The number of automobile accidents in Las Vegas can be greatly reduced by simply thinking ahead. Mandating ordinances, which would force developers to build adequate roads before they can begin their projects, would be a major solution. City Planners know, sometimes years in advance, where homes or businesses are going to be built through master zoning plans. The city planners can require developers to delay future projects indefinitely until all sufficient roads are completed. New construction is occurring so fast it is imperative that the city planners stay on top of every development. Las Vegas is a city where a new resident arrives every 7 minutes, a new car hits the streets every 10 minutes, and a new home is built every 17 minutes. The most important thing is to look not only at the individual projects, but the bigger picture. We have to do something before it’s too late, too many people have given their lives for us not to.
2006-06-12 11:09:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
The topic is, "can the amount of automobile accidents be reduced in Las Vegas and how?"
2006-06-12 11:19:02 · update #1
How's this????
The number of automobile accidents in Las Vegas can be greatly reduced by simply thinking ahead. Mandating ordinances, which would force developers to build adequate roads before they can begin their projects, would be a major solution. Through master zoning plans, city planners know, sometimes years in advance, where homes or businesses are going to be built. The city planners can require developers to delay future projects indefinitely, until all adequate roads are completed. New construction is occurring so fast it is imperative that the city planners stay on top of every development. Las Vegas is a city where a new resident arrives every seven minutes, a new car hits the streets every 10 minutes, and a new home is built every 17 minutes. The most important thing is to not only look at the individual projects, but to also look ahead at the bigger picture. We have to do something before it’s too late; Too many people have given their lives for us to do nothing.
2006-06-12 11:53:34 · update #2
There are only three things I would change:
Put semicolons instead of commas in the sentence beginning, "Las Vegas is a city....."
Put a comma after the word "look" in the following sentence and add the word "at" after the word but.
I would change the last sentence to get rid of the word "we." Say something like:
Something must be done to rectify the situation soon. Too many people have already given their lives to the inadequate controls and lack of foresight currently present in the city's planning program.
(Or however you choose to phrase it.) "We" puts a different slant on the subject that is not present in the rest of the paragraph.
Otherwise, very well written (you did your research) and well thought out. You deserve a good mark for this.
Since you are rewriting, try these few changes to tighten it up a little more:
Make this your first sentence. "Las Vegas is a city where a new home is built every 17 minutes; a new resident arrives every 7 minutes; and a new car hits the street every 10 minutes.
Carry on to "Through master zoning plans" and get rid of the comma after zoning. Put brackets around (sometimes years in advance), and a comma after the second bracket.
Substitute "They" for The city planners" in the next sentence and get rid of the word "indefinitely" and the comma further on in the sentence.
Change this sentence to: New construction is occurring so fast that it is imperative for city planners to stay on top of every development.
Change this to: However, the most important thing is to look, not only at the individual projects, but ahead to the bigger picture and future developments.
Make the last sentence something like: City planners must take a more proactive approach. Too many people have already lost their lives due to lack of enforced controls and inadequate foresight. Must there be still more deaths on our streets and highways before conditions change?
2006-06-12 11:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The number of automobile accidents in Las Vegas can be greatly reduced by simply thinking ahead. Mandating ordinances, which would force developers to build adequate roads before they can begin their projects, would be a major solution. City Planners know, sometimes years in advance, where homes or businesses are going to be built through master zoning plans. The city planners can require developers to delay future projects indefinitely until all sufficient roads are completed. New construction is occurring so fast it is imperative that the city planners stay on top of every development. Las Vegas is a city where a new resident arrives every 7 minutes, a new car hits the streets every 10 minutes **no comma between "minutes" & "and"** and a new home is built every 17 minutes. The most important thing is to look not only at the individual projects, but the bigger picture. We have to do something before it’s too late **there should be a period instead of a comma** **capital "T"** oo many people have given their lives for us not to.
Everything else is on the money.
2006-06-12 11:31:31 · answer #2 · answered by mcclean5552 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Punctuation is great. I'd change a couple of things gramatically - is it a paragraph you were given to punctuate, or one you wrote? If you have any need to make grammatical changes, these are a couple I would suggest:
1. Don't end the paragraph with the word "to". I'd rewrite that sentence.
2. The phrase "through master zoning plans" seems to be misplaced. What word is it modifying? It needs to be as close as possible to the word it is modifying.
3. I wouldn't use the term "sufficient roads". How about "necessary roads"? Or "required roads"?
Sorry ..... the teacher in me never rests!!!
2006-06-12 11:20:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
last sentence change:
We have to do something before it's too late; too many people have given their lives for us to do nothing.
a) Analysis: Separate complete thoughts which contain a subject and predicate deserve to be separated by a semi colon, not a comma.
b) Also the sentence should not end in a preposition (to) so I changed the wording slightly to correct that without changing the meaning.
2006-06-12 11:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by Madison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every number under 10 should be spelled out. Therefore, "7 minutes" should be "seven minutes." Unless it's a date.
If you're using a semicolon in the last sentence, the word "Too" does not need to be capitalized.
2006-06-12 11:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by happybirthday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You need a comma between "indefinitely" & "until" in the sentense that starts with "The city planners."
In the last sentense, that shouldn't be a comma, as it's actually between two full senteneses. It should be a ";" or, if you wanna get a little more crazy, a "--"
2006-06-12 11:16:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Add "also" after but and before the bigger picture.
In the last sentence put a period after late. Capitalize Too. As is, you have a run-on sentence.
I hope this helps.
2006-06-12 11:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AbiWord (It's free) says it's puurfect. If I remember correctly, You should spell out the first number, then at your choice you may use the numeral; IE "7" there after.
Notice how I didn't use AbiWord to spell check these sentences. Hee-hee
2006-06-12 11:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by Cornish_Rex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It looks good to me until the last sentence. Instead of a comma after late, should't it be a semi-colon?
2006-06-12 11:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by Gary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are only minor punctuation errors in the paragraph, however, I find the paragraph itself was utterly confusing and disorganized.
2006-06-12 11:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by Nico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋