How do you make a 14 month old sleep?

Question

I have a great little kid that I love to death, the problem is that she won't sleep through the night! I've tried letting her cry, holding her, not picking her up, giving her a bottle of milk, giving her a bottle of just water, giving her a bottle of watered down milk....ferberizing has not worked yet. Is she just stubborn, am I doing something wrong? And we've (she and I) been working on this for about 3 months now. Is there a possibility that her day care provider is holding her for naps and that is why she is fussing for bedtime and naps now? I am just past the exhaustion point. I've started to get so out of it that I am taking out my neighbors mailboxes on the way to work in the morning!
I am going to try not going in to her at all, and just letting her cry it out by herself with no contact from me, but that would be too hard! Any advice?

Answer 1

One thing we know is that babies do NOT need to wake up in the middle of the night to eat after about 6 months of age. It is now basically only a habit.

Unfortunately the only clinically proven way is the "cry it out" routine, other than to just keep doing what you are doing and wait and see if she learns on her own. But the key is doing it correctly. Trust me, we did the "just wait and see if she grows out of it" method with our first child and she finally slept thru the night at 18 months!

First of all, establish a bedtime routine (for example: what I call the 3 B's: Bath, Bottle, and then a Book - or Bath and Book if shes off the bottle). Whatever you choose, make it the same every night.

Next, put the child to bed awake, and without a bottle. And do not go back in the room unless the child is hurt or something is wrong. It's OK to check on her (whether you let her see you or not is up to you).

Set a goal initially of sleeping 6 hrs (most kids who can sleep 6 hrs straight will sleep 8 or 9 very soon). The first 2 nights are the worst, but whatever you do, do NOT decide to "give her a break just this once" - that resets the whole process. It may take up to a week, but usually 3-5 days is average.

A similar approach, which you referred to, is called the Ferber method. You can read more about it (and confirm you were doing it correctly) at:
http://www.pregnancyweekly.com/pregnancy_information/ferber_method.htm

The problem with this method is that I think it takes longer since you are consistently reassuring the child every 20 minutes.

Whichever method you choose, be consistent. We did the "cry-it-out" technique with our second child and by the 4th night he was sleeping through.

And whatever you do, don't start putting her in bed with you - then you will have 2 problems to solve!

Answer 2

She's normal. Most *adults* don't like to sleep alone, and they understand that morning is coming in just a few hours!! Why *would* you expect a baby to want to do it?!

Crying is *not* the answer. When she cries, she releases corisol--a stress hormone (even after the crying stops). Calories she needs for growth and development instead go to stress management. Moreover, what message does this send her--that when she is totally dependent, the people who love her the most won't help! How would *you* feel if you came home from work in tears and your husband told you to go cry in the kitchen and make dinner because that's what you are supposed to be doing now and stop all the nonsense!! Unanswered crying is not good for her physically, emotionally, or psychologically.

And what does it say about you that you are *worried* that your daycare provider might be *providing* care instead of just leaving her alone to cry?

If you are so exhausted that you can't concentrate during the day, try taking her into bed with you to sleep. Many babies sleep better when cuddled up to someone they love (sound familiar?). She is telling you that she needs you. Maybe listening is the solution.

Answer 3

As my mom still says.. I am so glad for my sleep at night. Unfortunaltely some babies don't require as much sleep. Starting from about 6 months with me until I was about 2 1/2 - 3 yrs old I probably only slept 3-5 hours per day (24hrs) My moms middle name was exhaustion! The only advice I can pass on from my mom is that she would put me in my playpen in the living with a bottle, a few toys (that can't harm) & light blanket. She would keep the lights off but put the TV on low with movies (ie Wizard of Oz, a musical etc.) She would put the play pen close to the couch & semi sleep (lol as a parent you know what i mean) She would get some sleep rather than drive us both crazy trying to force me to sleep. Eventually it will pass. I love to sleep now lol! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Well first of all you need to find out what time she takes her naps at daycare because if she's taking a late nap she's not tired by the time you ready for her to go to bed. You also need to find out the lenghts of her naps.If she's sleeping for more than two hours you should maybe put a time limit on her naps so that it will be easier for you in the evenings. Then you do need you do need to ask the daycare provider how she takes her naps ( playpen, crib,etc.) explain to them that your having a hard time getting her to sleep in the evenings. When you get home try to tire her out, give her a warm bath before bed. Hopefully these things should help. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 5

I am very sorry for you. I would ask her doctor for advice on this as well but if all else fails...let her sleep with you. That always made my daughter fall right to sleep. And you may want to check with the daycare provider to make sure she isn't napping too late in the day. Also try a sound soother (aka sound machine) and always leave a night-light on. Not to implant horrible thoughts into your already overworked mind but do you trust this daycare- A LOT? I hope for your child's sake that she isn't being abused.

Answer 6

I followed the advice in the book On Becoming Babywise.....and my daughter has been sleeping through the night for a few months now. I would definitely recommed trying out this book!

Answer 7

I know it's a lot of work to do this but when our kids would have this problem (rarely thank God), we found that strapping them into their carseat and driving around for a while put them back to sleep. Like around the block, or if it's a small block around a few...no more than 15 mins or so. It seems silly but it worked great for us. Just being in the car driving put them to sleep...carry back in and gently put back in bed, back to sleep you go.

Answer 8

Pat her back and start sing a song that she loves or make one up. if she does not settle down then leave a music player on so she knows that you are their for her. maybe try having her sleep with you.this happen to my brothers kids and they did the following. maybe her teeth are coming in.give her some bedtime medicine.

Answer 9

by now you should know her different cries you have to teach yourself to ignore the i want attention but still be alert to the im hurt or the i dont feel good it will take weeks but if you learn to drown out the cries for attention she will eventually go back to sleep on her own

Answer 10

By medicines