My husband has done some things in the past two years, like drinking himself stupid and punching a hole in the wall, not coming home and waking up on the side of the road miles past our home when I was overdue with our child, Pulling a gun out (not aiming it at us)and threatening us with it. Not wanting to leave a party and walking home drunk when I left, Shooting my cat (sober then) and telling me I am a crazy B*t%h for saying he has a problem. His parents want me to be patient as he works things out. Mine are offering to buy me a house near them. He has controlled himself for three weeks and still drinks 3-4 a night but helps out around the house.(which has no porch or flooring due to projects started but unfinished.) He loves us I know. He wants to be better. I promised him and God for better or worse. He brought me jewelry and flowers this w/end. Help!
2006-06-12 07:32:07 · 9 answers · asked by emmaleigh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get rid of him. He's abusive and may end up hurting you or your children. Pack you essentials and your kids essentials in the trunk of your car and have an escape plan to where you can go. Find out about women's safe houses and where you can get help. This guy is dangerous and you need to protect yourself and your children. Things are not going to work out between you, thats just what they call the honeymoon phase.
2006-06-12 07:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband an alcoholic? If alcohol seems to be great part of your family problems, then he might be. If your husband has a problem with alcohol then he needs help.
If he has treaten you with a gun and shot the cat dead, then he has a problem with violence. Do you think this is healthy? Do you think your child should be brought in this enviroment????
If you love your husband, find help for him. There are several rehabilitation clinics and counselors and AA can help point you in the the right direction, but intervention is needed.
If you love your child, take her out of harms way. You might not think this, but a child is like a sponge that absorbs everything. Having a violent alcoholic father treaening mommy with a gun is NO HEALTHY and NOT NORMAL....this will affect her for the rest of your life. You are allowing this to happen to her...
If you love yourself, gather enough strenght to leave this unhealthy relationship. You can get your life together away from violence and you have your family's support. It's up to you know... do you want you and your child to keep on living like this? I'm urging you to provide your daughter to grow on a NORMAL enviroment. You can do this while your husband works on his issues, you can be loving and supportive, but away from harms away. This is a situation that will get worse and worse.
Just to remind you, is YOUR responsability to protect your child, she cannot do it on her own. I'm sure she would like to see daddy cured, after therapy to be able to love both of you, but in the mean time, get her out of there FOR PETE"S SAKE. If you don't wanna do it for yourself, do it for your child's safety.
Get a plan, get information and show your husband where to turn to. If you care for him, give him the information that he needs to seek professional help with his behavior issues, by doing so, you will be fulfilling your obligation as a wife to seek him help. If he refuses to go to couseling and treatment, then you can make the determanation of whether or not is worth your continue putting up with this.
Love is not what you've describes, life is precious and delicate. He has a problem and you know it, gather some strength and get out of harms way inmediatly. take your family's generous and kind offer. If he continues with the violence REPORT HIM and seek a protective order.
Would you like your child to end up in a foster home or worse?
Think about it.
Good luck
2006-06-12 15:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of your daughter and the scars that are being deeply embedded in her heart. The things you have mentioned are terribly difficult for you as an adult to handle. She hears and sees all. She knows whether you want to admit it or not.
Take your parents up on the offer. How blessed you are to have them. Get yourself in a stable situation and let him do the same. No contact until he has truly overcome it and that means no drinking. He is an alcoholic who abuses. Even a few drinks will cause him to want more.
Don't give up on him. But, take a stand for you and your daughter. Rebuild your life and if he chooses to rebuild his and can prove that he has in time then welcome him back with loving arms.
Remember your daughter comes first.
2006-06-12 15:06:00 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what you have a child he shot your car, threatened you with a gun, what if that gun accidentally went off and hurt your child would you be able to live with yourself knowing all you had to do was leave? You need to leave for the wellfare of that child, it isn't about you and him or jewlry big deal i could buy you jewlry if you really wanted it that bad, and i don't even know you, get out now! Before it is to late!
2006-06-12 15:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are describing the domestic violence cycle. Check out the website and look at the power and control wheel. Talk to a professional about what you should do.
2006-06-12 14:35:26 · answer #5 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may of promised god and yourself for better of worse,however you should not stay in this marriage.. Sounds like domestic violence. Think long term what staying with him means..If he goes back to drinking again like he was you or your daughter could end up dead..You cant do this on your own seek outside help from your local domestic abuse shelter..And please visit curiosity's site she add to her answer..Good Luck!
2006-06-12 14:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by Rain32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand you wanting to stay him since you obviously love him and hope that he will change.
Has he gotten treatment?Are you going to counseling?I do feel you both need to seek outside help to help u through this.If he doesn't change or if you really feel like you shouldn't wait around to see if it happens the best thing to do is leave.There is no reason for your to subject yourself or children to such abuse.
2006-06-12 14:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by rachellynn200 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to get out, leave before it turn much worst. run for the hills, divorce him it is not worth it.
2006-06-12 14:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by IndyMM 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an idiot if you stay. Complete idiot.
2006-06-12 14:36:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋