Cutting? Please help!?

Question

Yesterday at church my friend carelessly showed my where she had cut her hand intentionally, multiple times. Before I realized it, I slapped her face. It wasn't hard, and I've NEVER done anything like that to someone before. I just pictured her becoming a cutter, and it happened. I then got more gentle with her and begged her to never ever cut herself again. While we talked I kept on pulling up her hand and looking at the slashes. It made me scared, and it made me want to cry. But I couldn't talk to her in private, and I had to leave soon after. Now I'm scared that I might have done the wrong thing. I wasn't mad at her, and I think she knew that, but... I'm worried it might be my fault. I haven't been seeing her a lot lately. I don't know what to do. I can't believe I hit her. Now I'm worried. What can I do?

Answer 1

Do try to see her again soon. You should say you're sorry you hit her. But you HAVE to STRESS the cutting part. That nothing good can be found by hurting your own self.

Answer 2

This is something developed from home. I was an experimental cutter in highschool. It had nothing to do with ANY of my friends, it was a way to prove that I could feel pain. In my case, I was simply figuring some things out and have NO SCARS to show what I went through.
I don't think your friend is going to be upset with you for having such an emotional reaction, however, you should take the time to look at her home life to be sure there isn't something REALLY wrong. A friend of mine (that tried to commit suicide and also was a cutter) had been sexually assulted by her father and uncle. I tried my best to have her stay at my place as often as possible, but in the end I couldn't do her thinking for her. She refused to press charges and now lives 45 minutes away with a man her father's age, a new baby, and she's a stripper....

Goes to show you though, some people don't want help.

Answer 3

Ok, you shouldn't have slapped her, but you were scared and acted before you thought, so concentrate now on helping her. If she is under 18, please find a way to tell her parents so they can get her some help. If that's not an option, perhaps a school counselor or trusted adult. If she is over 18, try to convince her to talk to a doctor or counselor. You talked about church, so maybe a pastor or an adult there could help her find professional help. Cutting is something that most people do not understand if they have not been there. Your friend probably does it as an outlet for her own emotional pain. There is help for her. Try to see that she gets professional help.

Answer 4

Follow my instructions, I know exactly what to do. Go to www.sharinglifetogether.com/ and then click contact us. Fill out your info first and then fill out every detail about your problem and add a few more of your feelings than you did in your Q in yahoo answers. I know they will help they are good christian people that have experience with these things. They get all kinds of questions like these, I contact them a lot. I know they will help you and I know they will give you not only answers to your problem but somehow they will alos help your friend. Don't feel bad just tell her it was a reaction and that your sorry, although I'm sure you probably already have, and don't feel bad. It's not your fault. It was a mistake just ask for forgiveness. That's all you can do. And don't worry. Please tell me by emailing me that you did or did not contact these ppl. I care very much about you and I'm glad that I was able to help someone that has such a big problem.

Answer 5

If your friend showed you her cuttings(if she didn t want you to know she would hide it veeeeeeeery well) it means she needs your support. Try to hide the fact that you are really freaked out and sit down with her and talk about the things that are troubling her-I wouldn't focus on the cutting part.. See if you can say/do anything that will help her feel better because it s very obvious that she s not going through an easy phase.. She really needs support now, so try to spend as much time w/ her.. At some point casually say that she should stop cutting herself because it can t solve anything. At that point u should have convinced her that u want to help, because sometimes ppl w/ that kind of attitude become paranoid and thing "you re out to get them". It s not irreversible but she needs immediate help. U should tell someone-ie her mum- but try to convince her to do it herself before you tell..

Answer 6

Well you shouldn't have slapped her because she might have went home and cute herself even more! But you should talk to her parents or something like that because you shouldn't cuteyourself intentionally! Because on your hand you can loose a lot of blood. My friend used to cut her wrists but now I talked to her and I went to the school counselor. Now she is back to normal. Maybe something is going on that she isn't telling you?Something at home or work or something like that? Call her and talk to her then when she is alone.

Answer 7

I think hitting her was a good thing becuase she got a reality check and maybe that will stop her from doing that again, But I think you should tell her parents about what she is doing before she really hurts herself.

Answer 8

first, apologize. second, be the best friend you have ever been to her. you say shes your "friend" but if you were that good of a friend, you may have been able to stop that habit before it started. she is not getting enough attention and this her way to cry out that she's depressed and lonely. be her friend, invite her places, and take her mind off her life. this is the absolute best you can do. you dont need to go take her to a mental hospital and draw negative attention to her. Hope this helps..

Answer 9

If you have the chance, I would either talk to your parents and let them know what was going on with your friend and they could possibly talk to your friend's parents. Or if you feel brave enough to talk to her parents about what she is doing, I would do that. I hope this advice helps some.

Answer 10

you should be handling that with more sensitivity. you kept looking at her hand and holding it up?? did other ppl see? how about taking her hand into yours with love and giving it a kiss instead of slapping her? hug her, and go tell someone who is extremely close to her that she needs help (bf, mom, whatever) and don't tell other ppl about it... show her love and respect.

what you can do now is get someone to help and hug her and cry/whatever you need to do and tell her you had no right to smack her and you love her. ask for her forgiveness.