My ex just informed me that she's stripping at a local club on weekends when my son is with me (every other). This decision is the latest in a series of questionable ones she has made vis-a-vis our child - she moved her boyfriend in before the divorce was final, then moved him out/back in again. She claims the job is out of necessity and to avoid our son having to do some kind of day care after school - yet she goes out and buys a BMW and plans a cruise with the boyfriend next week. I think the decision is wrong on many fronts - it puts her (my son's mother) at risk due to the many dangers of the work environment, it exposes him to it potentially (i.e., stalkers), and it raises the possibility that he finds out his mother is a stripper (and all of the attendant psychological possibilities that may follow). She doesn't see anything wrong with it. I think all of my son's support group (grandparents, aunts, godparents) should know and am considering going for custody. Help!?
2006-06-12 08:32:47 · 15 answers · asked by NashvilleDad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
More info - I already pay her more than I'm required to pay her for support, and way more than is needed considering his school is free and I pay for his health insurance.
Also - she quit a job with a national non-profit where she had flexible hours, child care AND full benefits and replaced her income (plus) with the new gig.
And we have talked - she flatly refuses to acknowledge that my concerns are valid and sees no issue whatsover with what she's doing. Will be talking more this week, and have already consulted my lawyer who said I definitely have a case for reducing child support (considering her increased wages) and may (but probably not) have a case for challenging our current custody arrangement.
2006-06-12 08:48:29 · update #1
Stripping is not illegal, and the situation that you describe is not affectting your son since it's being done while you have him for visitation.
I see that your concern is an ethical one, but you have no say or no do what your ex- does with her money or with her boyfriend, since your child is well taken care of and there is no concern for his safety and well-being.
Seek legal counsel if you want to pursue custody, but it could be hard to prove on court that your child is NOT taken care of just because your ex went on a cruise.
Good luck to you
2006-06-12 08:42:09 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your place to be telling your ex wife, where she can or cannot work. She's doing it when your son is with you, not while he's with her, it doesn't sound to me as if she's endangering him in any way. I just think you may have a problem with it yourself, and it will be your place, to GET over it. If you want your child support lowered, because she's making more money now, by stripping..then what exactly are you griping about..? I don't think her being a stripper, in anyway...should give you more of a custody issue over her. She's not being a bad mother ..in the least. What she does with her time now...is just that...HER time..sorry dude. Your wrong on this one.
2006-06-12 19:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is not setting a very good moral example by shacking up and stripping. Your son is also at a greater risk of abuse by the boyfriends (statistically proven). I think you should try to get custody. Try paying her off (bribe) to give you sole custody, she obviously cares more about money and having a good time than about her child.
2006-06-12 15:55:31 · answer #3 · answered by debbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the big deal. Your child is not in danger just because she is a stripper. She seems to have good judgement in doing it when the child is with you on the weekends. If she starts getting into some of the stuff that some strippers get into then its a different story.
2006-06-12 15:46:41 · answer #4 · answered by kiss me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! Thats alot to go through, I would defiantely try talking to her, to address your concerns, If she doesnt care, then DEFINATELY go for custody, She seems to be irresponsible and worried about herself, A BMW and Cruise, yeah really responsible lady there. You sound like a responsible man that cares deeply for his son. You should fight for him. At least you'll know he will be taken care of. Start by getting a good lawyer and let him know whats going on. Good luck to you.
2006-06-12 17:08:02 · answer #5 · answered by saraidan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok jlaid.. you're an @ss.... anyway... I think you should sit down with your ex and really talk to her about all of your concerns and why you are feeling the way you are and MAYBE she will be mature enought o see where you are coming from. Let her know that you are considering seeking for custody of this unsafe behavior continues.
2006-06-12 15:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by moomoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her a## back to court and fight for the custody of your son. Because I belive your child shouldn't have to witness the situation she is about to put him through.
2006-06-12 15:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by cheffunk2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sue for custody
2006-06-12 15:35:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what can u do its a job and she aint doin it in front of ur son u dont wont her 2 do it then pay more child support
2006-06-12 15:34:59 · answer #9 · answered by tats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her not yahoo. tell her that you are worried about the kid not being jealous. She might just be doing it to get attention or something. If you talk with her at least you tried
2006-06-12 15:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋