im married for a year now, but , the relationship is almost singking. bec. of my jealousy.. i do love my husband so much. but he's having attitude too. kindly help!
2006-06-12 09:13:52 · 31 answers · asked by jempok 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
TRUST and COMMUNICATION!!
You have to trust him or you have nothing. Even if he's done wrong in the past you have to get over it and forgive him. It won't work any other way.
Jelousy is just insecurity spelled differently. Work on your own insecurities and don't take them out on him.
A woman wants one thing in a marriage, to be cherished, a man... to be trusted.
You have to talk to each other, even when it seems so hard. And when you talk... listen to each other and say what you mean in your heart of hearts... don't say what you think you should say or what he wants to hear. It only gets worse if you aren't honest with him or yourself.
If he's having an "attitude" it's because you're getting on his nerves. Back off a little. Show him your a strong independant woman that loves herself, and he will love you and respect you so much more.
Give him his space when he needs it. Don't push him to talk to you when he gets upset. Just walk away, cry your eyes out, come back when you're both calm and talk.
No one wins, just remember that love is a compromise, not a battle.
And don't be so serious all the time. Laugh at each other, be silly, have fun. RELAX... you will make it through anything if you just learn to RELAX. (it took me a good 5 years to fianally learn that)
Here's what I think about when I get upset at my man
1. If something bad happened to me, an accident or something, would I want him there with me?
2. Is he a good person?
3. Am I PMSing (because sometimes that's the only reason you're even fighting at all)
Good luck. Hope I helped.
2006-06-12 09:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by ease_e_goin 2 · 7⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 22 years and it is all about give and take plus you must talk to each other, you say you are jealous has he given you a reason to be? could his attitude be becuase you will not trust him, one of the main stays of a marriage is trust but it must work both ways.
You have only been married for a year give it time but also how long were you together before you married? Marriage is getting to know someone as well you do not know them properly till you live with them.
But the main and most important thing is to talk, your husband should be your best friend so treat him like it and tell him your feelings.
Hope this helps
2006-06-12 16:20:15 · answer #2 · answered by blackwidow2408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key is to deal with each issue on an individual basis instead of trying to solve all your problems at once. You have to be willing to talk things through and make sure each of you understands where the other person is coming from. You say your jealous so the question is of what and why? Then you have to ask each other how can that jealousy be lessened, what steps or changes can be made by either of you to change the situation for the better. Some times you have to take at least small steps to get to the final solution.
2006-06-12 16:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... I saw on a 20/20 special the difference between happy marriages and broken ones was that though they go through the same issues and have the same amount of serious fights about the same issues but at the end of the day, the happy marriages sleep in each others arms, not mad or with an attitude with each other,
and the broken ones bring all the negativity into the bedroom and never let it go.
2006-06-12 16:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by kitt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really a secret, but some advice. Treat your husband like your boyfriend and vice versa, flirt , have fun, and enjoy each other. Don't be jealous, he married you---being married in the first place is the biggest display of love for a man. Also let him know your feelings in a non-accusing way, Good Luck.
2006-06-12 16:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by babyslaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so jealous? You have him.No one else has him you do He married you didnt he?So why be jealous? I use to be jealous too but it led me into trouble. You cant be jealous.Everyone is beautiful in there own way. Think about your positive qualities and focus on them.Dont worry about others just about you.I think that the secret of a happy marriage is honesty,Laughter, kindness,Faithfulness, communication. If you have all of those then you will make i tyou should seriously seek some counseling for yourself cause if not then things are just gonna get worse. Good luck to u!
2006-06-13 04:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by cutiepie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Secrets to a happy marriage: communication, more communication, trust, compromise, understanding, friendship, love - just to name a few.
If you are having jealousy issues then you need to talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. You both need to talk and get your feelings out in the open and then work on what you can do to have an understanding with eachother. You both need to compromise and if you are being jealous for no reason you need to stop and start trusting your hubby. If you have trouble talking to eachother you should seek out a marriage counselor.
2006-06-12 16:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you get married by a pastor, priest, father, or some other officiate of a church? If so go ask that person about couples counseling. Your church clergy man may provide that service for free or get you in contact with a good counseling service. These places are good to start talking because it is neutral territory and the couselor can help you both learn how to start a dialoge or the "proper" way to fight.
2006-06-12 16:27:15 · answer #8 · answered by KSgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get help for your jealousy, If you don`t you can say goodbye to your marriage.Your husbands attitude maybe due to your jealousy, I know it`s hard for you, you must love and want this marriage to work to own up to your jealousy, that is the first step, now go further and get help... Good Luck
2006-06-12 16:21:59 · answer #9 · answered by Tatty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is like a job.. You have to work at it...
First off, you need to trust your husband. If he hasn't given you a reason not too, then you should be able to ... We are all human beings, and we should be able to talk to anyone, without anything going on.... Secondly, communciate with your husband. Talk about your feelings and be open about it... Don't try to hold back, because you are afraid he will get mad.... If he loves and cares for you, he will listen and try to understand how you are feeling...
Also, don't get caught up in trying to figure out, who he's talking with, who he has a meeting with.. Concentrate on doing nice things for him, special dinners, notes on his bedside or e-mails.. Special gifts... Wear nice lingerie while making dinner... Simple things will keep your husband happy and not stray....
GOOD LUCK AND HAVE THE FAITH!
2006-06-12 16:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by Torres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋