How do I cope with finding out that I can't have children?

Answer 1

I am SOOOOOO sorry. I know exacty how you feel. (I found out when I was 18 that I can't have children as well!)
My first thought when the doctor told me was... "Well, adoption is cool..." At the time I was just beginning my senior year of high school, and hadn't really put a lot of thought into parenting. I knew that being a mom was what I wanted to do/be when I grew up.

I know it hurts- the feelings of inadequacy, the loss, the looks, the ignorant things people say, etc. I've also done a lot of crying- you wouldn't believe the tension it releases!! Greiving is a very important part of the process- Feel Sad!!

I've found that the best way to handle stress is to do something about it. If you are currently in a position to do so, explore adoption. I'm guessing you may have already heard this a bazillion times, but it's true- there are lots of babies out there that need a good mom.

Another option is to pray. I don't know if you're religious, but I am. Through speaking with my Father in Heaven, I've come to know that in my situation, He has something better in store for me, because of it. This has been VERY hard for me to accept. But I know for a fact, that He loves me and wants what is best for me.

Don't let anyone tell you (or at least don't take it to heart) that you're barren because of something you've done, or that it's punishment for something. Also- don't believe anybody that says that you'll be a bad mother- they're full of you-know-what!! Being able to get pregnant has NO bearing on parenting skills.

If you have a good friend who will just listen, talk to her, ask her if you can cry on her shoulder... you can even cry on mine, if you want ;)

Answer 2

First, let me say that I'm sorry. I can't begin to imagine how are feeling right now. I have a friend that is in the same situation. I can talk to her for you and if it's ok with you, I can have her contact you. The best thing to do is to talk to others in that situation. Then start looking into adoption. We were looking into it because we were told that we wouldn't have children without medical intervention, and that was too expensive, so we started looking into adoption.

There are so many kids out there that need good, loving homes. Sometimes I think that people who are unable to have children are more able to love and more willing to love a child then some women are who have had their own children. Adoption is a hard process and it makes you more aware- even painfully aware- that your dreams take longer and are much more expensive then just having kids. Most women can just pop out a kid and not care about that child, or take good care of a child. But when you are poked, proded, have everything in your life expamined by others, spend a small fortune, and basically have a waiting period of an elephant pregnancy, it makes you more grateful for the chance to be a mom and dad.

Let me know if you want my friend to contact you!! She would love to talk to you and help you out emotionaly.

Answer 3

That really is a major thing to find out.
You have to now look at your other alternitives but dont rush into it. Give youself sometime to grieve.

If you can talk to family and friends. If you feel you need it you might want to contact a psycologist or counciller to talk about your feelings.

Girlfriends are the best to make you feel better so gather up your best gfs and have a cry on thier shoulder and eat alot of ice cream.

If you adopt you will most likely love that child as much as you would if it was your biological child and you would most likely be giving it a better life.

It doesnt seem fair though does it?

I understand how hard it must be and I;m sure alot of other people understand how horrible it is too...

Good Luck

Answer 4

As a mom of 6, all boys, I fully grasp being beaten. The largest lifesaver for me was once constructing a activities. I am definite you have already got a sample of the day kind of already with out even figuring out it. You can time table time for your self in that activities. one million or two quiet occasions of even quarter-hour grew to be a lifestyles saver. One entice significant household mothers fall in to is feeling they must entertain their youngsters at all times.There is not anything fallacious with having the children play of their room for a time whilst you sit down and browse, needle factor, determine... what ever! They get a extra targeted mother in go back. Quality time with a completely satisfied mother is valued at greater than volume time while you are frazzled. PLUS! your youngsters are at an age wherein they're flawlessly able of serving to across the condo. A 12 yr historical can positioned laundry within the dryer, learn to the more youthful ones, aid with dishes, vacuum... a nine year historical can sweep, form laundry, rinse dishes.. three year olds can positioned soiled garments in a abate and positioned away toys. They study the right way to deal with themselves that approach, an overly priceless lesson. Like Mary Poppins, you'll make it a laugh, too! I have had a few of my nice talks with the lads while cleansing up in combination. Most main, benefit from the time you may have in combination. Remember, they develop up so rapid and while they're grown, they are going to keep in mind all of the completely satisfied occasions as a household greater than how blank the condo was once! Go make a few reminiscences!

Answer 5

I don't exactly know, but first thing is to look on the bright side, you can adopt one of millions without a proper family to care for he/she. You may never be able to cope with it. I have friends that can't have kids, and they adopt, they say that it was the best day of their lives, and when you see the smile on their face you forget that you can't have kids.
Just remember that there are many women like you, you don't have to go through this alone.

Answer 6

Finding that out could be hard and devastating but you just need some alone time to think things clearly you could ALSO get counseling or talk to other women with the same problem and think about other options such as adoption or you could get fertility shots buy pills that help you produce eggs or even consider surgery but consult your doctor before doing any of the following

Answer 7

i am so terribly sorry to hear about your bad news. i couldnt possibly understand what your going through but my thoughts and prayers are with you. you are beautiful for being a woman that wants children, there are many who just cant be bothered anymore!

adoption is a wonderful and selfless thing. its choosing a child, which is special. we dont choose the ones we have, and although they are precious and come from your own womb, there are plusses to adoption. the child you choose is special, and you will be giving him/her a better life, taking them home to be loved and raised as your own. its beautiful.

I just have to let you know, that God did not do this to you, please dont be mistaken. i dont know if your a believer, but i am, and i want to tell you that you CAN have children. a barren womb is the devil's work. he just wants to destroy joy and life, and make people think "oh well, life happens", but you know what? the Lord wants you to have children. you are His child, and what more joy that a father receives than seeing His children, grow up and have there own. it is a blessing that God wants to give every woman, including you. He loves you. if you dont know God, i ask you to seek Him, talk to a Christian, find God for yourself, pray to be blessed with a child. the Lord gives to those who believe and are faithful.

if you decide not to pursue God, i pray that your beautiful adopted family is a happy and full one. Full of love and values and security, that your wonderful adopted children will be so glad to have you as there mother, and that you will always have a close relationship with them and that family is first and special.

God bless you in whatever you do.

Answer 8

I am sorry. I can't imagine how you feel, but the first answer was great! Turn your energy into adoption. You could be saving a disadvantaged child form a lousy life. Turn your negative engery into apositive one. I know it sounds strange, but try a puppy while you are waiting to adopt. It's just another little life you can save.
Good luck and take care.

Answer 9

Maybe put your energy into looking into adoption? I want my own children, but if I couldnt/cant, then I would certainly adopt.