Is marriage an outdated institution?

Question

I'd like to know before even considering popping the question. I guess the statistics tell us that 60% of first-time marriages end in divorce....and that 35% of the ones that decide to stick-it out for various reasons are unhappy, unsattisfied and some of those even begin affairs. What do you all think? Is it worth it in this day and age? What is it that we need to change in ourselves as individuals and as a society to change the concept of marriage in this century to make it successful? I'd really like to hear from the ones who have been there and the young hopefuls that can give us new and innovative ideas

Answer 1

Marriage is definitely not an outdated institution. I think the reason why 60% of first time marriage fail is because people rush into things thinking they've finally found the person they love without really considering what marriage means. I believe that if you truly love the person that you're with and you've been thinking about asking her to marry you and you've dated for at LEAST a year if not two, then go and ask her to marry you. One of my friends who has just recently had a baby and got married said that the fact that they got married made no difference because they'd been living for together for more than a year. so, my advice to you, is if you don't live together, do that first. and if you do and you've been dating for enough time so that your mom would never say, "wow, so soon?!" then go for it. and good luck in your marriage. I'm sure you will be to very happy lovebirds together. :)

Answer 2

Marriage is not outdated, many people prefer to be unmarried. I am one of those people but I was married for 8 years and I had a very nasty divorce. My ex ran around,cheated and ended up giving me an STD because I believed that he loved me and would never cheat. I was wrong, and I have no desire at this point in time to get remarried but I don't think it is outdated. Yes there are some of those couples that will stick it out but you can't stay in an unhappy marriage or relationship because it will only make you and the other person more angrier with the other or you both will resent each other and blame the other for what you might have both missed out on.

Answer 3

The funny thing about this is that at first, I totally agreed. However, it's not just the woman that can do the things you stated. The funny thing about marriage is that I don't think it fits todays society. In the world today, everything is about instant results, instant happiness. If one road doesn't get you where you want to go quickly enough, take another route, heck hop on a plane. The possibilities and opportunities are endless... well apply that modern mentality to marriage as well, since it's seen in all other aspects of a persons life. In a marriage, you will have times where you don't feel "in love" or when you wonder "is there someone else better for me", you have moments where it flat out sucks. Years ago a person bought a car and drove it into the ground. The repaired it time and time again. Now, we toss them to the side almost as soon as possible and trade it in for a new, prettier one. Marriage is about the long haul, it's about the giving and giving and giving and seeing it through. I believe most anyone can make their marriage last if both parties are willing to put the EFFORT and COMMITMENT into it. It takes work and it is a beautiful thing, if one remembers that there is no one on gods green earth that will keep the butterflies in your tummy day in day out. It's sad that marriage isn't a serious thing anymore. The divorce rate is sad, the amount of people who do the things you state is sad.

Answer 4

As a woman, I feel that marriage is a necessity for me because with regard to gender equality in relationships, our culture has not caught up to what it professes--in other words, it does not practice what it preaches.

In my experience: A woman who gets upset and causes a scene, because she has been betrayed, humiliated, and emotionally devastated is called: 'psycho'. 'psycho-girl'. Put a wedding ring on her finger, and suddenly she's a respectable woman with a very legitimate grievance...that is all.

Women get the shaft without marriage...they often function in every way that a wife would, but they have not got the social and cultural status of 'wife', which affords some protection against being totally disrespected. And a man to whom you are not married can wreck your life as thoroughly and quickly as if he had been your husband. The only difference is that if you are not married to him, he can shrug you off as having been inconsequential. Despite however long you may have acted to him like a wife-analog, if you are not married, you are expendable. At a moment's notice.

I'm sure this absolutely *smacks* of a chip on my shoulder, but so be it.

Perhaps I could have made this a lot shorter simply by saying that women who are unmarried parnters of men are subject to a lot of bullying. This is not to say that married women are not bullied as well, but our culture *actively* frowns upon it, whereas I don't think that 'girlfriends' get so much support.

My larger opinion upon the matter is that we could well do away with marriage, if women were really respected outside of it. Of course, I would love to see that day. But then that would also be the day when marriages would start to *work*.

Answer 5

NO!!! I've been married almost twelve years now and still happily married with three kids. The problem with many today is everyone wants everything to be simple and so many take the easy way out. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but it does take work, attention, devotion, and patience. Many enter into the "idea of marriage" and expect it to be picture perfect and for it to take care of itself. You have to make time for each other, appreciate each other, laugh together, and keep the lines of communication open all the time. The best advice for marriage I can give is "never go to bed mad, you never know what tomorrow may bring!"

Answer 6

Here's my two cents as to why marriages these days fail. I think people marry to soon. They jump in before they really, I mean REALLY know the other person. You ever hear someone say, my spouse just wasn't like that before we married? Well they were, not enough time was taken before the marriage took place. My advice, have a long engagement, don't rush, and take your time!! Good luck!

Answer 7

I'm married 29 years,we had 25 happy years,four horrible years.
Believe me or not ,I don't trust marriage any more, so many unhappy marriages from my friends and relatives,divorces,cheating ,lying,fighting,all bad examples to the children,so sorry for the kids who live together as enemy to each other but because of that piece of document.

Answer 8

One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://tr.im/Zhhc5

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 9

Well I will put it this way. Most people today would like for it to be oudated but it should not be so. Marriage is very important and should not be entered into lightly! People should men their vows and honor them and abide by them all the days of their lives till death do they part. I do feel it is very much worth it today ! I am very happily married and devoted and very much in love with my husband and we have been married almost 7 years and i love it!!!!
As individuals we need to change ourselves and our views about marrige and what it really means. We need to be selfless and not selfish we need to love each other where they are at and not try to change them into what we want them to be... The only one we have power to change at all is ourselves to be the better spouse that we need to be! We need to be committed, honest, loyal and devoted to each other and to treat each other the way we want to be treated. A great website it http://www.marriagetoday.org I hope this answers your question. I love this question it is a great one! Thanks so much for asking it! Marriage is what you make of it! Love is a choice:) If people would concentrate and work on ther marriages and relationships like they do at work or being better parents what a better world and marriages we would have today!

Answer 10

It's true that marriage has lost it's sanction, it seems more like "till I don't feel like it anymore" than "till death do us part". So many people don't realize the effort it takes to make a marriage work and when the times get rough they bail. I still believe that marriage should be once and forever.