Heres the deal:Met a girl and we clicked almost instantly.Was dating for 2 months and asked her for a relationship. She wasnt ready so I gave her space. We slept together once and soon after she told me she was confused and needed space. I found out later she went back to "talk" to her ex and they ended up having sex. She regretted it and we are now in a relationship(we were just dating then) Was it cheating and should I be concerned?
2006-06-12 07:03:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
p.s I was serious with her and really wanted a relationship,but she kept telling me no at the time.
2006-06-12 07:18:40 · update #1
another thing her ex works for maintenance in her dads building-she see's him every day.
2006-06-12 07:21:16 · update #2
Although it isn't a very good thing that she did, i understand her.... sometimes you don't know and need to figure out who u need to be with....
....it sucks, but i think it is something that you can move on from.... techinicly she didn't cheat on you, and it was early on..... the important thing is she figured out that you are the one she wants to be with.... id say just leave it in the past and enjoy each other
2006-06-12 07:07:56 · answer #1 · answered by Whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that she told you she was confused, and needed space indicates you weren't really in a committed relationship. So by most standards she wasn't cheating on you. (It probably feels like it to you as you were ready to commit to her.) On the plus she did chose you over the other guy. That said this is a big issue.
You need to make sure that she understands that while you aren't holding a grudge for what happened in the past. It needs to stay there. She needs to commit to avoiding her ex that means no phone call, emails, chats over coffee, or anything. You need her to understand that you are her are over if this happens now. This guy is a danger, and that danger is not that she'll sleep with him again. It's her heart you need to worry about. Where that goes the rest follows.
PS- There is a risk you are in a rebound relationship. So take this slow, and don't get more invested in this relationship than she does. Let her be the driving force in this relationship even so often.
2006-06-12 07:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it wasn't cheating then beause you two were just dating.
However, I'd be concerned. This girl seems to be hooked enough on her ex that i'd be worried, and her ex will more than likely try to tap her for a booty call in the future, and i think that you two moved way too fast considering the situation.
I'd back off a little bit because it just sounds prime for a situation in which she will royally screw you over and go back to her ex.
2006-06-12 07:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was surely confused! The problem would be if she had sex with her ex while having relationship with you. BUT HAVE YOUR EYES OPEN! Be sure that she got over him. Have a sincere discussion and ask her if she still loves her ex. Insist that was the first and the last time you tolerate this. Tell her that if this happens again, you will break up!
2006-06-12 07:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by super_sexy_amazona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, Infedility is so hurtful, and it can really ruin trust.....But talk with her, be honest....tell her you don't want to be hurt again, that you lost trust in her, and it will take time to get over it...but you want to be with her, so your willing to continue...but just make sure you both know that cheating isn't allowed in the relationship, make some guidelines and rules together, ask her to cut off interaction and friendship with her ex. The temptation should be eliminated!
Good Luck!
2006-06-12 07:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by dawn_schrameck 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, I would be concerned. I would give her at least a year to get off the rebound. I know thats a long time but rebounders are such a big head ache. You are not too far into the relationship now to bail out.
2006-06-12 07:07:53 · answer #6 · answered by Michael F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - she was just "confused." I think what happened here is that she thought sex with you was sub-par. She went over to have sex with her ex because she couldn't remember if sex was any better with him. After screwing his brains out, she realized that you were at least average - hence, the end of her confusion and her return to the fold.
2006-06-12 07:10:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youll werent dating whn she had sex with her ex.
But its quite apparent tht shes not completely over him... So I wouldnt say its cheating as she wasnt committed to you then. But I feel u need to take care to avoid this in the future. Be sure of all ur decessions
Good luck
2006-06-12 07:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean, it depends. if you guys have been together for like 2 years now, then forgive her. I mean, give her sh1t, but forgive her. If you guys are together not long after that happened, then woah, id give her the boot. Shell waste your time and in the end you may get hurt cayse she doesnt know what she wants.
2006-06-12 07:08:51 · answer #9 · answered by Baby Jack born 4/5/09 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems odd to me..it would have bothered me immensely and i would have called it off. i think it's interesting that you classify things into different categories, like dating vs relationship... she clearly isn't clear about the boundaries-it seems like your definitions don't match up..she had a relationship with her ex and ended it, started hanging out with you, slept with him.. sounds like you've been wonderful pacing it out, giving her the space she wants and being patient..how long is this going on? and how much longer are you willing to wait around? i'd suggest matching up your definitions and comparing near-future plans..if they don't match up, at least you'll know and you can decide whether you want to wait around or move on. and if you're going to wait around, at least you'll be able to categorize what you are to her. good luck man.
2006-06-12 07:09:21 · answer #10 · answered by happy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋