My parent's and I have a problem, please help.?

Question

My parents say that I am a complete embarassment to them because of the way I dress. I dress in what I feel like wearing. An example is the outfit I'm wearing now. A green peasant skirt with a green belt and a black shirt with a green heart on it. I have on a purple collar (which my mother bought for me) and I have my hair parted to the right. My parents say that my clothes are an embarrasment, and that I need to dress in the jean mini skirts and things like that, which I don't have the body for. I don't know what to do about this. Please help me...

~*~The Martyr~*~

My parents say that I am a complete embarassment to them because of the way I dress. I dress in what I feel like wearing. An example is the outfit I'm wearing now. A green peasant skirt with a green belt and a black shirt with a green heart on it. I have on a purple collar (which my mother bought for me) and I have my hair parted to the right. My parents say that my clothes are an embarrasment, and that I need to dress in the jean mini skirts and things like that, which I don't have the body for. I don't know what to do about this. Please help me...

~*~The Martyr~*~


PS: I HAVE told them how I feel, and they just don't really care...

To answer some of the age questions:

I'm 15, truning 16 in October. I can't wear the "three inch heels" and everything because I'm hitting 6 feet tall. I don't know WHY my parents want me to dress the way the people who I HATE dress. For an idea of how I look, I look like this. I think it will explain some.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/Kaibagurl/dress001.jpg


That's the dress I wore on Saturday to my banquet for my marching band.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/Kaibagurl/68573482_213434595_0.jpg


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/Kaibagurl/Hawaii.png

That one is me and my brother. The way I look there is how I normally dress...

AND DON'T MAKE FUN OF THE WAY I LOOK! >>

Answer 1

wow. This is the 1st time I have ever heard of parents criticising their daughter for dressing too conservatively. Judging from your photos I can't see anything wrong with the way you dress. There must be more to it. Ask your Mum (or Dad if you are more comfortable but Mum is probably easier) why they think the way they do and then explain calmly why you feel how you do.
If this doesn't work, go and buy the shortest mini skirt and tiniest top you can find. Choose a time when only your parents are at home and then dress in these clothes and show your parents how you look. Go thong and braless as well, for full effect. Try to be as revealing as you can and definitely do not look embarrassed (even though you will be). Hopefully this will shock them into letting you make your own judgements and respecting your opinion.

Answer 2

I have to admit to being a little confused by your parents. I guess they feel that you need to dress more like everyone else so that you fit in with the crowd so to speak. They probably are afraid of you being seen as an outsider who is judged by people who only look at what you are wearing and not who you are. If this is the case, I'm disappointed in them. Clothes are a simple form of self expression and self expression is an important thing in a child's development. When I hear what your wearing and compare it to what other people are wearing I just don't see the problem. Would they rather you were wearing something that showed way too much of your body like so many other young girls now days? You seem comfortable wearing what you want and being who you want and that is a wonderful thing to see in place of the normal group of kids who are so concerned about fitting in and need to wear just he right clothes to be popular. Talk to your parents and explain to them that you like who you are and what you wear and that it is your own form of self expression.

Answer 3

The outfit you just describes sounds very cute to me. It sounds like a very tasteful and cute outfit and I dont understand why your parents would disapprove. Most parents would be happy for their children to dress that way and most parents disapprove of their daughters wearing jean mini skirts.

The way you dress is an expression of yourself and who you are and you should not let anyone take that away from you. Your parents should love you for who you are, and like I said, the way you dress is a reflection of who you are.

It sounds (to me) like your parents are being a bit selfish. I dont understand why your dress would be an embarassment to them unless it's that they want you to look like all the other kids, but that is obviously not you. I could understand if you were showing too much skin or something like that, but you dont sound like that is what you are doing.

Perhaps your parents are being selfish or perhaps they just want you to fit in. Either way, you need to come to a compromise here. It is not okay for your parents to put you down and say you are an embarassment. There are better ways for them to express how they feel about your attire. You need to explain to them how it makes you feel when they say those things. There are several ways you can come to a compromise about your attire. Take your mom shopping with you and find articles of clothing you agree on but try not to let it escalate into an arugment. When she starts saying things that hurt your feelings, just tell her.

Answer 4

How old are you anyway? Did your parents actually tell you that or do you feel that they think that way about the way you dress. Maybe they don't feel your putting enough effort in your appearance.
Either way you should dress comfortably but still appropriate. Maybe your parents feel you could look alot better in a different style of clothing. Why don't you give it a try if you don't like it then tell them why.

Answer 5

Tell then exactly how you feel. I see nothing wrong with how you dress at all. If anything they should be glad that you are dressing modestly instead of provocatively. How you dress is not an embarrassment and they should not see it that way either. How would they feel if you went out and shaved your head and tattooed your head? They need to appreciate you for how you are and what you have to offer and they also need to realize that you do have your own tastes and are not a clone of them. If you need someone to talk with let me know. I am a graduate student majoring in psychology and working on my Ph.D.

Answer 6

You are just expressing yourself, we all go thru that in life. Tell that to your parents, but also be able to tell them what part of yourself you are expressing. Apparently they think you have the body for jean mini skirts, so they must love you and be proud of you. I believe they want something better for you, but just expressing it in a negative way. It is so important to talk with them and maybe you can meet each other halfway on your feelings, so that in the end, everyone is somewhat satisfied. Best of Luck to you.

Answer 7

well reading what you have on now i might be able to see why they would be embarrassed. but that doesn't give them the right to criticize you. You are an individual, a person, not a barbie doll for them to dress. You don't need to wear miniskirts but try maybe a longer skirt or capris. They will appreciate the fact that you are willing to try something different.

Answer 8

Are you wearing what you like when you are with them? If you are, then, don't do it. It would really please parents to be asked what you should wear when you are with them. But, does it mean that you are unhappy if they told you to wear the clothes they want you to wear even though you don't like them? Forget this attitude. You are a family and children should obey what their parents think are good for them. Kids are rebellious in nature when they are spoiled. Are you? Don't be. Just be humble enough and obey. Later on, you will understand what a family is like when you have one. Don't you know that even a royal princess can not do what she wants? She has to abide by what her parents like for her. And, as for your looks, forget that too. Your parents love you 100% or they would not have noticed you and give you good advices. Be in the team - there is only one leader - your father - follow him.

Answer 9

Do you feel embarrased in what you're wearing? If not, then tell your parents that while it may embarrass them, it doesn't bother you, and that they need to respect your personal style. Who would want their daughter running around in jean mini skirts anyway? Tell your parents while it may make them uncomfortable, your choice of clothing is what it is - YOUR CHOICE. Eventually if they see you are not about to give into their comments, they may just learn to accept your choices.

Answer 10

I am assuming you are a teen but it really doesn't make any difference.People use clothing and hairstyle to express themselves as individuals. Appearance does not make you a better person than you are. Apparel is only an exterior shell.Are you respectful, considerate, do you have integrity and positive values, are you loving and empathetic and areyou getting your education?There is so much more to identify you as a good person than a fleeting fashion statement. Love yourself for who you are not for what you wear. Your parents should be boosting your self esteem not eroding it.