My husband and I are having a marriage battle with eachother. I am 56 yrs old and he is 30yrs old. He feels he can have his group of friends including single women and lie to me (because I would not understand) and keep them hidden from me. As he knows all my friends and everything I do. What am I doing wrong? Is this alright in his age group? My kids are his age and they love for me to be around their friends. But he says I would not get along with his. Help me!
2006-06-12 04:05:59 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Forget about his age group...the lieing is wrong. I have no doubt that if he doesnt want you around his friends either he is a shamed of you or they dont know about you for a reason.....either talk to him about it if you think this is worth saving or move on and chalk it up to experience and find a nice guy closer to your own age that wont come up with this stupid excuse
2006-06-12 04:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by bigjimmyguy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The answer is NO. For a marriage is suppose to be a sacred bond,that the both of you were suppose to be prepared for when the both of you said I do before G-d and other.
My question to you is in marrying a 30 year old, how much thought did you put into this. I know that you were lonely and did not want to be alone, but to marry a 30 year old person may not have been in your best interest. What you two have in common was reason enough to give you second thoughts about getting married to a 30 year old person. Well you are now married and I expect you to do your best in supporting this commitment, There are Rabbi, you can talk to and there is prayer. As for me I wish the both you the best of luck in straighten this situation out.
2006-06-12 11:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by kilroymaster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what the circumstances, deliberately lying to your spouse is never okay. If he'll lie about that, what else will he lie about?
Seriously, with that much of an age difference, I don't know how you're doing it. It sounds to me like you're going to have to lay down the law. But doing so would make you feel like a mom nagging her son, eh? *shrug* Either make a compromise with him, or it sounds like this marriage doesn't have the potential to go very far.
2006-06-12 11:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by dulcetpurr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing is right that has to be a secret from the spouse.
it's not wrong to have seperate friends, but it's wrong to hide things. to be honest your age difference is a concern to me. i can't help but wonder how long you have been married. there is a big difference in the level of maturity in those 26 years. he is still young and impulsive and you are more level and grounded (i would assume). the age difference is bound to be disasterous at some point... you may be seeing the first signs of it now with this question.
2006-06-12 11:11:14 · answer #4 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never good for a married man to lie to his wife and it is never good for either spouse to have friends he keeps hidden from his wife. How can he say you would not get along if you have even met them and had a chance to know them. Something is fishy. Get answers or get help. If that doesn't work, dump him.
2006-06-12 11:08:58 · answer #5 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The lying to the spouse part is the problem. The hardest part in any relationship is COMMUNICATION. Keep trying to open up the lines. Try not to close down on him when he says you won't understand. Say, " Try me ". Then, if what he says really steams you up, count to ten, then count it backwards, be calm and try to talk it out, rationally. Explain your point of view. I always found if you preface everything with " I feel like....", " In my opinion.." Make it obvious that the two of you have different opinions and then the two of you try to reconcile the different opinions, hopefully without the screaming match.
Good luck
2006-06-12 11:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by yodeladyhoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never proper for a married man to lie to his spoude about ANYTHING at all, it doesn't matter what it is. If you are lying there is a reason behind it. You should never keep things from your spouse - that is always wrong.
2006-06-12 11:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all....IT is not right for spouses to lie to each other about anything!! Nor is it right for them to carry on relationships with people that truly make their spouse uncomfortable. You have two choices here...deal with is behavior, or DEMAND he changes...if he can't be honored to introduce you as his wife to his friends....then you need to find someone that will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I would not put up with his selfish behavior at all.
2006-06-12 11:17:33 · answer #8 · answered by getrd2go 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need marriage counciling.. You mention temple?? The rabbi or person in charge of your temple should be able to help. The age difference is catching up with you, and your husband likes to be with younger people.. Counciling even if your husband won't go..
2006-06-12 11:11:04 · answer #9 · answered by † PRAY † 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT EVER proper for spouses to lie to each other. They should be directly honest with each other; how else can they know the truth about what the other thinks?
2006-06-12 11:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by sandislandtim 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋