He gets so mad at me because I get jealous when other girls look at him or if he talks to another girl. I always think he is going to leave me and I can’t stop acting like a jealous freak. Does anyone have any advice on how to chill out my behavior? I feel horrible about it
2006-06-12 07:07:33 · 18 answers · asked by Jersey Style 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just wanted to say thanks to all, I agree with all of your answers and you have been so helpful. I really appreciate it and will take your advice to heart.
2006-06-12 07:36:26 · update #1
If he wants to cheat, he will - whether you like it or not. The important thing is to calm down and realize that just as you probably talk to other guys from time to time, he can talk to other women. Have faith and trust in him and your commitment to each other. Sit down and talk about it - tell him you are scared but that you have no reason to be. See what he thinks and how he feels. The energy you send out to the universe will always come back to you - so if you're nervous, jealous, angry...that's the kind of energy you're going to keep receiving. It's like a vicious cycle that must be stopped. Whenever you start to feel that way, think about your husband's best qualities. Think about the things you do together that you enjoy. You must find something else to concentrate on - make it positive. Good luck!!
2006-06-12 07:42:28 · answer #1 · answered by Rachel 7 · 12⤊ 1⤋
Relationship Counseling: She is jealous for no reason
Dear Dr. Ellen: I want to break up with my girlfriend but don't know what to tell her. She is driving me crazy with her jealousy. We've been going out now for 2 years and I've had it. She gives me the third degree every time I'm with my friends and accuses me of infidelity. I work with a lot of females and if I go out to lunch with them she's on my case. I just want to know what to say so that I don't hurt her. - John
Dear John: She will be hurt no matter what you say. Tell her truthfully why you want to break up. Many times when someone wants to end a relationship, they aren't honest about the reason. Rather than hurt someone's feelings, the person may say something like: It's not you. It's me; I don't know why; I don't want a serious relationship right now or I just need space. These kinds of vague excuses may lessen the hurt initially, but they do more damage by continuing to give the other person hope that maybe you'll come around and change your mind.
If she's overprotective, it is exhausting for you to hide any friendships you may have with females. It's exhausting to keep reassuring her that you are faithful. I see this happening all the time - a woman thinks that jealousy is proof of her love. In reality, it is proof of insecurity, and an insecure woman is not very sexy or attractive to the opposite sex. Some jealousy is normal in any love relationship. Every woman wants daily reminders that her mate won't find someone else, outgrow her, or find other people and activities more exciting and interesting than she is.
But extreme jealousy will eventually ruin a perfectly good relationship. If a man has friends, interests, obligations, and activities that take time away from his girlfriend, it is her constant accusations that will drive him away, not those other people, interests, or activities. It is quite normal for her to ask, "Who was that on the phone? How come you're home so late? or Anything interesting happen today?" When you answer openly and honestly, it's not appropriate to keep getting grilled or be accused of not telling the truth. Eventually her fear becomes a reality because you can't stand it any longer.
At least if you are completely honest with her, she has a chance of becoming a better girlfriend next time. The end of a relationship often brings heartache and pain, but there's a lesson to be learned from the despair, humiliation, and loss that a person experiences. It will force her to look inside and ultimately stretch, grow, and gain more knowledge and understanding about herself. You are truly doing her a favor if you tell her the truth, although she won't think that at the time. Who knows, you may even be attracted to her again if she is able to change. - Dr. Ellen
2006-06-12 07:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by super_sexy_amazona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters you need to look at your past relationships, have you been in relationships where the guy has cheated? If so than your expecting your fiancee to do the same. You can't believe in your mind that he is not cheating. You should also remember just because he may talk to another girl or a girl looks at him, who is he in love with, who did you ask to marry, and who does he go home with that is all you. You need to remember that because if the behavior doesn't change it may start to affect both of you and your relationship.
2006-06-12 07:27:16 · answer #3 · answered by trebeck12000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just realize that eventually your man will get tired of being accused and arguing over the same thing. It will get old and he'll get tired of having to defend himself. Unless your ready to loose him don't change...Otherwise chill out! Don't always assume that the worst will happen. When other gurls look at him and they try to flirt leave it alone...know inside that when you go home at the end of the day who does he go home to...YOU. That's the most important thing to realize. Talk to someone about it because your insecurity and jealousy will just drive him crazy and nobody wants a nagging gf to come home to. Good luck gurly!
*Put off till tomorrow what you may regret saying today! *
2006-06-12 07:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Mia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking for help...........so there's a start! You want to pat yourself on the back for that!! Then the best thing you want to do, is feel good about yourself, have a good self-esteem, and see, if you feel good, and are confident, then you will just eek that out of every pore in your body and there won't be any need for jealousy, asking questions. Be confident in yourself, no matter what your fiancee says or does!!! What is meant to be, will be, there is no controlling stuff like that, so let it go!!!!!!!!!! Just love yourself and have fun in this world!!!
2006-06-12 07:37:32 · answer #5 · answered by Laurie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is not a healthy situation. there are definitely some type of trust, abandonment, or insecurity issues there. whatever happened in the past needs to be dealt with and let go. if you want to continue to marriage you should get some counseling to find out why are things the way there are with you. if not, you may end up losing your fiance!
2006-06-12 07:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by heresthedeal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problem stems from insecurities. You maybe insecure in yourself and/or your relationships. Maybe you should find a counselor/spiritual adviser (priest, rabbi, minister, etc.) to talk to. Honestly, you can't be in a real relationship until you fix your problems. Ask your guy if you can take a break and be friends until you've "got your head on straight", so to speak. Good luck!
2006-06-12 07:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by proud_usmc_wife04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, honey -- you are a really insecure lady. You need to talk with someone about it.....either he is looking at other women as prospects, or you are imagining it. If he is a true blue kinda guy, you will surely drive him away. If you intend to make your relationship work, you need some help with your self esteem.
2006-06-12 07:16:43 · answer #8 · answered by ladyren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you fear you create!
Just focus on the fact you are in love and trust each other.You can't control what other women do nor can u stop him from speaking to anyone.You really need to overcome your insecurities before you push him away for good.
2006-06-12 07:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by rachellynn200 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Key word in a relationship is "trust." Get some counseling.
2006-06-12 07:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by scarlett_038 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋