your vows. You didn't adopt a child. He need to grow up and look at the big picture. Good Luck
2006-06-12 11:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥Soon to Be Mrs.F♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋