I posted a question a while ago and the answers were very informative. I need to know though, if My in-laws are good resources here. My husband has mesed up many times by getting drunk and calling me names and telling me I am crazy, punching a hole in the wall, walking home drunk because he didn't want to leave a party when I did, coming home at 4am,shooting my cat....my inlaws don't approve of his actions and have told him so, but they all think I should drop it and go on with life. your opinion?
2006-06-12 08:28:21 · 9 answers · asked by emmaleigh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely, you should leave this man if he refuses to get help! You are more important and deserve much better than that. By staying with him, you are disrespecting yourself and, trust me, I know from personal experience, the consequences of staying with someone like that can be damaging to you for the rest of your life. I just pray there are no children involved. If a man will harm a live creature, even if it is just a cat, he is dangerous, to himself and anyone else he takes a mind to hold a gun to. When people are drunk they are not rational, they are not going to see or hear logic, no matter what you do. This is a man who needs long-term care, mentally and emotionally. Unless he agrees, immediately to get into some sort of program or counseling and follows through, you need to get away from him...asap!!!
2006-06-12 08:36:15 · answer #1 · answered by amomentssunlight 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like the violent behavior is escalating with alcohol use. The abuse will only continue to get worse. If he is already causing property damage and harm to a living being, how long until it is you? Drop the drunk, go to a shelter if necessary. No one can care more for your personal situation than you. You do not have to give control to anyone else. There is nothing wrong with self preservation.
You do not have to choose to be miserable. Take control for yourself and choose to be safe and happy. Yes, it may be difficult, but the pay offs in self esteem are worth the effort.
Good luck!
2006-06-12 15:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by ajgeiger38 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think you should just forgive and forget. He seems to have a drinking problem and has trouble controlling his anger. You need to remember these incidents and be aware of them. You've got to realize that your in laws are a little biased where he is concerned so they are not good resources. Your husband needs some help before he directs all that anger at you. Ignoring what he does can just lead to more trouble down the road.
2006-06-12 15:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by moma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just sorry and was probly like that when you fell in love with the guy. Dang what your family wants do you want to leave him? I guess it could be worse he could beat up on you. If all he does is act childish then one day he will grow up would you want him then? I believe when you said" I do" it was for good and bad so if you have not been married for 25 years then you have not even tried to make it work. What is ten years compared to forever like YOU promised now remind him of his promises he made too.
2006-06-12 15:36:44 · answer #4 · answered by Best answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most likely his drinking problem isnt going to get better, if you dont want to deal with this for the rest of your life, youd better get out now. He should be in jail for animal cruelty if he shot your cat. Sounds like his family is in a bit of denial, they are a bunch of jerks too. I think its time for you to move on and fiond someone that you deserve and deserves you.
2006-06-12 15:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on if you love him and you want to see him through his alcohol addiction and his abusive behavior. If he wants to get help and is trying and you love him, then help him. If he doesn't want to get help then move on with your life. I can tell you it is only going to get worse. It may be you he shoots next time. Alcohol can cause people to do things they would not do when sober. I wouldn't live in fear if I were you. How can you just "drop it" that he shot your cat. That's just cruel and inhuman.
2006-06-12 16:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LIFE IS TOO SHORT,
kick his *** to the curb and move on your avatar looks like a smart one.... he needs AA in his life and you need him out of yours. Best of luck GET HELP FAST
2006-06-12 15:32:53 · answer #7 · answered by sinneragain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go on with your life
And leave that bum behind.
2006-06-12 15:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by snakeman11426 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shooting your cat? that's a crime. report his sorry a$$ and leave.
2006-06-12 15:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋